A Day In The Life Of A Madman

Role Models

2011-10-23T22:58:00.000-07:00

Whoever didn't have a role model growin' up is a spirit or somethin'. We all have our role models, whether good or bad. And this is what this movie's all about, havin' a role model. And in this case, Danny(Paul Rudd) and Wheeler(Sean William Scott).

If you have these two as real life role models, then the movie's just the same thing.

Kudos to this movie for turnin' me on to KISS. Yeah I know Gene Simmons was a sex rocker who claims to have bedded thousands of women.

Which is pure BS judging from the looks of this guy.

But I was caught unawares that their sound could make me bang my head(even for just a li'l bit).

And all along, I though that they were just the Mickey Mouse of rock'n roll.

My view of Sean William Scott's acting went up plenty of notches. His gesture when he said "Gotcha!" to Paul Rudd when they threw the surprise party was unplanned I believe. It was a genius adlib!

Paul Rudd really looked kinda' like Ben Affleck. Thanks to the li'l black dude(Ronnie) pointing that out. Elizabeth Banks was, well, just Elizabeth Banks. Nothin' extraordinary about what she did here.

But the hidden gem here is none other than Jane Lynch. I LOL'd when she started dancing from behind the TV set before she started her adult-kiddie sessions.

Yes. Snorting coke could do that to a person, and more!

I don't feel like the Russian Judge in rating this flick. So I give it a 5.5
+ 1.5 for Ken Jeong and Jane Lynch making it even funnier.

Just looking at this guy's face could make me laugh all day!

*images from http://blogmedia.dramafever.com, http://signsofcocaineuse.com, psychologytoday.com, prlog.org, scenicreflections.com, http://iamatvjunkie.typepad.com/

Star Power(Mayweather VS Ortiz)

2011-09-25T04:19:00.000-07:00

Josesito Lopez-Jesse Vargas

Lopez comes into this fight with more experience. But after the 1st round, he's the one who's bloodied with a cut lip. The battering basically continued until the 3rd round, when Vargas suddenly ate some Lopez knuckles. The round ended with Lopez bangin' away. Vargas' knees even buckled!

Vargas' knee.

In rounds 4 and 5, Lopez was the more aggressive one. But Vargas was the one who was landing the cleaner shots. Despite these clean landings, Vargas was rocked a li'l bit once again.

In the 8th round, Lopez received a low blow by Vargas. Lopez almost automatically had this round 10-8. After that losing round, Vargas seemed to have found another gear, albeit with rubbery legs.

now in the 10th and final round, Vargas almost wen out, but it wasn't enough for Lopez. Vargas wins via split decision!

Adonis Stevenson VS Dion Savage

This was one for the super-middleweights. Heavy punchers I should say. In the opening round, Adonis "Superman" Stevenson from Quebec Canada showed everyone why he's Superman. He had Savage kissin' the canvas. Refere Tony Weeks gave him another chance to fight, but he blew it.Savage wasn't returning any shots so Weeks said that enough was enough. Stevenson wins via TKO.

I don't know why they're so many of 'em black Supermans!

Pablo Cesar Cano VS Erik "El Terrible" Morales

I really don't know anything about Cano. Except that he looks like one young tyke. He basically just outboxes Erik in the opening round.

Now in the following round, Cano had the edge in punches landed, cutting off Morales' angles. Though El Terrible showed how wily he was, by doin' the basic 1-2's. which more or less connected. This kind of boxing continued 'till the 3rd, where I think Morales stole because he was kinda' bullying Cano, showing the young pup his place.

At this point, I grew hungry, so I decided to grab a quarter pounder and fries. When I came back in the 10th, Cano was a bloody mess! Seemed like Morales used his experience to rack up some points. Erik Morales wins via ref stoppage to get the WBC Lightweight Championship of the World.

Saul "Canelo" Alvarez VS Alfonso Gomez

This Super Welterweight bout was Live from the Staples Center. Which was kinda' weird because Starpower is actually in the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas, NV. But anyway, on with the program.

The 1st round was kinda' interesting. As Gomez was duckin' in, he ate a left hook from Alvarez which floored him. The 2nd round was a li'l different for Gomez was sending some body-head-body shots to Canelo. The roud ended with chants of "Canelo" echoin' all throughout the Staples Center.

I still don't really know WTF Canelo means, and I'm too lazy to Google.

In the 3rd, Gomez had an elbow in, and therefore was booed. After that round, Gomez had a slip. Then a barrage from Gomez commences, with Alvarez cleverly doin' a shoulder roll to avoid damage, and at the same time deliverin' counters of his own. A counter upper actually rocked Gomez.

Same thing happened in the 5th, with Gomez bringin' on the pressure. But Canelo just seemed to relax to back down. I should say the kid's pretty good!

I initially thought that the ref prematurely stopped the fight in the 6th. But if you're the ref, the 13th unanswered punch could be bad news for the boxer who's getting beaten to a pulp. Alvarez wins via TKO.

Floyd "Money" Mayweather VS "Vicious" Victor Ortiz

This is just like a typical Money fight, with lots of pugilists and celebs in attendance like Paulie Malignaggi, Hearns, Sugar Ray Leonard, Winky Wright, Jamie Foxx, 50 Cent(who was actually part of Floyd's entourage when he entered the ring), Magic Johnson, Denzel Washington, Mike Tyson, Oscar Dela Hoya, P Diddy, Mark Wahlberg, etc. I also was confused because Floyd was comin' in as the challenger, and yet he owned the red corner and came in last. You could plainly see the dirty world of boxing politics comin' into play there.

Of course, the opening round belonged to Money. But Ortiz somehow managed to sneak in 2 heavy ones. Looked like FLoyd didn't like gettin' hit. Same story in the next round, with Money shaken up again. Though Money's just too fuckin' fast. He even threw some strange straight rights, where he was stomping his feet after the punch. It wasn't weird for me. It was just genius how he does it.

In the 3rd, the speed difference really showed. Ortiz can't catch the Road Runner in Mayweather. He really makes stickin' and movin' beautiful to watch.

Now the 4th round was where the interesting stuff happened. Ortiz stupidly gave Floyd a head butt while he had him cornered. Tough luck for Ortiz, since he had a point taken against him. It was now almost impossible to catch up on points so a KO in the usual Ortiz fashion was Ortiz's ticket to victory. After the also stupid ref named Joe Cortez separated the two, the two fighters once again shook hands, with stupid Joe looking at the judges table. It was here that Money gave a sucker punch in the form of a mini left hook. This dazed Ortiz just a li'l bit so he looked to Joe to complain. This was another stupidity in Ortiz's part because he wasn't protecting himself so it gave Money an opportunity to sneak in a straight right while Ortiz wasn't lookin'.

Now you can call Floyd a cheater because in reality, he could have just waited for things to settle down, and he would still win the fight. Victor couldn't catch up with him anyway. and he also wasted my money because I was expecting a 12-rounder! Or at least a 6th or 7th rounder for Ortiz is notorious for gassin' out in the 6th. A big boo for Floyd. Can't wait for the Pacman to beat him. Though I would still imagine that this would be a tall order for Manny for how would he catch Mayweather? That's the question. Floyd's fuckin' bionic!

*images from outfitterssupply.com, http://weedoom.com, http://andthatswhyyouresingle.com, http://getsports24.com

Transformers 3(Dark Of The Moon)

2011-09-25T03:07:00.000-07:00

I was just blown away. I mean, really. The debris on me was so thick. I wasn't bored. Though the 3D-ness wasn't that excellent. Autobots and Decepticons weren't jumpin' at me. I like stuff like that.

Anyway, it's sad to see Ironhide die. He's one of the toughest motherfuckers in the history of the Autobots. And yet there he was, shriveled and dead. Like your old man's penis.

Underneath all that shit is the dead body of Ironhide.

I'm just glad that they didn't focus on human character development that much. I mean, Megan Fox's replacement was hot and all(most especially the accent). but who fuckin' cares about Sam Witcicky's love life?!

Not important.

And Shia should be dead too! I can't see why Starscream couldn't bring him all the way to the Stratosphere, then slam him down to the ground. Just because Sam Witwicky was hangin' from his eye, doesn't mean that he can't fly high.

The face of robot stupidity.

I was like a giddy kid upon seein' Sentinel Prime. The reason being that he's the first Prime that I've seen who came before Optimus Prime. I know there was an excerpt of the ancient Primes at the beginning of the 80's cartoon series. But I was just too damn young to recall.

And why won't they just kill Megatron and let him come back as Galvatron? That would be way cooler, since the Autobots always end up winning anyway. They should place a formidable opponent before the Autobots to make shit much more interesting.

My rating for this flick is a 6/10.
+ 1 for replacing that slut named Megan Fox.

*images from http://a4.l3-images.myspacecdn.com, http://img2.timeinc.net, pictures19.com, http://images.wikia.com

The Hangover(Part 2)

2011-09-25T02:50:00.000-07:00

A funny sequel to an original that was just as funny. I knew that this franchise would deliver the goods that we Hangover fans were all askin' for.

My bro and I were actually hoping that this should've been done here in the Philippines, since this place is off the chain man! But I guess gettin' paperwork done there in Thailand to shoot the film is way way easier than the ever so slow process of gettin' stuff done here.

And with these bastards on the loose, you might as well forget about it.

The ultimate comic relief here of course is my boy Zach. I'm just amazed because a fat guy like him could be funny, and yet avoid antics that are usually associated with Jack Blacks and Chris Farleys.

In short, he doesn't have to snort coke and be stupid.

I dunno why Chris Cooper is associated with the funnies to begin with. I've got 2 theories. 1st is that the flick just needed a hot guy so they cast him. 2nd is that Chris has been long time friends with these dudes.

As for the other guys, I just didn't really notice 'em that much. Though I admit that I laughed at the dentist in some scenes.

Any guy with this tatt on his face is laughable in my book.

The big surprise here of course was Mike Tyson himself. He kinda' did a Manny Pacquiao by bustin' his vocal chops, no matter how off-key. It's still cute though, his singin' that is.

But his face? No!

I grade this flick 7/10.
+ .5 for Tyson doin' a Manny Pacquiao.

*images from pukmedia.com, http://1.bp.blogspot.com, nypost.com, http://2.bp.blogspot.com, vanishingtattoo.com

Captain America(The First Avenger)

2011-08-19T20:48:00.000-07:00

When Captain America throws his mighty shield, well, it returns. Pretty cool eh? Kiddin' aside, this flick met many of my expectations.

One of these expectations was Captain America's abilities. I knew when I was a kid(around 2nd Grade) that he was no mutant, but he could do stuff that ordinary humans couldn't. And there he was, runnin' fast and jumpin' high and stuff.

All that stuff that Captain America does, you would know by playing Marvel Superheroes

Another expectation was Hugo Weaving's Red Skull portrayal. I knew that he could easily pull that stuff off!

I also expected The Red Skull to be noseless, just like any other skull.

I just didn't expect some inaccuracies when it came to WWII details. When it came to segregation, the blacks(or technically, the Afro-Americans) should have their own battalion or somethin'. But here in this flick, I caught a glimpse of a black dude training with the whites in boot camp.

A thorough lynching should be in place here.

Another inaccuracy was that Asian dude who said that he was "..from Fresno ace!". He shouldn't be there fighting in WWII for the Americans. He should be in those concentration camp-like thingies with the other Japs.

Since pictures of concentration camps would be inappropriate in this comedic review, here's Papa Smurf instead.

Another inaccuracy was of that guy who played Buck Compton in Band Of Brothers(my fave true war story TV series). He sported a mustache like Von Kaiser in Mike Tyson's Punch Out. Gen. Eisenhower would have that shaved in 0000 hrs, or in no time!

Wel what the heck?! This is a comic book adaptation anyway. To hell with historical accuracy! All I care about is the awesomeness of Captain America! He really kicked assholes!

I was also kinda' waitin' for this dude(Tommy Lee Jones) to get his ass kicked, which sadly didn't happen.

This gets an 8/10.
Minus .5 for Tommy Lee Jones not gettin' his as kicked.
Minus .5 for Chris Evans playin' two dudes in the same Marvel Universe.

As you can remember, this motherf*cker also played The Human Torch. The greedy bastard!

Overall rating is 7/10

*images from 2.bp.blogspot.com, 4.bp.blogspot.com, 2d-x.com, freewebs.com, 1.bp.blogspot.com, fastfatburning.org, labyrinthfilm.com

Cowboys And Aliens

2011-08-13T04:28:00.000-07:00

At last, another one of 'em originals!

Thanks in part to this duck!

Well at least I thought it was. Turns out Jon Favreau adapted it from a graphic novel.

Nowadays, Hollywood's just gettin' lazier and lazier when it gets down to comin' up with original scripts.

They even made an amusement park adaptation.

Which helped get this guy set for about 50 lifetimes.

So it's quite refreshin' to see a movie like this one. It's also very pleasing to once again see a way past his prime Han Solo smirking on the silver screen.

I think the last time that I saw him on screen was in Hollywood Homicide.

Otherwise, this dude did a cameo in 500 Days Of Summer.

Jake Lonergan(Daniel Craig) is the epitome of a cowboy! He's a cow-MAN!(no homo)

Even if he did a brokeback threesome with these two, any man would still be the gay one when compared to Lonergan.

I believe the indians in this movie made Lonergan drink mescaline which made him recover from his amnesia caused by the aliens.

But for some reason, this was what Craig saw. Though it wasn't shown in the movie.

As for Sam Rockwell, well a goody-two shoe'd bartender just doesn't appeal to me much.

7.5 is the rating for this flick.
Plus .5 for Harrison Ford just bein' there, acting like a true cowboy colonel!

*images from grouchoreviews.com, 25.media.tumblr.com, blog.allanellenberger.com, gifbin.com, whysoblu.com, filmofilia.com, bestmoviewebsites.com, land.allears.net, celebrific.com, thevine.com.au

Happyland

2011-08-08T18:52:00.000-07:00

Another 1 of 'em documentaries. Oh shoot! I forgot. This is a flick. I was just thinkin' that it would've been nicer for it to be a docu. No offense. The cinematography wasn't really top-flite. But I loved the actors!

My favorite of course was the Spanish priest who has the cute Tagalog accent. He's a missionary from Spain who came here a long time ago(I remember it was 50 years ago or something in the movie). He clearly notices the Pinoys' passion for basketball over football.

Or soccer for sissies.

He takes note of the most obvious factor, that Filipinos are just too small to be playing a big man's game.

Don't ask me how these cagers got to the olympics.

On the other hand, he mentions that Pinoys are quick and agile, and don't need height to excel in football, or somethin' to that effect. I actually thought about the exact same thing billions of years ago.

This shit only goes back to the millions.

That Filipinos(or "Philippinos" to some foreigners) are built for the sport. Look at Japan and Korea. We could easily hand their asses to 'em in MMA and boxing. But in football? We're just seedlings, and they're fuckin' sequoia redwoods! Or maybe just acacias, the Brazilians and Europeans are the redwoods. Dickwise though, we're redwoods, and they're bamboos! Or am I just speakin' for a few of us here?

Well anyway, even if this flick ain't perfect, it still did 1 good thing. And that was to spread the gospel of football. It had a heavy load of trivia in it. Like the fact that a Filipino who played for FC Barcelona holds the record for most goals scored in the Spanish League. I forgot the stats, but I did some Math and it came out that this dude scores a goal a game on average!

Even Messi couldn't do that shit!

Another trivia(which actually came from the director himself when he spoke to us after the show) was about Tondo, which was the movie's setting. It was about the football situation there. I thought that only Barotac Nuevo and some other hardcore football town or city had solid fanbases. I didn't know that in Tondo, you could easily create a football league comprising of at least 10 teams!

Take that, Philippine basketball!

The acting wasn't really Gawad Urian level. But I cried when the main protagonist wept towards the end because he remembered his teammate friend who ended up in prison. Any kind of acting that could move me into tears is a good kind of acting! I hope that most of his mainstream contemporaries could do that. You know, act good!

My grade for this flick is a 3 out of 10.
+1 for makin' me a crybaby towards the end.
+2 for spreading the gospel of football.
Overall rating, 6/10.

*images from profile.ak.fbcdn.net, upperninetysports.com, myspacecdn.com, libraryzone.wikispaces.com, topnews.in, i.ytimg.com

Rio

2011-08-08T18:00:00.000-07:00

This was just another fun, kiddie movie. Honestly, there was nothin' else to watch, so I chose this eye candy. Plus I plan on goin' to Brazil for the 2014 World Cup. This flick would show everything I need to know about Brazil!

Just like watchin' Slumdog Millionaire, which showed us everything we needed to know about India.

Anyway, this flick kinda' reminded me a li'l bit about Happy Feet. They were birds too. Hence the similarity.

Though Happy Feet didn't have this dude doin' voice-overs.

Hidden gem here is Tracy Morgan, who did the voice of the bulldog Luiz. Too bad he was only shown towards the climax of the movie, when they were about to go to the Rio Carnival.

This is a film that I could watch in 3D, but no thanks. I'd rather watch it on DVD. I give this a 4.5 out of 10.
-2 for choosing Will I Am.
+3 for including my boy Jamie Foxx.
-.5 for choosing Will I Am over a role that Jamie Foxx could've played better!

*images from poptower.com, millionaireacts.com, celebrity-sunglasses-finder.com

The King's Speech

2011-08-08T17:43:00.000-07:00

Colin Firth stuttered his way to an Oscar here. That's for sure! My Boy James Franco should have bagged best actor if you ask me.

Not necessarily(hi-way) robbery, but you get the picture.

Well in all fairview(fairness), Mr. Firth here stuttered excellently. He should be knighted for his stuttering exploits. Seems like he did a lot of research on the different types of stuttering and stammering. Geoffrey Rush couldn't have stammered better.

It would be an exaggeration.

I really wanted to bitchslap Colin. or whoever that Duke is playin', when he was bein' furious because of his handicap. Lionel Logue(Rush), a speech therapist was trying his best to help him overcome his speech impairment, and yet here he was bein' such a dick about it.

Dick!

An overall 4.5 outta 10 because I got sleepy durin' certain parts.
(+2) because of the only 2 bright spots in this film(for me that is), which were Geoffrey Rush, and Helena Bonham Carter.

*images from ridelust.com, umnet.com, http://walmerconvenience.files.wordpress.com

Temptation Island(2011)

2011-07-15T03:19:00.000-07:00

This was a remake from a 1980 cult classic, which was originally a Fox TV series(thanks Google!). I believe I wasn't one of the cult though.

T.I. fans, headed by their cult leader.

I didn't even know who the actresses were in the original.

I was thinkin' that she might be one of 'em, but she ain't.

This flick was just total nonsense. The plot just revolved around a bunch of people gettin' stuck on a desert island(in Pagudpod?), starving, hallucinating, and havin' sex. There was even this editing glitch wherein the Manila Sunshine(a shampoo brand or sunblock, whatever...) Model Search promoter or somethin'(an elderly lady in the film named Mrs. Syjuco, who I believe was one of the original cast) went up to the catwalk to do some announcements. Then the next shot showed her once again seated beside the catwalk. Now WTF GMA editing crew?! You guys can do better than that!

My favorite actress was of course, Ruffa Mae Quinto. She was the comic relief and brought life to an otherwise dull remake.

Without her, this film's a bust.

Marian isn't just a pretty face. I didn't know she could be wacky too. Which is absolutely a turn-on for men like me. Her actions could be extremely unrefined. Not suitable for a woman with her looks. But she's able to pull it off! I'm not turned on by her "palengkera" voice though. Like an elderly woman shouting out stuff that she sells.

Like Echo, Marian was also originally discovered in the marketplace.

Solenn is a traitor. I didn't have the hots for her, at all! But as the movie went along, she seemed to transform into something like a gummy bear, somethin' yummy. Or something of that sort.

Solenn is actually part Hebrew, and could trace her roots back to Judas Iscariot himself.

Heart Evangelista shouldn't be in the roster at all. She ain't sexy. And Lovi Poe? I can't say anything because there's really nothin'. They could've just swapped someone like Rhiann Ramos and some other "Star Struck chick" in their places.

There you go.

This movie really wasn't anything except for a few laughs. 4/10 for me.

*images from williambranhamhomepage.org, dahandahanlang.com, http://3.bp.blogspot.com, http://3.bp.blogspot.com, http://1.bp.blogspot.com, http://stbrigidccd.com

Banlieu 13(Ultimatum)

2011-07-02T01:30:00.000-07:00

More or less the same deal as its predecessor. Guns, fighting, and parkour were pretty much the same too here in this flick. But I think that the fighting here looked a wee bit more polished. That's just my 2 cents though. The parkour still looked spectacular.

Parkour.

This one had a different plot though. Instead of the whole district bein' controlled by a single entity(which was Taja in part 1), this one had several gangs controllin' the district.

Like this, but multi-racial.

Damien and Leito were still rad. Though Leito looked a tad bit chubbier. But if it's any consolation to the guy, it's that only his face seems to have a fatter ass than before.

The smallest loser.

Now you know how this ends. Everybody wins(except for the bad guys of course).

The police are supposed to be the good guys, right?

Everybody's happy. Blah blah blah.

7 out of 10 overall.
Minus .5 for not havin' more than enough parkour to entertain me.

*images from sinema31.com, scifi-movies.com, 2.bp.blogspot.com, sidewalkstv.com, static2.dmcdn.net

127 Hours

2011-07-01T19:45:00.000-07:00

Aron Ralston is the real deal. In fact, Aron Ralston is Iron Man! All the previous Iron Man competition winners couldn't hold a candle to this dude. Physical endurance, mental toughness, guts. Whatever! Name it, Ralston has it.

THE Aron Ralston.

It's no surprise that James Franco got a nomination for this flick because he really did pull off an amazing performance.

Colin Firth's stuttering shenanigans ain't worth shit.

I liked how he lightened up the mood even if he was in a life-and-death situation.

Any situation with Scooby-fuckin'-Doo in it would definitely be lighter.

Even if he was drinkin' his own piss, he still likened it to drinkin' a Slurpee, which made me snicker a bit. Cool dude.

Mountain Dew, Blue John Canyon flavor.

I was just thinkin' that if this had happened in the future, he wouldn't have severed his arm. With GPS in everyone's cellphones(and brains probably), people could have easily tracked him down. Too bad not all cellphones have it.

Damn cellphones!!

It's funny to think that some moviegoers actually fainted while watchin' this flick.

Anemia could also play a factor.

This gets a 7 out of 10,
(+1) because it' James Franco.
(+.5) because of Danny Boyle's weirdness.
And another (+.5) because of Ralston's bad-assery!

*images from getridofstuffs.com, w-cellphones.com, lib.store.yahoo.net, graphicnovelreporter.com, screencrave.frsucrave.netdna-cdn.com, historyguy.com

21

2011-05-10T06:50:00.000-07:00

21 is literally about black jack. I used to play this back in the day, but all I could play right now is tong-its.

It's a Filipino rummy card game.

It was even made into a movie here.

Somehow, this is the only movie Google shows me when I search for the Tong-Its movie.

The main character Ben(Jim Sturgess) was supposed to play a nerdy dude in this flick. But he really looked like a hunky jock if you ask me(no homo). The dude wasn't even wearin' glasses just to throw us off a bit.

It's the glasses.

I can't remember David Spade bein' more of a dick than in this movie. Makes me want to strangle him. But you know what? An actor's dickish(if that's even a word) behavior that pisses me off is a true sign of great acting. If I ain't affected by your acting douchebaggery, then you suck, you talentless fuck!

Not pictured: Talent.

Lawrence Fishburne, as usual, just has Morpheusy aura to him while doin' his role as Cole Williams. He also acted like a dick in the end by confiscating all of Ben's winnings for his retirement pay.

Dick.

Kate Bosworth can do nothin' more than be a smart blonde. If there was one, it's her. In the movie only that is. I don't know if she has true-to-life Hollywood wits.

Like her 154 IQ perhaps?

The ending just had that feel-good vibe to it in that the protagonist had it made by livin' out the American dream.

A Jai-Ho would have been more suitable.

6.5 outta 10 overall.

(-1)for not doin' the Jai-Ho.

(+.5)for David Spade's dickery

images from: http://chandrakantha.com; http://latestpakistaninews.com, janetcharltonshollywood.com, http://images.wikia.com, http://globalnerdy.com, http://i182.photobucket.com, http://i614.photobucket.com

Rosario

2011-05-10T05:56:00.000-07:00

It's kinda' weird to see Dolphy here in Rosario(a 2010 Metro Manila Film Festival entry) because he's Father Jejemon(another one of 'em entries). Is the Phillipine movie industry that short of old actors who could pull this off without bein' the main character in another entry?

"No. I just like to get any movie role that comes my way, so give me the damn script!"

Rosario(Jenelyn Mercado) is the typical Fil-Am. She's a fuckin' gamer, and is not hesitant in mixing it up with the boys. It's funny that bein' guilty of adultery durin' the those times(American occupation era) merits a trip to Hong Kong.

Lucky for her she wasn't in Iran.

I believe Dennis Trillo's character won(or at least nominated) in the MMFF for best costume or somethin'.

Can't believe his outfit has outdone Agimat and Enteng Kabisote's more elaborate costumes.

Automatic nominee.

And I almost failed to mention that Philip Salvador's mustache doesn't look real! The fucker should have just grown his own hair.

Definitely fits in his budget.

This flick should have won the 2010 MMFF because of the simple reason that all other entries were crap!

The current state of Philippine cinema.

But even if this was my bet to win it all this year, I only give this film a 5.5.

images from: http://snarkerati.com; http://static.guim.co.uk; http://myshitpile.com; hmcboston.com, movieprop.com, http://1.bp.blogspot.com

Sucker Punch

2011-05-10T05:17:00.000-07:00

Awesome movie! Critics didn't like it, but I don't give a flying-knee'd fuck!

Tell that to my face, and you'll be receivin' one of these.

I admit that the plot's a li'l bit shallow, but who fuckin' cares?! It's all about the eye candy for me baby!

No sugar added.

Abbie COrnish(a.k.a. "Sweet Pea" is hot hot hot! I didn't realize she was this hot.

Not a single person realized it either.

Rocket was just OK. I bet she's hot in person. But she just wasn't my type as compared to the other sucker chicks on display. Though her fighting moves looked the most legit among the four of 'em.

Vanessa Hudgens was a pleasant surprise when the 1st scene which included her came up. Besides the fact that she looked sluttier than usual, she also looked whoringly beautiful.

Not pictured: Fishnet stockings.

Jamie Chung, I honestly believe, was chosen for this flick just to complete the racial line-up. They didn't need to include a black woman because they needed to add some exotic flavor to the set of protagonists. They don't need to add a hot chick of Arab descent because seriously, fuck terrorists!

Fuck terrorists? Hell Yeah!

Now Vanessa Hudgens is also Asian, but she's only half Asian(her mom's a Filipina). Plus she looks more like a Latina chick, so they went full-Asian by getting Chung.

Half Asians still any time o' day sir!

Emily Browning(Baby Doll) sure has matured a lot since her A Series Of Unfortunate Events days. There's no denying that this woman's got talent! Besides coverin' Sweet Dreams..., she also sang a couple of tracks for the movie's soundtrack. Without a single doubt, her talents were exploited 100%.

Emily Browning during the shoot.

Speaking of the soundtrack, my favorite was this Beatle cover version of Tomorrow Never Knows by some lady. It sounded just a wee bit more futuristic than the original version. But the pulsating drumbeats were virtually the same.

I rate this movie 6.5 outta 10.
Plus .5 for the excellent Beatle cover.
Plus .5 because Emily Browning looks so cute.
Plus .5 because I just discovered how hot Abbie Cornish is.
And another .5 because Ms. Hudgens looks like a whore!
Overall rating-8.5 outta 10

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The Fighter

2011-04-19T03:53:00.000-07:00

Hands down, Christian Bale is the best goddamn actor of his generation. I could say it's Heath Ledger or somethin', but the dude's dead!

R.I.P. homie!

Now you could pit my boy Bale against any would-be pretender, but this guy seems to method act more than Daniel Day Lewis does on dickhead mode.

Well not exactly crystal meth, but what the hell?!?

When Mark Wahlberg mentioned that Manny Pacquiao was also a factor that made him play Micky Ward, I kinda' half-expected him to bust some Pacquiao moves.

Without busting a single move.

What we saw was far from it. Like a washed-up Buster Douglas perhaps?

Washed-up Mike Tyson sounds better.

Too bad Marky-Mark didn't take his method acting cue from Mr. Bale. I believe he didn't put in any real effort in cutting weight to get that welterweight look.

Does this look like 147 to you? Hell no!

At least Christian Bale knows how to have the body type of a crack addict.

Crack could also help you cut to lightweight.

As far as biopics go, this one did the character justice, even if I haven't read much about Micky Ward. Though his name definitely rings a bell, even if I haven't been closely followin' the boxing scene for the last decade. I'm just not that big of a fan.

This gets an 8.5 outta 10 just because Christian Bale's in it.

And pretty much all of Nolan's Batmen get at least an 8.5.

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Easy-A

2011-04-19T02:39:00.000-07:00

Honestly, even if I watched the whole Easy-A movie, I still don't know what the fuck easy-A means, or where does it come into this movie(nice ass, easy ass is all I could think of). I wish I could tap Emma Stone's easy-ass while stoned!

Come on, she dares you to.

Good for Emma to bag her first lead role. I guess we should thank Superbad and Zombieland for givin' us the opportunity to get a sneak preview of her[Emma and Jonah Hill in Superbad-"or we could thank Jules' 'family jules(jewels)' for that"]. I honestly do hope that this would be the first of many lead roles to showcase those family jewels.

Um, may we see those alleged "family jewels"?

I wasn't really laughin' out loud(LOL-ing) the whole time the movie was bein' played. Though I kinda' snickered when it came to some parts of the flick. Good old-fashioned American humor was at play it means. Therefore this garners a 5.5. That's because I laughed, and Emma's hot!

Does this mean that Fantastic 4 automatically gets a 10?

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UFC 128

2011-03-24T03:53:00.000-07:00

Just watched the replay, and I should say the main event was just as impressive as when I watched the PPV for the first time. Anyway, let's go with the other fights first(which I really don't give a fuck about).

Mirko "Cro Cop" Filipovic VS Brendan "The Hybrid" Schaub
Cro Cop is just a legend waiting to be turned into a trophy by those young up-and-comers. That's why you don't see the fear in Schaub's eyes, the same fear that Cro Cop's opponents had back in Pride half a decade ago.

Believe it or not, Cro Cop was an Alpha Male back in the day.

The 1st round showed just that when Schaub just took it to Cro Cop. Good jabs and circling away from Cro Cop's left kick(Cro Cop's "money ball") also was a good strategy.

If you ate one of Cro Cop's money balls, you'd be dead!

Some GNP went on in the 2nd round, but Cro Cop escaped 'em all.

He took lessons from the master.

He even clipped Schaub with an elbow, which made Schaub's nose leak like a faucet.

Not pictured: Vampire below with mouth open.

In the end, Cro Cop got caught with a straight right and went down like a sack of potatoes.

"Timber!"

Big win for Schaub! Nice trophy on his fight resume.

Can you guess which head is Cro Cop's?

Nate "The Great" Marquardt VS Dan Miller
Yoshihiro "Sexyama" Akiyama was supposed to be Nate's opponent, but pulled out the last minute because of the recent Japan earthquake. Dan Miller ends up bein' the last minute replacement.

Miller will even fight Godzilla last minute if needed.

Nate's sloppiness in the 1st round almost got him caught in a guillotine. Though his brute strength allows him to slip free and he proceeds to dish out some elbows and GNP which Dan obligingly eats.

In the 2nd round, we see Nate opening it up with a flying knee, but gets taken down again. Nate's shenanigans almost ended in him gettin' guillotined again.

Maybe he really wants the real thing.

Miller gets GNP'd again in the final frame. A cut appears above Miller's left eye. Nate ends up gettin' the nod from the judges. Honestly, this fight was a li'l boring for me.

Kamal "Prince Of Persia" Shalorus VS Jim Miller
Once the opening bell rang, these 2 fighters came stormin' out the gates and started punching each other out like crazy. Of course, since Shalorus ain't American, I was assuming another U-S-A chant would ensue. And it did.

Shalorus ain't no Gyllen-ho either.

Shalorus displays an iron chin by eating a Jim Miller left kick that would have felled any mortal.

I didn't know that these were allowed in the octagon.

In the beginning of the 2nd round, Shalorus showed us his wrestling mettle by taking down Jim. The amazin' thing was that Jim Miller attempted to do a flyin' triangle while fallin' down! Amazin'!

Closest thing I've seen to that was Chonan's flying heel hook on The Spider.

After a quick scramble, Jim ended up with a body triangle on Shalorus and proceeded to submit him via RNC(rear naked choke). Wily move I should say. But everytime Shalorus almost gets choked, he always manages to snake out, showin' us his wiliness as well.

Cut from the same stone.

They open the final stanza exchangin' blows, with Miller gettin' the better of the exchanges due to bein' more fluid than Shalorus' robotic movements. After a solid uppercut by Miller, he then bull-rushes in with a knee that brings Shalorus down, ending in some vicious GNP, and a TKO.

I'm thinkin' Miller might be a win or 2 away from a lightweight title shot.

Urijah "The California KId" Faber VS Eddie Wineland
2 WEC outcasts, err, by-products end up fighting for the 1st time in the octagon for this PPV. On Paper, Faber has the better wrestling. But he got taken down in the 1st round by Wineland quite surprisingly.

In the 2nd roud, Faber reminded us why he was the former WEC featherweight champ. He displayed and used his explosiveness to get multiple takedowns. He even picks Wineland up from inside his guard and slams him down, Rampage style. A nasty Faber habit I should say. Wineland just has no answers for Faber's onslaught.

The 3rd round was just a wash-rinse-repeat of the 2nd. UD(unanimous decision) win by Faber. Boo! I was expecting a finish, nothin' less!

Mauricio "Shogun" Rua VS Jon "Bones" Jones
This was the only fight that mattered to me for this PPV. I've been ridin' on the Bones hype train for as far as I can remember. And it's really satisfyin' for me to see him get to the top. I don't know but I could just spot talent from a million light years away.

That's why I easily spotted this guy.

The opening of the first round just showed flyin' knees and spinning heel kicks galore!

Exactly what a black Bruce Lee in an octagon would do.

As I've expected, it was only a matter of time before Shogun was put to the mat by Bones. Hellbows were delivered with a Swiss watchmaker's precision. Shogun actually got to stand up again, but not without gettin' sucker punched and receivin' a knee to the ribcage which got Shogun all wobbly.

Bones' arsenal was in full display in the 2nd. Spinning back elbows and Superman punches were the norm.

Even Clark Kent can't do that shit!

Bones was also doin' side and front kicks.

The only other guy on the planet who does such things.

When he got bored with the stand up, he used his superior wrestling to deliver some vicious GNP. I don't remember Rua bleedin', but he was this time. Before the horn sounded to end the round, Bones was crushing Rua on the ground, then transitioned into a leg-lock position, then did a spinning back fist while sittin' on top of Rua, just for good measure(the motherfucker never ceases to amaze me).

The 3rd was the end of Rua's LHW reign. After blasting Rua with a couple of shots, a devastating knee sends him crumpling to the canvas. Another TKO on Bones' resume. Bones is just A-MAZE-IN'!

*images from static.technorati.com, twilightnewssite.com, nndb.com, samruby.com, venturebeat.com, cagedinsider.com, threadforthought.net, andpop.com, 1.bp.blogspot.com, images.wikia.com, mountainstateland.com, fiftysixdelux.com, farm4.static.flickr.com, barzilai.org, skull.net, britannica.com, themmanews.com

NBA All-Star 2011

2011-02-22T02:42:00.000-08:00

This annual roadshow used to be a must-see spectacle for me. It's fun to watch all-stars and superstars go at it once in a while. But for no apparent reason, I didn't have any real interest in the all-star game itself, and this started about 5 years ago or somethin'.

Or the fact that he's retired could be that certain "no apparent reason".

The rookie-sophomore game(I wanna predict who the league's potential superstars would be) and the slam dunk contest are the only things that make me watch this spectacle nowadays. You could throw in the 3-point contest too if you want, but it's really the slam dunk contest that makes me tick! Too bad I was too young to appreciate it when Jordan and Dominique were goin' at it back in the day.

Ignorance is bliss.

In all fairness, this year's contest was one of the more entertaining ones to come along in recent years. The entertainment and creativity were up a notch, with all the props and stuff.. Everyone was pushing the envelope to the limit.

I guess you could thank(or blame) this guy.

We could therefore conclude that Vince Carter is the best dunker of 'em all because he didn't need any props or any of that shit just to be entertaining.

Floating in the air is entertainment enough for mere mortals like us.

Without further ado, this was sorta' what transpired in this year's competition...

FIRST ROUND

Demar Derozan - He had Darryl "Chocolate Thunder" doin' the intro for him. This year's competition had dunk coaches or somethin', that's why. They called the first dunk the "East Bay Area Funk Remix".

This dude does remixes way better.

Derozan's Toronto Raptor teammate(I'm guessin' it was Amir Johnson, but what the fuck was he doin' there? He ain't no all-star!) bounced the ball off of the backboard support and he caught it in mid-air and did an in-between the legs dunk. Just like what his predecessors Isaiah Rider and Kobe Bryant did.

A li'l somethin' like this, but not quite like it.

Serge Ibaka - This Congolese wasn't to be outdone by his American counterparts. He brought out an African contingent or somethin'(my guess is that they're just hired Americans) carryin' banners of African colors just to hype up the crowd before proceeding to take off from the free throw line. Now you might be thinkin' that Dr. J, MJ and Brent Barry did the same thing.But they were all steppin' on the free throw line, one way or another. Ibaka's toe was behind the line.

Cheater!

Blake Griffin - The Blake Show was coached by the loud-mouthed Kenny Smith. But this loud-mouth really had no hand in Blake's dunks. Blake's a rim-rattling sensation all by his lonesome. Smith's job is to hype the crowd while talkin' trash. And he was pretty good at it too.

Blake missed the 1st few attempts, but proceeded to complete his 360-degree dunk with the ball seeming to come from behind his head. Like a 360-degree "Gorilla Dunk".

A normal "Gorilla Dunk".

Javale McGee - C-Webb was McGee's coach, and he gave props to Dwight Howard(who was a guest commentator) because he was the first slam dunk contestant who brought in another NBA rim to dunk on.

Remember the 12-foot rim dunk?

This time, McGee just did 10 feet, but there were 2 rims, side-by-side, and he used 2 balls. What he did was he ran from the left wing, bounced one of the balls off the first backboard, dunked the ball he was carryin' in the left rim while he caught the other ball that he tossed in mid-air with his right, and threw it down on the other rim. He actually got a perfect 10 from all 5 judges for that. And that was after missin' the 1st few attempts too!

SECOND ROUND

Derozan - His 2nd dunk was dubbed "The Show Stopper" by Dawkins. It was kinda' like a side-tomahawk comin' from the right baseline, then pulling the ball from underneath and dunkin' it on the left side with authority. Quite original. The name "Show Stopper" though, was not.

C'mon Choco Thunder. You've come up with many an original nickname, but none for this?! I call bullshit!

Ibaka - Ibaka's 2nd dunk was quite amusin'. It involced a cute Asian kid with a bad haircut(a faux-hawk with lightning streaks on the side) losing his teddy bear.

Have you seen my childhood?

Turned out that the kid's stuffed toy was hangin' at the rim via a short horizontal pole and Ibaka got it usin' his mouth , then threw the rock down the rim.

Serge Ibaka during younger days.

Griffin - His 2nd dunk was just an assist by Baron Davis off the sideboard, which ended in a thunderous tomahawk jam. This was enough for him to advance to the finals.

A couple million fan votes also helped.

McGee - He had no props this time. He just ran from the left baseline, took off then dunked it while doin' a rock-a-bye baby on the ball while takin' off, then dunked it on the other side of the rim while appearing to be fadin' away. A fade away dunk for all you jokers out there! You can't use it as a joke this time because it's been done, smart-asses! He didn't score a perfect 50 this time, but still he advances to what I call the "championship rounds".

CHAMPIONSHIP ROUND(FIRST)

Griffin - Nothin' outta' the box this time. All he did was a Vinsanity elbow dunk.

Griffin's was just a li'l longer hangin on the rim.

McGee - If he did 2 balls earlier, this time he did 3. The other extra ball, which was a WNBA ball, was given by McGee's mom(who was a former WNBA player herself), was assisted by 2010 #1 draft pick John Wall. His mom even kissed cheeks with the judges before her son dunked.

Bribery and seduction really won't work in contests like these.

CHAMPIONSHIP ROUND(FINAL)

Griffin - The NBA's official car, which was a KIA somethin', was driven onto the court for Griffin to jump on.

Not this Kia.

Well he just jumped over the hood to be more specific while Baron, who was inside the car(peeping through the sun roof) threw a pass at him. All of this was happenin' while some California choir sang R.Kelly's "I Believe I Can Fly".

Without the peein' of course.

McGee - Javale looks like he already gave up because there were no props this time. He managed to do a Vince Carter reverse 360 dunk, but for some reason, the refs and judges ruled it a non-dunk. So he just alley-ooped the ball to himself off the backboard on 1 side, caught the ball on the other side of the rim, and then dunked it like a donut!

Waving this and surrendering would have been easier.

And the Sprite Slam Dunk Champion is none other than the Blake Show! See you folks again next year!

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Montiel VS Donaire

2011-02-21T05:32:00.000-08:00

Not an actual poster.

Nonito Donaire was the man last weekend, which was dubbed boxing's first big weekend of 2011. Of course, I'm a main event guy when it comes to boxing. Unfortunately, the main event lasted only 2 rounds, similar to the PacMan-Hatton fight. It was also eerily similar to how it ended, with both fighters sleeping on the canvas. Well, let's proceed with the undercard.

THE UNDERCARD

Mike Alvarado VS Dean Harrison

The night started with Alvarado stopping the Englishman dead in his tracks(in his stool actually) in 4 rounds. Harrison was just kept on his stool before the 5th round started. I don't know what's next for these guys. All I know is that Alvarado climbs up and Harrison slides down the jr. welterweight ranks.

This could determine your contender status.

Yordenis Ugas VS Carlos Musquez

The Cuban former Olympic Bronze Medalist at the 2008 Beijing Games disposed Musquez because of his superior talent and counterpunching. The only thing was that his talent didn't prevent him from being hurt from a Musquez shot in the opening stanza. Ugas has great anticipation and timing, but his glass chin could be an Achilles tendon in the long run, so I think he won't make it to greatness. That's just my 2 cents though.

It's not art, it's a liability!

Mark Melligen VS Gabriel Martinez

Our very own Mark Melligen slugged it out in this interesting 10-round scrap to see who would take the next step towards legitimate contention. Melligen seemed to be the flashier fighter, which helped him(I think) in winning by a wide gap in the scorecards.

Mickey Bey VS Jose Hernandez

Tough journeyman Hernandez shook Bey up a bit in the beginning, though Bey seemed to befuddle Hernandez after the shake-up by using ripping combos and slick defensive maneuvers. But this wasn't enough. Hernandez is a tough nut to crack, so he ended up blemishing Bey's perfect 16-0 record.

THE MAIN CARD

Mike Jones VS Jesus Soto-Karass

This is technically a rematch from 2010. I myself haven't watched the1st fight . But from the looks of it, Soto-Karass seemed to be a rugged motherfucker. Jones opened the round by sticking and moving, landing a jab here and there. After a couple of rounds and a couple of exchanges, Soto-Karass came out with a cut over his left eye. But that didn't stop Soto-Karass from bringing the action to Jones.

This was what Soto-Karass did when he saw his own blood.

Though this was not enough because Jones just fought cautiously, saving his most vicious barrages towards the last 3 rounds to cruise to a unanimous decision victory.

With the crowd booing of course.

Nonito "The Filipino Flash" Donaire VS Fernando Montiel

I pity the fans who paid good money to see this live. It just ended in the secound round, with Montiel twitching like an epileptic via a nasty left hook to the temple. The only weird thing was that he got to stand up, and the stupid ref still let the fighters roll! But after 2 more punches, the ref realized his stupidity and stepped in to stop the contest.

I myself am no expert in refereeing. But if Montiel was twitching like that scene in the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre where the dude gets smashed with a meat cleaver, then clearly the fight has to end.

It's contagious.

It was amazing that Montiel still stood up like it was morning time. But it was clear that his eyes were somewhere else.

Montiel: Artist's impression

This clearly cements Donaire's status as a top-5 pound-for-pound guy. Or top-4 even.

With this guy basically being a non-entity right now.

The Philippines has a bright future with this dude. Next stop, Manny-Mosley!

*images from .friedpost.com, 1.bp.blogspot.com, /i67.photobucket.com, farm4.static.flickr.com, invertedgarden.com, clevelandleader.com, webdesign.org, /im.rediff.com,

UFC 126(Silva VS Belfort)

2011-02-08T04:17:00.000-08:00

Antonio Banuelos VS Miguel Torres

This looked like a really lopsided match to begin with. First off, I know virtually nothin' about Banuelos, save for the fact that he's a Hawaiian Kempo practitioner and sparring partner of the legendary Iceman, Chuck Liddell. On the other hand, Torres used to be near the top of everyone's pound-for-pound list, and was also the former WEC bantamweight champ. And that was just less than 2 years ago!

Secondly, Torres stands at 5'9 while Banuelos is like what, 5'3?

Not exactly a David & Goliath affair, but kinda' close.

The reach advantage at 13cm was ridiculous if you were watching Torres working from the outside. Banuelos had a snowflake's chance in hell to close that distance. Especially with an opponent of Miguel Torres' caliber.

The percentage of Banuelos' chances in winning the exchanges.

And this was what pretty much happened throughout the entire match. There were some bright spots for Banuelos though, where he was clippin' Torres' face when he caught him in one of his flurries towards the end of the second.

This wasn't enough though. For Banuelos just turned into Torres' punching bag on the way to a unanimous decision win for Torres.

Sort of what this girl was to Chris Brown back in the day.

His UFC debut was kinda' disappointing though. If you've watched Torres' previous fights, you would clearly see why he used to be in the top 2 or 3 in MMA's pound-for-pound listings.

Carlos Eduardo Rocha VS Jake "The Juggernaut" Ellenberger

Rocha's walkout music("Ice Ice Baby") definitely adds points to my book! I knew The Juggernaut was a beast so I knew the winner even before the fighters were intro'd.

Mr. Ellenberger

But this fight also opened my eyes to what Rocha can do to you on the ground.

He could turn you into this...

I honestly consider Rocha a ground wizard because of the way he easily controlled The Juggernaut. And he was off his back too! As a matter of fact, he almost caught Jake in a kimura that suddenly transitioned into an americana or straight arm bar or somethin' before the horn sounded. Rocha's ground game is that sick! I ain't hypin' it. It really is!

In the beginning of the second, we find Rocha turtling up and eatin' some shots. Then the fight suddenly turned into a kickboxing match all the way 'til the end of the round, which was punctuated by an Ellenberger takedown.

If I only knew that it was gonna' be kickboxing, I should have watched this guy instead.

Despite the takedown, Rocha was still on the offensive as he seemed to be slippin' in a triangle choke when the horn ended. Another testament to his ground wizardry.

Will come up with any reason just to get Gandalf in here.

The 3rd round was more or less The Juggernaut's because he controlled Rocha by gettin' a couple of takedowns in. Ellenber wins via split decision.

Ryan "Darth" Bader VS Jon "Bones" Jones

This fight has extremely heavy implications. Whoever wins automatically vaults himself into the Top 5 of the light-heavyweight division, closer to that title shot. Lucky for these fuckers because Rashad Evans, the guy who's supposed to fight current LHW champ Mauricio "Shogun" Rua for the title, just got injured during training. That means an automatic ticket to the title!

Jones is definitely Bader's most dangerous opponent to date, and vice-versa. To some, Jon Jones is the 2nd coming of Christ. This fight only cemented that notion.

Jon Jones. Semitic version.

The first round really showed how strong Jesus, err, Jon Jones was. Bader is one strong animal. But all his decorated wrestling credentials, all that NCAA Division I wrestling titles and crap, were worth shit to Jones. He was literally outgrappled.

You won't faze Bones even with a WWE credential.

I've never seen Darth Bader outgrappled, ever! There even was this TD attempt where Jones just effortlessly waived off Bader's shot.

The 2nd round was the beginning of the end for Darth Bader. I saw Bones deliver a flying elbow. A fuckin' flyin' elbow! Ridic! After controllin' Bader on the ground again, Jones pulled off a guillotine when they got tangled on the mat. Another submission victory for Bones. I told 'ya Jesus has arrived!

Behold motherfuckers, Jonny Bones!

Forrest Griffin VS Rich "Ace" Franklin

My pesky mom was too irritating for she wanted to watch Party Pilipinas instead of this once in a lifetime pay-per-view! I gave her what she wanted, and in exchange, got her to agree that I would be watching the main event. Good thing the fight lasted 3 rounds, enough time to feed my mom's insatiable appetite for noontime shows.

I mean, c'mon! Who watches this shit?!?

The bottom line is that I didn't watch this and honestly, I don't give a fuck who won.

Vitor "The Phenom" Belfort VS Anderson "The Spider" Silva

Now this is what the fuck I was talkin' about for quite some time now! Brazilian VS Brazilian. Former champ VS champ. Fastest hands in the division VS probably the fastest hands in the entire sport. Whichever way you put it, I only see Agent Smith VS Neo in this showdown. Vitor is Smith, who has already been there and done that. While Anderson, as we all know, is Neo to the UFC's matrix.

Anderson's trainer.

I've been a Vitor fan since I can remember, so I know how fast and powerful The Phenom's hands are. That's why the hopes of someone who would topple The Spider off his throne was all gone when he ate a Silva front kick, and was knocked out! I mean, who gets KO'd by a front kick?!? Unreal!

Just like this dude right here.

Now the question is, who the fuck is next? What now? Vitor was the most legit contender for the middleweight title. Almost all the previous title defenses that The Spider had were jokes! They're talkin' about a GSP superfight at a catchweight, which is totally fine with me for I'm a sucker for fights.

My type of fight.

But come on man. Anderson doesn't need to meet GSP at a catchweight. He actually needs to move the fuck up for fuck's sake!

But hey, we ain't sayin' Anderson can't cut weight.

Overall, a 9.5 outta 10 for this pay-per-view(which we technically didn't pay for). That's because of the flying elbow. And most especially, that sick front kick! And oh, just a li'l bit of trivia. Apparently, Steven Seagal taught(or perfected as Steven says) that front kick that Anderson did. Honestly, I ain't buyin' that crap!

What's that chord he's playin'?

*images from suyanqueiroz.files.wordpress.com, solarnavigator.net, www.kk.org, .arizonafoothillsmagazine.com, fattygalnomore.files.wordpress.com, thaindian.com, images.wikia.com, pollsb.com, mormontemples.com, filer.livinginperu.com, worshippingchristian.org, sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net, .nerdsonsports.com, breakingnewsweek.com, 4.bp.blogspot.com, summitmalibu.com, cache.boston.com

Tron

2011-02-05T18:39:00.000-08:00

Thanks to 3D technology for this flick would suck without it. Seriously, I watched this flick because I just wanna play around with my depth perception, and that's it! I ain't a huge fan of the original Tron movie anyway.

The plot seems to be as thin as the soup in Oliver Twist's gruel.

The plot.

I mean, how the fuck did the dad(Jeff Bridges) manage to page his long time friend while he was in the grid?!? As far as I can recall, they didn't bother explaining this bullcrap to us. I guess the director just assumed that we were all intelligent movie-goers. Well it's the wrong assumption because guess what, people are stupid!

Can't get any more stupid than this.

As for the cast, only Jeff Bridges was of the A-List variety. Though the lead role actor looked pretty familiar. Even the Asian-looking leading lady-program thingy wasn't hot enough.

As I've said earlier, the only thing that makes this flick tick was the fact that it was shot entirely in 3D. As you know, I'm addicted to eye candy so I can't say anything bad about how the film looks like because I like it, a lot!

Overall, this film merits a 6 out of a 10 because og the reasons stated above.

*images from gfxcomments.com, farm3.static.flickr.com

The Tourist

2011-02-02T22:06:00.000-08:00

After watching this movie, the name Alexander Pearce would never be the same again. I don't know how many times it was mentioned in this flick.

Another Pearce. Guy this time...

I wanted to watch The Green Hornet first. But as a Johnny Depp fan, I sure wouldn't want to miss this. I really didn't care about Angelina's curves. Kudos to those curves though. They blended in quite smoothly with the movie. No matter how much the camera shots were takin' emphasis on those curves, it still really didn't mean a thing.

Paul Bettany was put to good use in this one. Well actually, it was his natural accent that was used for good measure. He was from Scotland Yard in this flick.

Who were always put to shame by this guy.

Oops...

They're actually the same dude.

The shooting locations were picturesque. The aerial shots that is.

I wish they would shoot here too.

Breathtaking is the proper word for it. If the movie's quality depended on these aerial shots...

...then they could win themselves one of these.

The plot was kinda' stale to garner an Oscar though. Ex-Interpol/Scotland Yard agent goes rogue, then comes back to the good side to redeem herself and sorta' save the day and everything. The new twist here was Johnny Depp's character, Mr. Frank Tupelo. But for me, it's a flawed twist. Why you ask? Well, these spoilers on the next paragraph will show you.

This story kinda' revolved around Alexander Pearce(not that name again) who was like the banker/accountant of this certain English mob boss who always surrounds himself with Russian henchmen.

Russians, Russia's latest export.

Now Alexander was crazy enough to double-cross this mob boss, so he went into hiding with Elise Ward(Angelina Jolie) who was the undercover agent who went rogue.

Now somehow, Elise and Alexander got separated while they were hiding and Elise was supposed to meet him at this party. Now where is this all leading to you may ask?

Well it seems that Alexander had so much money that he did some major facial reconstruction to look like Johnny Depp. And he didn't tell Elise a single word about it 'til the end part.

Now tell me this. If Angelina flirted heavily(and even kissed) with Frank, then wouldn't Alexander be turned off by the fact that his girlfriend could easily fall in love with another guy the moment he turns his back? It's like your slutty girlfriend who you dump for the same obvious reasons.

I guess it's hard to dump your girlfriend if she's this hot.

All in all, 3.5 outta 10 due to the plot's gaping hole. 8 outta 10 for Depp's superb acting and Jolie's curves.

Curves, another one of Russia's major exports.

*images from londonparties.co.uk, manyhattyreturns.com, gaviano.files.wordpress.com, philippines.com.au, oscars.org, robertamsterdam.com, showbizgossips.com, i.cdn.turner.com

Saw(Final Chapter)

2011-02-02T19:55:00.000-08:00

[should've been posted ages ago...]

I should have watched Narnia for more eye candy.But since it's the shock factor that I'm looking for, then this was the obvious choice(Man I wouldn't even touch My Amnesia Girl with a 10 foot pole, there's always 50 First Dates or somethin' for that).

Honestly, I didn't watch a single Saw movie, so you might be wonderin' what the f**k I was doin' there? Well as I've said, I was lookin' for somethin' to jolt me up.

Should have bought myself one o' these...

And this flick didn't disappoint. So much blood and gore around that I thought I was watching The Meat Shop Channel if ever there was one.

The protagonist Gibson was pretty stupid to get killed by a machine gun that was being controlled by no one. A tough police dude should have just ducked when he saw the machine gun firin' off automatically to blow their heads off. But instead, he just stared into the machine gun's barrell like he was about to get a sneak-peek at Scarlett Johansson's pussy.

Oh no you don't. You didn't say the magic word!

The lady, who was the killer's wife or somethin'(clearly shows that I was not 100% focused on any storyline) looked like Brooke Shields who just turned granny. Unless she really is Brooke. I'm sure she ain't because I didn't see her name on the credits.

Brooke could do wonders for the granny-porn industry though.

And guess what, international rockstar Chester Bennington(vocalist for Linkin' Park) seems to love acting. He doesn't care if he just lands a small role. I guess he's just trying to collect as many under his actin' belt as possible, to make his Hollywood resume that much more impressive. Besides me seein' him in Cranked 2, he also made an appearance here. Too bad he died. Hope that he gets bigger roles next time.

A career in smoking might be possible too...

Overall, a B-movie scream fest at best. 4.5 outta 10.

An actual scream fest!

images from wetplanet.com, girlskickbutt.com, pornder.com, fc03.deviantart.net, rokkerrecords.com

UFC 125-Resolution

2011-01-15T23:06:00.000-08:00

An aptly named UFC event(Resolution) couldn't be more suitable to start the new year. Fireworks took place, and blood was spilled, just like the blood drippin' from the fingers of a stupid fool playin' with firecrackers. I thought that I should write about this because the PPV replay didn't cease to amaze me. Well, off to the (replayed) festivities!

Takanori "The Fireball Kid" Gomi VS Clay "The Carpenter" Guida

Clay already had this in the bag even before the fighters were introduced. Even if I'm Asian, my confidence in Gomi in this one is really next to none for I know that he would never be able to keep up with Clay's relentless pace. Add to that the fact that Clay has been on a tear lately, plus the fact that Gomi's career is on the downside(even at a relatively young fighting age of 31), and you'll know WTF I am talkin' about.

Guida's footwork and head movement really looked crazy ridiculous! He looked like an epileptic on steroids or somethin'. In fact, Guida's prancing around looked so crazy that Gomi didn't even know what to do with the fucker. I mean, he couldn't tag him cleanly. Guida's dancin' literally took Gomi off his timing and rhythm.

I guess Gomi was so confused with all the shit that was happenin' in the octagon that he got caught in a Joe Daddy guillotine while they were transitioning and shit. This clearly showed that Guida had better transitions on the ground. But for me, Guida will never be a true contender. He's just a solid gatekeeper for the UFC's lightweight division.

Nate Diaz VS Dong Hyun "Stun Gun" Kim

A truly salivating match-up(for match-up freaks like me). Judo VS Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, what more can you ask for?

Now if cockiness had a younger brother, it would be Nate Diaz. Well actually, Nate's elder bro Nick is also cocky as fuck! Well I guess that cockiness has lots of other siblings.

Cockiness' other brother from the same mom.

In this fight, you could clearly see that Stun Gun's one strong motherfucker.He's like in the Yushin Okami mold or somethin'. He kinda' even looks like Okami!

Stun Gun's Jap half-bro.

He's just Judo-trippin' and sweepin' Nate to the mat with relative ease. It was clearly demonstrated that Judo + brute strength wins over Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu + unorthodox striking(sprinkled with some cockiness) any time of the day.

Things started to get interesting though in the 3rd round. Stun Gun had no answer to Diaz's punches which were comin' all over the place at weird angles. It looked like the loping punches in an anime or sometin', and they were connecting!

Stun Gun could do nothing but cover up against the cage, like the CIA covers stuff up. In fact, Stun Gun was slowly fadin'. I could see his switch button about to turn off. He was actually saved by the bell. But it didn't do enough to sway the judges' unanimous decision. Stun Gun really owned Nate's sorry li'l punk ass the first 2 rounds.

Brandon "The Truth" Vera VS Thiago Silva

I'm sick and tired of Brandon Vera tellin' us that "I'm back!" and shit. Truth is that he never returned after his mismanagement issues. He used to terrorize the heavyweight division with his nasty finishes. He used to be the Jon Jones of the heavyweight division, full of serious upside. Now he's just a replica of what he used to be. Zero killer instinct, and quite hesitant to pull the trigger.

That's why I never believed a single word that he said during the pre-fight interview/trashtalk. His promised aggression was short-lived. After he tagged Silva a couple of times, he just got taken down easily and he was literally smothered on the ground. He couldn't get anything goin' from the bottom. It was clear who had the darker BJJ(or Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, it's really to bothersome to spell the whole thing out...) belt(Silva's a black belt while Vera's belt is brown, or purple, or whatever). Even with Vera's(used to be) Olympic-level wrestling, he was still taken down at will like a rag doll.

These dudes have better take-down defense.

And to add to Vera's misfortunes for the day, his nose got busted up and broken, in an Owen Wilson kinda' way. It was as crooked as a Manila Customs official!

Vera's nose could end up worse than this.

Thiago Silva wins via unanimous decision. Here's to hoping that his nose also gets broken when he faces the next light-heavy.

Brian "All American" Stann VS Chris "The Crippler" Leben

Stann's no slouch , but Leben ain't no gatekeeper either. For me, he's more of like a tester. If you beat him, you instantly would become a contender.

He also tested positive for steroids more than a year ago.

Stann is more of a technical boxer/striker with his straight punches while Leben's more of a brawler with his looping haymakers. Well even without the looping punches, Leben really likes to brawl, period! So it was amazing that it was Stann who baited Leben into a brawling match! Leben is known for his granite chin(remember him zombie-punching Akiyama?). So he just ate Stann's solid combos like wheaties for breakfast.

Breakfast of champions.

The problem is that a chin could only take so much. Every chin has its threshold. And Leben's had reached its (outer) limits. It could only take so much. But the thing was that Leben's one tough s.o.b.(just recall the zombie-punching)! If it was a lesser-chinned middleweight, the fight's over. But this was Leben folks. Referee Josh Rosenthal was stupid for not stopping the fight a bit earlier, but I guess he saw that it was Leben who was about to go out. So I guess he just gave him some leeway. But even though, repeated trauma to the head could be a recipe for insanity, even death!

It's the 1st time that I've seen Leben stopped in a fight since he welcomed Anderson Silva from Pride back in '06. It's a testament to Leben's toughness, so kudos to Stann for the stoppage!

Frankie "The Answer" Edgar VS Gray "The Bully" Maynard(the rematch)

I really didn't pay that much attention to their first fight. That's why I was wanting to take a closer look at this. Though I knew deep down inside my MMA guts that MAynard would win this one easily just like in their first encounter. How wrong I was.

Darth Vader didn't win in a Luke Skywalker rematch either.

I was thinkin' that Maynard would just bully Edgar all throughout the fight by using hs superior wrestling. But how soon I've forgotten that his opponent is who I call the Might Mouse of MMA(please see other articles in this shamelessly plugged blog... http://syd420.blogspot.com).

Frankie Edgar: Not an actual photo.

And he showed his Mighty Mouse mettle when he came back from bein' nearly TKO's twice(or thrice even) to literally dictating the fight by sticking and moving.

Lazarus also came back from the dead after bein' permanently KO'd by God.

In all my years watching fights, I've never seen anyone recover like what Edgar did. He was on rubber knees, but he absorbed all the punishment and just went through all the rounds. It's like the recovery of a freakin' video game character!

Even Spongebob can't absorb that much punishment.

Maynard was also kinda' stupid in not bein' able to finish Edgar in the first place. Instead of stickin' to what he was effectively doin' in the first round, he started to head-hunt. He was looking for that one KO punch to put Edgar away. But Edgar's too fast to avoid all that shit. He just avoided the clinch, and blitzed around while waiting to recover. Man he even took Maynard down! Now this in itself, is another Mighty Mouse move. Edgar is one of the few people who has successfully taken BJ Penn down. And he also took down Maynard, who's supposed to be bullyin' people with his wrestling.

Now due to Mighty Mouse's amazing prowess, the fight ended up a draw! Believe it or not!

Jack Palance should be the one sayin' that famous Ripley line.

They say that if you start the year right, it would end right. Well this PPV says it all about all the upcoming fights for the rest of the year. And we should better watch out for the next UFC PPV. Anderson SIlva-Vitor Belfort is a fight that if not watched, could be a mortal sin.

*images from hollywoodbackwash.com, tvverdict.com, 3.bp.blogspot.com, mortechcomputers.com, media.moddb.com, www.vm.ibm.com, .mma-extreme.com, solarnavigator.net, theshop.net, completemartialarts.com, cdn.bleacherreport.net

UFC 124

2010-12-27T04:18:00.000-08:00

John "Doomsday" Howard - Thiago "Pitbull" Alves
2 Strikers who like to stand and bang. For all I know, John Howard may be the only pure striker Thiago Alves has ever faced in the UFC. So far, he has been facing wrestlers. And they're top-flight wrestlers too at that like GSP, John Fitch and Matt Hughes.

Not these wrestlers.

This fight showed that precision striking always outclasses power-strikes, as you would clearly see in the main event. But if you would ask me, I would always pick the jazz bass over the precision bass. And just as I've predicted, whoever feels that his stand-up isn't working would decide to take it to the ground first. And Howard was that dude. He tried the take-downs 'till he was down on the judges scorecards.

Mac Danzig - Joe "Daddy" Stevenson
These guys should have been scrapped from the UFC roster a couple of events ago. With a win-loss record similar to the Los Angeles Clippers, who would not want to give 'em the pink slip, right?

Well apparently, Dana White wants his fighters goin' down swingin'. Which was what Joe Daddy was doin' when he got knoced the fuck out by a Danzig hook, while backpedaling! Chuck Liddell lives!

Charles Oliveira - Jim Miller
We all knew that this was gonna be MIller time. Apparently, Oliveira didn't get the memo.

Charles should have the superior grappling(w/that kinda' last name, he better be a blackbelt!). But what happened was pretty bizaare. After a hurried scramblefest, the animal known as Jim Miller got a hold of Oliveira's leg and presto! We got to relive Mir-Lesnar I all over again(remember the kneebar?)!

Matt Riddle - Sean Pierson
If there was a robbery during this event, this was it. I don't know why Matt Riddle always ends up in the undercard. Man this guy eats punches in bunches for lunch while smilin' and will gobble a head kick for dessert and still hook you up with her hot sister(if he had one) after the program. He's that type of fighter! But still I don't know why he was fighting this Pierson guy(sorry, can't remember where I watched this dude) in an undercard bout. Another one of 'em Joe Silva mystery match-ups.

It was plain to see that Pierson was connecting more solidly. Riddle even ate a hook to the jaw while doin' a half-hearted flying knee, therefore dropping like a sack of potatoes.

The thing that I like most about Riddle is his ability to absorb punishment, and still dish out some of his own. Which was what he did from the 2nd round onwards. Though I think that it wasn't enough to steal round 3. But still, a win is a win. It's like all the people behind the scorecards suddenly all turned Russian judge on Pierson. Well I guess he's Canadian, that's why.

Sean "Big Sexy" McCorkle - Stefan "Skyscraper" Struve
This fight had a funny trivial stat. These 2 dudes make up the tallest combined height among all the fights that went down in the UFC. But it doesn't matter because for me, these 2 are as irrelevant to the UFC heavyweight division as Apollo Creed is to the WBO/IBF heavyweight division or somethin'.

Sean was bein' overly-hyped by Joe Rogan(as always), just because of that 1st round submission of Mark Hunt. We were unaware that someone the likes of Struve would be the one to put a stop to Joe's overrating.

Mark Bocek - Dustin Hazelett
If there was a fighter who would win because his last name sounds like the last name of the fighter in the blue corner og the main event, then it's Mark Bocek. I was actually rooting for Bocek because he's game, and also because Hazelett eeriely looks like a carbon copy of Tamdan "Barncat" McCrory.

Looks aside, I was predicting a Bocek win because Hazelett only has jits to offer while Bocek has a lot more in his arsenal. It's like showin' another guy your dick when he has his own dick too.

The strange thing was that instead of Bocek winning via a predictable decision or via strikes, he actually slapped on a triangle choke while dishing out some elbows to the head. Hazelett should be the one doin' that, right? Is today opposite day?

Josh Koscheck - GSP
If you wanna' get rich quick, then you should've bet your entire house and let it ride on a GSP win. This dude's pretty scary! BEsides the fact that he's a genetic freak, he's also under the Greg Jackson camp.

For all you giblets not in the know, Greg Jackson is a master game planner. For the Thiago Alves fight, GSP used superior wrestling. For the BJ Penn fight, he utilized take downs again to tire Penn's arms or somethin' like that. And in this match, since Koscheck is one of the purest and most decorated douchebags, err, wrestlers, GSP used superior striking.

And by striking, I meant boxing. I don't know if GSP hung out at the wild card gym in LA, but I do know that GSP trained his boxing under world-renowned trainer Freddy "The Cock" Roach(just made up that nom de guerre). If BJ Penn and GSP boxed right now, I don't know if GSP would still end up with a bloody nose(like in their 1st encounter). Maybe BJ might end up with a broken orbital(just like Kos). That's because of the newest weapon that GSP got from the Cock. The left jab.

This may sound cliche, but this PPV has been a great night of fights nonetheless.

*images from vis-soft.com, news.bbc.co.uk

"Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows(Part 1)"

2010-12-27T03:08:00.000-08:00

They should've made this into one 5 hour flick or somethin'. I don't have the time to wait for the 2nd installment. We were all left "hangin'"!

And I don't get what's up with digital 2D? I thought it was 2.7D(or more commonly known as "converted 3D"). But it was just digital somethin'-somethin'. They didn't even bother to do digital HD or somethin'(if there was such a thing like that).

Anyway, the difference was just PhP10, so I gladly paid the difference, but I didn't really get to see that much difference between the regular and the "digital 2D" thing.

The HP franchise has really come a looooong way from where it began. Mr. Radcliffe is already an old guy. Same thing with Ms. Watson. She's a "full-grown mammal" right now. As for Rupert Grint, he looks like he does too much partying because his eyebags could fill myschool books! He better rest. The franchise has already taken away his childhood, what else does he want taken away?

This is what they do when not busy shooting.

Bill Nighy did an impeccable job portraying the Minister of Magic. Very far from what Davy Jones was doin'. And I really hate Dolores Umbridge's guts, straight from the book!

All I can say is that I am very very impatient and can't wait for the finale.

Overall rating-8 out of 10. Impressive effects make it an 8.3 out of a 10.

*images from webhush.com, readingharry.com

Gin Blossoms(Live in Manila)

2010-12-27T02:47:00.000-08:00

This was the shizznit! A lot of shit happened last Thursday. I'm so fockin' busy that I only got to write about this shit just now.

I was actually late for the event. It was slated for 8PM, but it was almost 9 when I arrived. I was supposed to meet up with my bro GP and his girlfriend She. But instead, I ended up with my other friends who I was with when I watched Toto(namely Al and Emil, plus Al's wife, Robby and some other girls that I just met, namely Zai and She[again!]).

When I arrived, it was the last song of the Australian band Fahrenheit 43(who I got to take a picture of outside their tour bus before they left). Technically, I didn't give a fuck about the front acts. But I now respect Fahrenheit 43 because their guitarist was so polite and humble, and their vocalist was so hot!

I'm just sizzlin' beside the vocalist right here.

Now when Gin Blossoms were setting up onstage, we guys were guessing as to what song was gonna be played first. We were damn sure that it wouldn't be comin' from their new album No Chocolate Cake, so we guessed some classics like Allison Road and the ever-popular Hey Jealousy. But our friend Robby got it right. It was Follow You Down.

They of course played songs from their new album(just like GP predicted), but it was just like 3 or 4 songs(plus a cover, I forgot). My favorite among their new songs that caused earworms was Ms. Disarray(doesn't look like I spelled that right).

I was still high after the concert. Little did I know that the night was just gonna get more interesting after I stepped out of the concert.

What happened was that Al's car was parked just outside the entrance/exit of rockstars/basketball players comin' to from the Araneta Coliseum. Now before we hopped onto the car, I saw Fahrenheit 43 just about to get into their tour bus, so i quickly did a snapshot with 2 of the band members. For some reason, another fan ruined the pic by joining in when it was I who grabbed Fahrenheit 43's attention(check out pic above, guy to the extreme right, that's the fucker!).

Then the cherry on top for the night happened. Just as we were driving out of the parking lot, there he was, Rob Wilson(Gin Blossom's vocalist) himself, running with his wife and some handlers. They were like in that Paul McCarnney song "Band On The Run". They were literally running. Too bad for 'em some stalkers have already taken their posts outside the gates, and we also saw him so we jumped out of the car and swarmed the poor guy.

Blurry pics really don't do any justice.

I was one of the lucky few who grabbed a quick snapshot with the rockstar. Now that my life is complete(I got to brush shoulders with an international rock star), I can now rest in peace.

This was the vehicle that the Gin Blossom God hopped into.

'Till My Heartaches End

2010-12-27T02:23:00.000-08:00

Kim Chiu is so thin! If I was Gerald, I'd go for that other chick who played his ex in this film. Now that's some yummy shit! Kim on the other hand, not so much.

Kim Chiu on opening night.

Well it's the usual Pinoy movie plot for this flick. The love story shit really gets stale, especially if the title of the movie is a title of a past hit. Which is the standard right now for Pinoy movies. If you want your movie to be a hit here, and it's not the Metro Manila Film Festival yet, then make sure that your movie title must be a song title of some past, cheesy hit.

I guess same thing goes for this movie...

The chronological distortion technique that they've used in this flick really sucked! It wasn't anythin' like 21 Grams or The Prestige. They just inserted flashbacks in between the real time event(which is Kimerald sitting in a coffee shop, talkin' about breakin' up)just to show us that they can do somethin' different other than the usual chronological style that directors here seem to collectively have.

As for Mr. Anderson, if it wasn't for this flick, I wouldn't know that he could speak fluent Tagalog. I don't watch PBB and ABS-CBN shows so I really wouldn;t know shit, right? That's why.

I thought this dude only knew Portuguese and a li'l English?!

Overall rating is 4.5 out of 10 due to the fact that the plot and story are lame!

*images from askmen.com, jasperfforde.com, costumeskeleton.com, rochellesychua.com

Unstoppable

2010-12-25T16:18:00.000-08:00

Have you seen any Wesley Snipes flicks lately?

Oops! Sorry! That ain't the promotional movie poster. Here it is.

我去过中国两次为什么

Not the Asian version, dammit!

That's more like it!

Any film by Tony Scott is an instant winner. Now this film is from Tony my man. If you base everything on logic alone, then it means that Unstoppable is a winner because it was directed by Tony! The first shots of the film(where the trains suddenly go all blurry) are all pure Tony Scott!

Denzel is also bein' his usual self here in this flick. You know, with the Training Day-like statements and stuff. The only difference is that instead of taking on the action roles, he's now slowly bein' eased into the "old-man/daddy(pre-grampa)" roles, as evidenced by him having full-grown daughters who are working themselves through college, and by him working at the train station since 1981(shit, even older than I).

Working since 1981 will make you look a li'l somethin' like this.

Chris Pine is Chris Pine. Same dude from Star Trek.

Star Trek! Not Star Wars!

Same acting chops. Same everything! I guess that's why he missed out on the lead role for Tron. It's because he's always the same. the only thing that looked different is his face in the movie poster. He looks like Paul Walker!

Not a gay-looking version like this of course.

Lew Temple(that dude that played Ned) is really one of the versatile actors around Hollywood. He's described as a chameleon when it comes to acting, which says a lot. And if you notice, Lew was actually the same dude that played the county sheriff in the movie 21 Grams.

Rosario Dawson doesn't really deviate much from her roles, because I guess that's her comfort zone. You know, bein' a professional woman who works for the government or some kinda' agency. That's about it.

This should've been titled "Stoppable" because the train could be stopped easily anyway. A chopper just has to drop a man on the train to stop it. But they only thought of that in the end?!? Don't tell me Pennsylvanians are that stupid.

They could've been doin' this to begin with.

And lastly, whatever happened to the train full of kids? I was waiting for the train to slam into their car, causing chaos. But they were suddenly....gone.

Overall rating is 6.5. But since it's a Tony Scott film with Denzel in it, it suddenly becomes an 8 out of 10. Good stuff!

*images from regrettablesincerity.com, www.clamack.hpg.ig.com.br, popstarsplus.com, blog.80millionmoviesfree.com, onlinemovieshut.com, mymoviecinema.com

"Stone"

2010-12-18T08:26:00.000-08:00

Edward Norton deserves my "ticket for the party of awesome actors" right here. I kinda' don't like Edward initially because his voice in narratives seems to be just that same, droning voice. But here, his voice is that of a high-spitched, West coast, white trash thug. He must've done some method acting on this one. Hence, the transformation.

Didn't I tell you not to use drugs during method acting?

Robert De Niro just gives out his usual, vintage, De Niro performance here. You know, the grumpy type like that stepdad in Meet The Fockers. That's all that he's gonna be from here thereon.

I somehow see stagnation when it comes to Robert De Niro's acting.

Now here's the sleeper, Milla Jovovich. Honestly, I don't find her hot in any of the Resident Evil installments. I just watched that shit because I used to play the game back then. And that's it!

Emma Stone and "Stone"? Why not?

But here, woooh! Dang! Hotness! The boobs though are a liability, but all in all, hot! I like her look with her hair gone wild! Not the prim and sleek hair that she has in Resident Evil.

Now we're talkin'!

I expect nothing less than an Oscar nomination out of Mr. Fight Club himself(well, half of FC that is, sorry Brad!). As for De Niro, your act is nothing new to garner something out of the academy.

Overall rating is 8 out of 10 because I was kinda' left hangin' in the end, wanting more! Give me my STONE!

*images from i.dailymail.co.uk, www.shockya.com, www.filmofilia.com, joyhog.com,

"The Other Guys"

2010-12-18T08:03:00.000-08:00

I was just stumped at the fact that Dwayne Johnson and Samuel L Jackson died instantly in this one. I thought that they were the fuckin' supercops. But they died! What a bunch of losers. Good stuff too that Foo Fighters' "My Hero" was playing while they were falling to their deaths.

Allen Gamble(Will Ferrell) and Terry Hoitz(MArk Wahlberg) play disgraced New York cops who do the paperwork for the cops that they idolize(namely The Rock and Sam). I was LOL when Wahlberg shot Derek Jeter(as himself) in the Yankees Stadium. Very stupid.

Eva Mendes' beauty was uncovered here fully I think.

Wasn't it already uncovered before?

I already noticed her ass in Too Fast, Too Furious. But she's on a whole 'notha level right here. Can't believe Gamble was allowing Hoitz to talk to his wife(Mendes) like that.

The hidden gem here for me is Michael Keaton(Capt. Gene Mauch). He keeps mentioning TLC song lyrics without him even noticing it. Now who the fuck would say , "Don't go chasin' waterfalls!". Hilarious shit!

Can't find quick Keaton movie pics. Here's Batman instead.

Nice soundtrack too. Little River Band rocks! I didn't know that "Pimps Don't Cry was a real song(during the end credits). And I knew that it was The White Stripes' music that was playin' in the background during the shootout in the building after the shareholder meeting.

All in all, 7.5 out of 10 for hilarity.

*images from deadline.com, mos.totalfilm.com, blog.newsok.com

Ang Guro

2010-12-18T07:26:00.000-08:00

Just viewed this last month. If it wasn't for school shit, I wouldn't be in the know that such a play existed.

Tickets cost Php250. But that's cool because what we got in exchange for purchasing the ticket is the non-submission of our final product(which is something that we just make up and produce and in our case, we came up with "anti-hangover" pills).

This play was headlined by Karel Marquez(yes, the same gal with the scandal who used to VJ for MYX).

In fact, Karel was the only A-lister here(together with her mom Pinky[Pinky Marquez is Karel's mom, right?] who did a special participation on this one). The rest of the cast were virtual unknowns, though some of their faces looked familiar.

Paul Ballano was the script-writer and director for this presentation. He should thank God for his sense of humor because if he wasn't funny, I wouldn't remember him at all. Kudos to him too that he chose to honor our country's teachers in this one. Teaches are really one of the most underrated people in society.

The dude who played Mr. Inspection(or was it Inspecion?) was pretty good. If it wasn't for his role-playing, I would really think that he's gay. Plus the other chubby teacher has pretty good acting chops too. Exaggerated gestures are really a must to succeed in stage plays.

Karel did a wonderful job onstage as Ms. Resontoc()or was that Resonto?), the teacher(who apparently was Paul Ballano's 1st Grade teacher in real life). Do you remember how your kind-hearted, stress-free teachers used to talk to you back in the day? That was how Karel talked the entire time. It's as if she's in the zone to be a goody-two-shoes faculty member. Her refreshing face helped a lot too.

Refreshing, not alluring/seducing.

Whoa whoa whoa! Not that type of fresh! I mean this...

Now, that's better!

The only part that I didn't like was the singin'. I don't know what it is, but there's just something about musicals that bore me to death.

Overall, this play merits a 7/10 due to the fact that I was amused for like 2 hours.

*images from www.abante-tonite.com, fhm.com.ph

RED

2010-11-06T08:00:00.000-07:00

The secret agent/CIA stuff never really gets old.It could look old though if you place in guys like Morgan Freeman, Bruce Willis, John Malkovich and Helen Mirren in it. Plus place in there too that dude who played Agamemnon(did I spell that right?) in Troy, and it really looks old! And also, that dude who was in line buying the RED movie tickets looked old too. I feel like I'm entering a Jackie Chan movie(where almost all the members in the audience are like 35 or way older). These are the same guys who watched Die Hard I in theaters back in the day(and they were in their prime back then).

The leads were so in theirpost-post-primestate that Karl Urban looked young and preppy amongst 'em. Bruce Willis even called Urban(who played Cooper, one of CIA's heads), "6'1 with the cute hair..." I guess you could call his hair cute if you yourself are balding and your hair follicles aren't motivated(or stimulated, whatever) to grow(just like Willis'). Demi Moore might've left Bruce because of his lack of head hair. I think she wants her man's hair just like the head of a Viking's(perhaps like Ashton's?).

Bruce Willis really revels in roles wherein he doesn't have to do any shouting. He always wants to take it easy on his larynx. I mean, come on. Give me a scene from any of the last 10 Bruce Willis flicks where he was required to shout a lot. Man he doesn't even talk loud enough to be John McClane. His voice always seems smooth and suave. Hence, the bald guy roles.
Morgan Freeman just isn't cut out for action flicks like these. Even if he's RED(Retired and Extremely Dangerous) int his movie, he just ain't athletic enough. Helen Mirren can beat this geezer in a foot race. Plus he(Freeman) doesn't look like an 80-year old with stage 4 liver cancer(his role in the movie).

Helen Mirren really looks old in this one. I mean, she looks old when she played Queen Elizabeth. but man, time flies by so fast. For me, she kinda' looked different in a short span of time. But her accent really kicked ass!

My favorite here is of course, Mr. John Malkovich. Not only does he bring the much needed comic relief. He also embraces the old man role to the extent that he made old man synonymous to veteran killer. Add to that the fact that he did LSD for 11 years under a controlled, secret CIA program, then you really have a funny old junkie runnin' loose with the old dogs.

I wasn't really overwhelmed with this movie or anything like that. It was just what I expected. A bunch of retired CIA agents runnin' around and killin' people. Good job to John Malkovich for bein' the "glue guy" in this team. If you don't know what a glue guy is, think Scottie Pippen of the Bulls. Think Lamar Odom for the Lakers. Think Udonis Haslem for the Heat.

Offensively and defensively, they bring it to the table. Same thing with John.

My rating for this flick is 7 out of 10. If it wasn't for the glue guy, this would be a measly 6.

*image from www.scene-stealers.com

Funny People

2010-11-06T06:51:00.000-07:00

Now where's McLovin' in this pic?

As the name of the title suggests, this flick is indeed about some funny-assed people. And since this was a Judd Apatow creation, I expected to crack up multiple times. And I did! Majority of my laughter was simulated by Adam Sandler's antics.

And also, since this was a Judd Apatow outing, I kinda' expected Michael Cera, Seth Rogen and Jonah Hill to be present. And there they were. Jonah Hill and Seth Rogen that is. 2 out of 3 ain't bad. The Superbad boys are at it again!

I found it pretty cool that Judd Apatow made a reference to Pink Floyd. Roger Waters to be exact. And this really cracked me up because what happened was, Adam Sandler and his new assistant Seth Rogen were invited to MySpace.com's anniversary party which was held at some other state so Seth and Adam flew in Adam's very own charter plane or private jet somethin'-somethin'.

Now you know those movie transitions wherein somethin' mellow is bein' played in the background while the current scene is transitioning to the next one? You know, like in the movie "Almost Famous" where the song "Tiny Dancer" was bein' played in the background while Stillwater's guitarist was bein' whisked off on a tour bus after a hard night's partyin' at some Random house in Topeka, KS?

Well it was somethin' similar to that in "Funny People" when they were goin' to the MySpace annual party. One of James Taylor's songs was being played in the background while they were boarding the private plane. Now as the scene transitioned to the MySpace party itself, there he was. James Taylor himself singin' the song that was playin' in the background.

When Seth noticed how cool it was to have James Taylor playin' at their party, the usher(or whoever that was guidin' the newly-arrived guests) said that the previous year they had Roger Waters doin' Dark Side Of The Moon. Now as a hardcore Pink Floys fan, and casual James Taylor listener, that's some funny shit right there!

I would like to say kudos to Marshall Mathers III for his acting here, but I won't. That's because he played as himself so he didn't require any method or whatever sort of acting there is. He dissed Ray Romano of the TV shows "Everybody Loves Raymond" pretty naturally, just like the real Slim Shady would!

The hidden gem here is Eric Bana, believe it or not. Who would've thought that Hector of "Troy" could be funny? I was really caught unaware. Yes, we know that he's Australian and shit, but he delivered his Australian-accented lines with conviction. Just like that Aussie croc guy who always goes, "Crikey mate!" Steve Irwin or Brady Barr or somethin'. All I know is that he's dead(R.I.P.). And he wasn't even killed by a croc! Just some stingray poisoning or something water-related. Poor croc-master.

I rate this movie 8 out of 10 just because of the fact that I love Happy Gilmore, Superbad, and Pineapple Express. Bring on the funnies!

*pic from www.thevine.com.au

UFC 121[afterthoughts)

2010-11-06T06:11:00.000-07:00

History was made on this one. This was more or less how this shit went down...

Brendan Schaub-Gabriel "Napao" Gonzaga

A heavyweight match-up of infinitesimal proportions. That's because I really don't give a flying fuck who wins between this match-up. As far as I'm concerned, Napao is as irrelevant as Mike Tyson is to the heavyweight division(just exaggerating of course).

But of course, like most pundits, I was pickin' Gabe to win. This hairy gorilla has one-pop KO power. His head kick of Cro Cop was heard all around the world, so I was thinking why the fuck did he stop leg-kicking at some point in the 2nd rd? Such a stupid gameplan. Schaub was bouncier and more fleet-footed, so peppering the kid with leg kicks should've slowed him down.

But no. He instead relied on his hands for that one punch KO. Bad move because he can't even tag Schaub. The kid's too fast for him. Therefore Schaub ran away with the unanimous decision V.

Tito Ortiz-Matt "The Hammer" Hamill

Apprentice meets Master in the octagon. That would be a lovely headline after this event. If you remember, Tito Ortiz was one of Matt Hamill's coaches during his stint at TUF. Good for Matt that he got all the lessons that he learned to compete inside the cage because he was the one dishing out the vicious GNP that Tito was known for when he was still dominant, and relevant(yes, I'm wondering why he's still on the UFC's roster).

Another loss for Tito. Another slew of excuses comin' up from Mr. Jenna Jamison.

Diego "Nightmare" Sanchez-Paulo Thiago

Didn't expect this one, really. I mean, Sanchez was very lackluster the last couple of outings(heck he was dissected by John Hathaway!). So I expected more of the same comin' into this fight.

But surprise, surprise! Diego looked like the Diego of old in this one. Fast-paced, relentless, and crazy(yes, he was shouting like a caveman when he slammed Paulo to the mat). I like this new and "re-dedicated" Diego. If he always fights like this, then I won't hesitate on placing some cheddar on him.

Martin "The Hitman" Kampmann-Jake Shields

Sorry to say this, but doesn't Jake look like a retard or somethin'? Plus one of the judges(I'm sure Cecil Peoples is somehow involved in this one) is also a retard for giving Shields the nod for the decision. It really sucks because the UFC wants to set up the title fight between Shields and current UFC welterweight kingpin, GSP. And the stupid refs are obeying orders from the UFC bigwigs like dogs! Shame on those sucky judges!

If you watch the fight, Jake only got the takedowns. But that's it! Kampmann was able to stand up from it anyway. Plus he busted up Shields' (retard) face pretty good. Kampmann doesn't have a single scratch(Jake Shields actually has pillows for fists). And if you watch the fight overall, it's very clear who won this shit. So I really don't get all of this crappy judging lately. It is indeed a crying shame.

Brock Lesnar-Cain Velasquez

The fight that I was actually waiting for. Even my elder bro who's not into MMA so much(he just watches if Anderson Silva or GSP is on) was waiting in anticipation for Brock Lesnar to clobber Brown Pride. Well, that was the prediction anyway. It didn't really happen though. It was the other way around.

This fight clearly shows that size doesn't matter. It's always gonna be skill/technique over strength(just like that "mind over matter" thing). Cain's wrestling is just too good(former NCAA Div.I wrestler), and he used it to stand back up(he was taken down by the monster twice if I remember correctly).

Another problem for Brock is that Cain has an unlimited gas tank. For me, Cain and GSP are the real cardio machines in this game. Shane Carwin lost steam when he was pounding on Brock. Cain didn't lose any, and was methodically picking his spots when he was doin' the pounding. Plus Brock's stand-up is really raw, so that's another department that Cain exploited.

My take on this is that Cain just watched all Lesnar tapes out there, and took in all the good things. He noticed that Randy was able to stand-and-bang('till he got clipped)with Brock so that was one area to exploit. Another was the ground-and-poundage of Carwin. He fused all these elements together, and coupled his freakish cardio with it to formulate the winning gameplan, which was what exactly went down last Sunday.

Now who's next? Junior Dos Santos could use the Cheick Kongo formula(remember when Kongo tagged Velasquez multiple times?) to end Cain's HW reign ASAP. The problem is that if push comes to shove, these wrestlers all go back to their bread and butter and take their opponents down repeatedly. If that happens, then game over for Dos Santos and we have to wait for a Carwin or a (new and improved) Lesnar to dethrone Cain(who's actually sponsored by Dethrone).

History was made tonight. That's how it went down...

UFC 120(afterthoughts)

2010-10-25T03:46:00.000-07:00

I really wasn't lookin' forward to this card except for 3 fights that were in it, and they were the most important fights of the night(or day here). It involved 3 Brits who were headlining this London show. Namely, John Hathaway, Dan "The Outlaw" Hardy, and UFC(UK) poster-boy, Michael "The Count" Bisping.

So the 1st 2nd fights, I didn't really get to watch that much, which was kinda' wrong too if you look at it from a different perspective because the 1st 2 winners could be future contenders that we need to watch out for. The problem was that the 1st fight involved a lot of "grind-it-out" wrestling. Not too much technical fighting goin' on, so changin' channels was always an option.

John Hathaway-Mike Pyle- I was disappointed with this fight because this Hathaway kid has tons of upside. He's only 22 years old I believe. I mean, besides BJ Penn, it was Hathaway who handed Diego "Nightmare" Sanchez his own ass the last time both went at it. Who does that shit to Diego?!?

But here, it was a different story. Mike Pyle was the one doin' the ass-handling. Hathaway's brute strength wasn't enough to negate Mike Pyle's far superior wrestling(this guy trains at Extreme Couture). The 1st few take down defenses were pretty successful(all due to Hathaway's "young lad strength"), but the rest went straight to hell(or to the mat, down the drain, whatever). And not only that, Pyle's striking was technical too. Hathaway's longer reach wasn't worth shit to Pyle. He(Pyle) even switched levels a lot, which threw Hathaway off when it came to defense. Hence, the big L for Hathaway.

Dan "The Outlaw" Hardy-Carlos "The Natural Born Killer" Condit-This was guaranteed TNT! the only disgruntling thing was that my boy Dan Hardy was knocked out cold(well, his eyes were still open when he received the closing punches that ended the fight).

My money was actually ridin' on Condit(so good thing that he won), but that KO of Hardy was just brutal! I didn't expect that shit to go down like that. The left hook is indeed one of Hardy's more prominent weapon. And Condit isn't really known a a KO artist, so it was pretty foolish of Condit to be standin' and bangin' with Hardy like what he did in this fight.

But the reason why I bet on Condit was because he is like Nick DIaz in a sense that he'll beat you at your own game if you don't watch out. If you could strike, he would love to stand and trade blows with you. If you're the grappling type, he'll just out-grapple. So that just means that Condit's left hook was badder and meaner! It didn't really land first, but it connected clearer(both fighters threw left hooks before the lights went out for Hardy).

Mike "The Count" Bisping-"Sexyama" Yoshihiro Akiyama-I genuinely don't understand why Asian fighter's comin' from here crossin' over to the west can't tie up a decent string of wins and become successful. Even Asian fighters who grew up in the west can't seem to come up with something(i.e. Mark "The Filipino Wrecking Machine" Munoz and Philippe[did I spell that correctly] Nover). Guys like Brandon Vera and Yushin Okami can't seem to get past the tip of the iceberg. I'm not looking down at anyone here. But that's just the way it is I guess. Other races are physically superior than their Asian counterparts(taller, stronger, etc). The only exception(isn't that a Paramore song) is Manny Pacquiao.

Now in this fight, I think it's nearin' towards the end of the road for Akiyama. I mean, the dude had his chances, but he blew 'em. He wasn't ready to snatch a win against a B-Level Chris "The Crippler" Leben. He most certainly wasn't ready to steal the W against an always game Bisping, whose only strategy is to outpoint his opponents with soft, grazing punches. Lame, but effective nonetheless.

There you have it. A losin' night for British fight fans, but a winning night for me and fellow MMA junkies and maniacs. Next stoop, UFC 121! I'm salivating at the heavyweight fight of the century!

*image from octagonbuzz.com

The Town

2010-10-21T04:20:00.000-07:00

This flick really threw me off. Not in a negative way. I mean, I really wasn't readin' or hearin' any reviews about this one, so I really had a clean slate when it came to comin' up with worthless opinions about the film overall. After all, opinions are like assholes. They all stink!

It's always a good thing to hang around afterwards and watch the credits rolling. If it wasn't for that, I wouldn't know that it was Ben "formerly Bennifer" Affleck who directed the flick. In all actuality, he is indeed a better playwright than actor. Man if Shakespeare sucked at acting, then can we all say that Ben Affleck is William Shakespeare Version 2.0? I don't really know where this is leading to, but the bottom line is that Mr. Bennifer(yes, I guess he's still Bennifer due to the Jennifer Garner thing) here is better off directing. I for one am a would-be sucker for all of his upcoming flicks.

The hidden gem here ladies and gentlemen, is none other than Mr. Hurt Locker himself, Jeremy Renner. Well Ben, Jeremy, and the others did a good job in switching the lever to the Irish-Bostonian/Charlestownian accent setting. Whoever their accent coach was(my guess is that it's the same accent coach who taught Forest Whitaker in speaking like Idi Amin in The Last King Of Scotland), he/she did a wonderful job in converting their tongues into fully-fledged semi-Irishmen.

The innovative thing that I saw was the part where the SWAT team threw a bomb at 'em and then everything went silent after the explosion. Well almost everything. except for the incessant ringin' sound. You know, that high-pitched sound you hear after your eardrums take in a sudden blastful? That was I think the first time that somebody got the actual feel of bein' blasted, and then simulated that feel and translated it into film for us viewers to experience. It's the li'l things like these that make my viewing superb. I live for these moments!

When everything's said and done, I'd give this movie a 9 out of 10 due to the fact that I was fully disoriented after that explosion I was talkin' about.

*image from IMDb.com

RocknRolla

2010-10-21T03:08:00.000-07:00

Another one of 'em Guy Ritchie creations. If you're familiar with the movie feel of Snatch, then this one's pretty similar. Guy's films are like carnival rides. Once you begin the movie, the ride starts and then ends after the end credits. I know that description sucked, but you get my drift.

As I've said earlier, RocknRolla's like Snatch in a lot of ways. It overwhelms you with "Guy Ritchie Camera Shots"(you know, the fast panning and swift transitions, you know the fuckin' drill). It's also set in London, with the usual London gangsters. Lenny Cole's similar to Snatch's Brick Top.

Turkish's role is similar to that of One-Two's. Plus there's also a missing thing involved, which is the Russian's painting while in Snatch, it's 'Cousin' Avi's diamond. The Russians in RocknRolla can also be compared to the Jews of Snatch due to race I guess.

And Guy's penchant for shredding out facts while doin' a certain scene clearly shows here in RocknRolla(when Lenny explains how the local fish species was completely wiped out by its American counterparts in the River Thames). Back in Snatch, it's Brick Top explaining how starved pigs could chew through human bone and flesh like butter.

Another thing that could be compared if you ask me is Jason Statham and Mark Strong's narrating ala Fight Club's Edward Norton.

Now for the actors who stood out...

Gerard Butler a.k.a. "One-Two"- It's in this flick wherein I fully got to appreciate Gerard Butler's acting, even if he's in his comfort zone, which is doin' roles in his native accent. His dancing really blew me away, that's all I can say.

Idris Elba a.k.a. "Mumbles"- If it wasn't for The Losers, I wouldn't recognize this fucker.
Favorite line? "If I could be half the human being Bob is at the cost of being a poof, I'd have to think about it. Not for very long, but I'd have to pause. "

Tom Wilkinson a.k.a. "Lenny Cole"- Really has the greedy and evil look in him, just like in Batman Begins. Can you say he's got that "Gangster/Mafia" look?
Favorite line? "There's no school like old school, and I'm the fuckin' headmaster!"

Mark Strong a.k.a. "Archy"- Really looks familiar, but he wasn't really under my radar 'till Kick-Ass came out. A very solid performer, who can hold his own in every character he portrays. I really digged(yeah it's dug I know, but digged sounds more appropriate nowadays I think) how he interrupted Roman and Mickey in their studio usin' the studio microphone. Hilarious shit!

Thandie Newton a.k.a. "Stella[The Accountant]"- Reminded me a lot of Zoe Saldana. I also found her sexy when she started dancin' freakishly in that party when they were discussin' the 2nd job(or rather, "the heist").

Toby Kebbell a.k.a. "Johnny Quid"- Acted like a true rock'n rolla, no pun intended. That's because here, he plays a rock star who was always presumed dead. As the sayin' goes, "Rock stars are more famous when they;re dead. Johnny Quid's just cashin' in.

Tom Hardy a.k.a. "Handsome Bob"- If it wasn't for my bro's trained eye, I wouldn't have noticed that this was the same dude who played Eames in my 3rd favorite movie, which is none other than Inception(the 1st being "The Imaginarium Of Dr. Parnassus while the 2nd one is "The Matrix").

Lastly, RocknRolla's soundtrack sounded cool too. Full of old school rock songs! I give RocknRolla a 9 out of 10, due in large part to my bias for Guy Ritchie flicks. all I can say is that this flick fuckin' rocks!

*image from firstshowing.net

UFC 119(afterthoughts)

2010-09-26T01:18:00.000-07:00

This card was stacked with potential. But only for the pre-main event cards though. The main event looked weak on paper(for Cro Cop was just a late sub). And that was what it really was. A bore!

Now here are my 2 cents for each of the fights:

(Melvin "The Young Assassin" Guillard VS Jeremy "Li'l Heathen" Stephens)
This had Fight Of The Night written all over it. Sadly, it went to the undercard fight between Matt "Meathead" Mitrione and Joey Beltran.

In this fight, we were supposed to see a much more rounded Guillard. He could've used his wrestling to bring Li'l Heathen(who's more naturally a striker) down on the mat. too bad he resorted back to his striking. It's good because he's exlosive and has power in his hands. Bad because he could've finished Stephens with some of his groun-and-pound. Good thing that he won. I am wondering who's next for Guillard. They should give him a top 10er, that's fo' sho'!

(Sean "The Muscle Shark" Sherk VS Evan Dunham)
This was highway robbery 101. Split decision victory for Sherk? Oh come on! The value of his name gave him the win, not anything else. I don't know what the judges were thinkin'! Honestly, the judges sucked on this card too. And guess who one of the judges were on this event. Cecil fuckin' Peoples! Man that judge's a rip!

Evan Dunham deserved the win more than the Muscle Shark. He's been tearin' it up in the lightweight division lately, and deserves to climb up the ladder more than Sherk.

(Matt "The Terror" Serra VS Chris "Lights Out" Lytle)
I thought that this fight will contain the KO Of The Night. Serra seemed to be more than happy to stand and bang with Lytle, which is a big no-no because he should be using his BJJ blackbelt on Lytle, who's more of a brawler. Though Lytle has a few submission wins himself. In the end, it's the bigger guy that wins.

(Antonio Rogerio Nogueira VS Ryan "Darth" Bader)
The Li'l Nog hype train needs to stop here. Rogerio seems to be just riding Minotauro's coattails because so far, his most impressive win in the UFC was against Luiz Cane. After that, it was all nothing. I mean, who almost loses to a late replacement Jason Brilz?!? Only over-hyped fighters, that's who.

Darth Bader showed in this one that he could hang with the big boys. This former TUF winner came in with only wrestling in his Arsenal. Now he's got submissions and some striking too! Good UD win for Bader!

(Frank Mir VS Mirko Cro Cop)
This was one of the worst main events that I've seen for a long time now. These 2 former champions fought as if they have a silent agreement in controlling octagon aggression. It looked like a glorified sparring match.

Well it seemed that way 'till before Cro Cop ate a Mir knee in the 3rd. Now that lulled him to sleep. Another W for Mir, albeit a lackluster one. IMO, Mir has already reached the Zenith of his improvement curve(he's 31), while Cro Cop should just hang it up. He has nothing to prove anymore. He's got legions of fans all over the world(especially in Croatia and Japan) and maybe he should just think about his safety and future.

Overall, a very weak card. That's why I can't wait for UFC 120. I'm rooting for Akiyama just because he's Asian and Bisping's too cocky. John Hathaway has got some serious upside so I dunno how he's gonna match up against Mike Pyle. But the fight that has detonation and fight of the night(nigh fight of the year!)written all over it is the Dan Hardy-Carlos Condit fight. Joe Silva(the current UFC matchmaker) is a genius! I'm currently salivating, just thinking of that wicked match-up!

*image from www.ufc.com

(my 3 cents on) Legend Of The Guardians: The Owls Of Ga'Hoole[3D]

2010-09-26T00:02:00.000-07:00

Honestly, I haven't watched Happy Feet yet(just some clips from HBO), but I think Happy Feet was just as good as this.

I also honestly didn't believe that Zack Snyder was the director of this flick. But there I was, staring at his name during the end credits.

I was stoked when it came to the aerial shots that this flick offered. Especially in 3D, you could sorta' feel the air beneath your wings. The rain droplets also were very realistic. I was feelin' drenched after their flying lesson with Ezylryb. And I knew that it was Geoffrey Rush who was doin' Ezylryb because I could hear Captain Barbossa from Pirates Of The Caribbean.

I also heard Elrond/Agent Smith from the very start of the film when Noctus(Soren's dad) started speaking. Megatron without the Welker element anyone?

Eglantine was really cute. Not as cute as Agnes from Despicable Me though.

And what was it with the "metal flecks"? Anyway, nothin's real in that film so why bother questioning what a metal fleck is?

Overall,this is one flick that I enjoyed! An 8 out of 10 would be just appropriate.

And oh, that song from Owl City in the soundtrack was pretty obvious. I kinda' saw it comin' that they'll use Owl City in a movie about owls.

*image from blog.80millionmoviesfree.com

(my 3 cents on) Phobia 2

2010-09-25T23:09:00.000-07:00

I didn't even know that there was a "Phobia 1".

I already have a moniker(if you could call it a moniker) for this movie. It's "Shake-Rattle-And-Roll, Thailand Version". That's because Phobia is essentially like that(Shake-Rattle-And-Roll, or SRAR from hereon). It's a movie with short stories in it, just like SRAR. But Phobia has more stories in it I think because as far as I can remember, SRAR has like 3(or 4 tops) stories to a movie while Phobia has 5. I could be wrong though.

Anyway, Phobia really brought out the fright in me. I can't remember screeching and screaming like that while watching SRAR. Consider the fact that I watched SRAR when I was a kid. And kids tend to be more frightened more easily than adults like me. That shows how frightening Phobia really is to the average movie-goer. Good thing that they made the last part funny. It's a funny ghost story is what it is.

Now for the short stories(in the movie), here are my 3 cents...I'll just label 'em in parts to avoid confusion.

Part I
This part made me cringe. Supernatural elements were at work. Trees were movin' and bushes were comin' to life. There was even an "unyango"(or a gecko, I don't know) which said, "Tuko!". I even reckon seein' a "kapre", or was that just a shadow? But I'm pretty sure that was a "kapre"(or a tree giant smokin' cigars). In the end, the shaolin boy turned to a tree.

Part II
For me, this was the scariest shit. I screamed out the loudest during this part. It was all about this kid involved in a motorcycle accident. He requested for a private ward, but he was placed inside a "shared" ward, with a dying patient beside him and only a curtain that separated them.

Now this dying patient was only breathing through a respirator, or breathing machine, or whatever that thing was. In short, he as a vegetable lyin' in soup. So it was really creepy when the kid peeped through the curtain, only to find out that the other dying patient wasn't in bed but was instead, standing behind him, staring like a madman. What's more, the dying patient(or it's a ghost or what not) was trying to strangle him every single time that the nurse wasn't in the room.

Part III
This one was about zombies. People in a truck were bein' smuggled. Or rather, drugs I believe were bein' smuggled, and they used the human bodies as vessels.

Obviously, the director got his cue from "Dawn Of The Dead" or "28 Days Later" because the zombies were running. Sprinting even! Not so scary though in my book. That's because I know I could outrun a zombie in real life. i just don't know if my cardio could hold though.

Part IV
The penultimate episode was kinda' scary too. It had shock factor like in the 2nd part. Ghosts were just suddenly poppin' up!

Here, ghosts in car wrecks haunt the new owners because the wrecked cars were only restored and sold as new. Have you ever ridden ridden in a car where people have died, or got killed in? You could just imagine the fear factor at work when it comes to drivin' haunted cars.

Part V
Finally, some comic relief. What's more, one of the PAs doin' the movie shoot(they were shooting about a movie about a person seeing ghosts) looks like Piolo Pascual.

The lead actress looked hot too! She's half-Caucasian I'm pretty sure. I bet she's a daughter of a white dude who happened to be on vacation in Bangkok(or Phuket or wherever) and somehow ended up fuckin' a Thai lady.

Overall, this was a 6 out of 10 for I really ain't a fan of horror movies. 9 outta 10 for frightening me. I'm just concerned that Philippine cinema is gettin' left behind in the dust. Our special FX is just not at par with the other Asian countries. I just don't get it!

*image from www.lynks4you.com

(my 3 cents on Resident Evil 4: Afterlife

2010-09-25T22:49:00.000-07:00

You only have 2 choices. Ali Larter or Milla Jovovich. I say screw 'em both!

Kiddin' aside, this latest Resident Evil installment is the one in which I had the most fun viewing. Is it the 3D? No.

Is it the zombies running around this time(all of a sudden, everybody's taking their cue from Dawn Of The Dead)? No.

Is it the eerie similarity to The Matrix? No.

Is it Milla Jovovich and Ali Larter sporting their own wet looks? Hell yeah!

But no, seriously. This latest addition to the series packed in more punch than the others. Everythin' was there. The firepower. The explosions. The blood. Everything!

Plus the fact that 2 of the main actors in this flick(Ali Larter and Wentworth Miller) came from 2 TV series that I used to watch a couple of years ago(Heroes and Prison Break). That means the 2 actors have come a loooong way ever since.

Now on to my 2 cents:

-Milla Jovovich doesn't look like she's given birth. She's prime MILF material(sorry moms of the world)!

-Samesies for Ali Larter. But Ali, please do try to get some shut eye in between shoots. The eye bag problem is worsening. Though you still look sizzling when wet(and dry of course).

-As for Wentworth Miller, can a voice get more hammier? Only Batman himself could top all that hamminess.

-the 3D effects were stunning as usual. I think I got wet during the bathroom brawl.

-The monster zombie involved in the bathroom brawl looks kinda' similar to the 1st stage boss in the Silent Hill arcade game.

-The Asian character kinda' showed how "WEAK" Asians are in general. He really doesn't lack in the fear department. Hence his zombie death.

-When Milla was running away from the zombies and shooting at 'em on the roof, it sounded as if Owl City's "Fireflies" was playing in the background music.

As for the last scene, it really shows that the director and the producers were really planning on milking the Resident Evil franchise for all its worth 'till its udders and tits are all stiff and shriveled. I believe there's already a Resident Evil Resurrection. So a summer or 2 from now, expect somethin' like "Resident Evil 5: Reincarnation".

(my 2 cents on)Despicable Me

2010-09-17T19:21:00.000-07:00

I'm just amazed that this movie has its own song from hip-hop artist Pharrell Williams. Pretty cool!

Well Despicable Me really is not that despicable(like what Daffy Duck always says). It's actually a touching movie that centers on a "change-of-heart" theme, believe it or not. Well I saw that theme comin' a long time ago, ever since I saw in the movie trailer that he was adopting the kids. I instantly thought, "Oh, from criminal mastermind to kind-hearted dad. Yeah right, I know the drill".

I didn't expect that I was gonna be in for more. Laughs that is. Steve Carell is really amazing when it comes to voicing characters. There really is no hint of Steve Carell in Gru's voice because he did something to it. I believe it was the accent, added with some gruffiness.

Jason Segel(of How I Met Your Mother fame) also did a pretty good job voicing Vector. And so did Russell Brand, who did Dr. Nefario(the funny old scientist who did "Boogie" instead of "Cookie" robots). In all fairness, the Boogie Robots were a hit! I guess it was The Bee Gees that they were boogeying(did I spell that right? sounds like golf) to.

And I had a funny feeling that Gru's mom was being voiced-over by someone also famous. And I was right. I saw Julie Andrews in the credits.

With Miranda Cosgrove's hotness, she should've done a sexier character and not a kid!

I loved Agnes! She's now officially the cutest CGI kid(sorry kid from Monsters Inc). "It's so fluffy!"

Salt(afterthoughts)

2010-09-17T18:22:00.000-07:00

Not bad for a post-cold war, USA-VS-Russia plot. Even with my "faux"-expertise movie storylines and everythin', I was still a bit confused about the early years of Chankov(Angelina Jolie). There was a part there in the movie wherein an infant Chankov died through health complications. She was even buried because there was a shot of a tombstone with a wreath of flowers laid on it.

But then suddenly, the baby was alive and was with another set of parents who died in a car accident! Lucky for Chankov, she survived and was taken by the CIA(or some American secret service member) to the US, where she bacame Evelyn Salt. The thing was that where in the fuckin' depths of Mordor did the new, "alive" baby come from?!? That faux-defector Russian spy Vassily(he said "Vaseelich") should've narrated the story in the interrogation room a li'l more clearer.

Another unclear part of the movie was the part of the plot wherein SAlt has to run away from the CIA just to prove her worth to the Russians or somethin'. I mean, what if she gets killed with all the dangerous stunts that she's doin' while eluding the CIA and the feds? She could've just killed the Russian president while still bein' within the ranks of the CIA. But then again, that's how intricate the plot of this story is. Evelyn Salt is like Agent Sands(Johnny Depp in Once Upon A Time In Mexico). She's just playin' both sides I guess.

She's on the run towards the end part of the movie, which clearly shows that there will be a Salt Part 2. I think the new movie will be entitled, "Salt II, The Russians Strike Back".

As for the actors, they generally did pretty good.

Angelina Jolie did a lot of stuff that reminded me of The Matrix. the off-the-wal roundhouse kick conjured memories of Niobe(Jada Pinkett-Smith) during Reloaded(or was thet Revolutions, I can't remember). Doin' stunts on top of a truck on a freeway was like Morpheus doin' his thang. And Evelyn Salt on a big bike was definitely Trinity!

The other KGB mole looked familiar(Liev Schreiber). He was the one who played Sabretooth in the "X-Men Origins: Wolverine" movie. For me, he looks like he could be playin' Che Guevarra. His side burns are perfect! Unfortunately, no one could top Benicio Del Toro's performance as Ernesto.

Chiwetel Ejiofor was another team player. The English accent has already been neutralized, I guess ever since American Gangster. Or I guess he could really speak in both American, and English accents.

As for the other actors, they just didn't do enough to warrant my attention. Sorry because I was just drawn into the whole story. I say 8/10 for originality. Though the cold war plot never grows old. Original in that the story's kinda' fresh for me.

*Image from extramirchi.com

UFC 118(post-fight rant)

2010-08-29T00:41:00.000-07:00

Another great night of fights(well almost all UFC events feature great fights anyway). I actually almost forgot that this PPV was Frankie Edgar's title defense against The Prodigy that is BJ Penn. I thought that the COuture-toney fight was the main event. So it was like a bonus, seeing the title fight in the end!

The first fight was bloody. It was Marcus "Irish Hand Grenade" Davis against the young buck Nate Diaz. A classic "striker VS grappler" match-up, though Davis has a decent ground game, and Nate isn't afraid to mix it up on the feet. And guess what happened. You would expect Nate to get outclassed on the feet because Davis is a legit boxer(used to box in the amateur circuit). But he was tooled by Nate and was even submitted on the ground. Davis was sleeping when the fight ended.

Here's Davis. Even the ring doctor looks like WTF?!?

2nd fight was a title contender match-up between Gray "The Bully" Maynard and Kenny "Ken-Flo"(yes, I know the moniker sucks) Florian. I expected The Bully to outwrestle KenFlo to a unanimous decision. And that's exactly what happened. Poor Kenny. With all that Muay-Thai and jiu-jitsu skills(he's a black belt), he just can't cut it against the Bully's wrestling.

3rd on tap was the Demain Maia-"Super" Mario Miranda fight. Maia was originally slated to face Alan "Teh Talent" Belcher but Belcher had to withdraw because of a damaged retina or something in the eye. If he doesn;t watch it, he could go blind and won't be able to compete in MMA anymore. But I have a feeling that he would be back.

Anyway, the 3rd fight was kinda' boring. I thought Super Mario was good on the feet. But Maia just managed to strike with him, and even take him to the ground. That fight should've included Belcher for it to be more exciting.

The 4th match was the co-main event of the evening between Randy Couture and James Toney. This was the fight that pits a boxer(Toney) against an MMA fighter(Couture). Just as I predicted, Toney was taken to the ground(where he looks like a fish out of the water). But I didn't expect Randy to submit his ass. It is also kinda' stupid for me that Randy earned his Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu black belt(it was handed to him by his Jiu-jitsu coach during the post-fight interview) after he submitted Toney. Randy should submit a black belt too to earn his own black belt, that's what I think how it should be.

The main event surprised me again. This was a rematch between "The Answer" and "The Prodigy"(the Prodigy lost on the first one) so I expected BJ Penn to come out stronger and do a dominating performance on Edgar. Oh how stupidly mistaken my prediction was.

BJ looked like he didn't upgrade anything in his game. It actually looked like Frankie did more adjustments on his game plan. He still looked like Mighty Mouse in that he was whizzing and darting here and there. And what's more, he repeatedly took Penn down! Until earlier, no one at lightweight has actually dominated BJ Penn like that. Frankie Edgar shows us that heart and skill could shut pundits and experts(I being one of 'em) up!

(my 2 cents on)Splice

2010-08-28T23:34:00.000-07:00

I admit that I just watched this movie because there were no other movies to watch. I was quite hesitant to watch this flick because I already kinda' knew(based on the trailer alone)what will happen. And I wasn't wrong. this film really didn't leave me feelin' satisfied.

Personal feelings aside, I think this film just had one main theme. Reproduction. Or in layman's terms...SEX!

I also had the feeling that I was robbed. That's because as I've said in the beginning of this rant that I already knew what was comin' even before I witnessed the movie. It was just about "splicing" genes, that's it! They're sorta' like mixing and matching human and animal DNA/RNA(whatever!) to create a new specie. The only thing that I didn't know about was that they're actually trying to synthesize or create a new protein that could battle certain diseases.

Another "robbing" factor of this movie is the fact that it was for 2009. Or if you look on the internet, it would say "Splice(2009)". And it's already past the midway point of 2010. I should've just watched it on DVD. Too bad I don't have that option right now.

Just to get that "robbed" feeling away, I had to convince myself that I was sorta' entertained by everything. I didn't realize that Sarah Polley(who was Elsa Kast in the movie)has a li'l hotness in her. Now why the fuck did I not find that "li'l hotness" in her back in Dawn Of The Dead when she still looks virtually the same anyway?!?

Adrien Brody still looks like Raymond Bagatsing IMHO. He also looks geeky(perfect for his scientist role here). That is I think the "geeky hotness" that some females are looking for.

And I just want to add something completely irrelevant to the film. The lady who played Dren(a.k.a. "The New Specie") named Delphine Chaneac looks a lot like that chick FHM model who lives here in our subdivision named Jane Montemayor.

Being the Russian judge on this one, I give Splice a 5.5 out of a 10.

*images from IMDb and Jane Montemayor's personal Facebook account.

(my 2 cents on) Step Up 3D

2010-08-19T02:57:00.000-07:00

3D is the shizzlenit!

Now how many times have I said that shite? I dunno'. I'm just a sucker for 3D. I'm actually a sucker for many things. I can suck your blood if you wanna.

This dance movie actually made me appreciate dancers more than I actually do. I often look at 'em as "soft", but they ain't. Their moves are hardcore as shit!

Believe it or not, I actually have watched all the Step Up flicks, thanks to my dancer sister. If I recall right, Chris Brown was in the second installment. I could also clearly remember the "Matrix Breakdancing" back in Step Up 1.

Now this 3rd(and should I say final?) Step Up installment couldn't come at a more timely manner. Not with all these 3D flicks sprouting up here and there. They just decided to cash in on the whole 3D thing, which is good for me personally because my eye always craves for candies.

The plot's kinda' stale and predictable. But who gives a fuck? All I want is for my eyes to be fed visuals. And this movie didn't disappoint.

I was ooh-in' and aaah-in so loudly, but my random movie seatmates didn't bat an eyelash. They were in awe too! Especially during the 2nd battle of the World Jam Dance Battle(or somethin' like that) where they improvised while all the water was ruining their stage. The 3D glasses were drippin' wet! That's the power of 3D!

Well enough of the damned movie experience. Here are my 2 cents...

-The lead guy looked like a rugged version of Ashton Kutcher. No kiddin'! Take a look for yourself.

-Moose was kinda cute in that he could bust moves even with all the scrawniness oozin' out of him.

-The Argentinian twins were just annoyances who added international flavor. Well I guess the black guy who had a heavy Euro accent added flavor to the mix as well. But technically, he looked like an Afro-American.

-The "Robot Dude" was ridic!

-The break-dancin' kids were really cute. Too cute for my taste to be doin' those dance moves.

-The "finger dancer" during the credits was off the chain as well! I didn't know that rollin' a joint could be translated into a dance move!

This movie warrants a passing grade of 7.5 outta 10 just because of the fact that I was blown away.

image source: http://www.i-watchnow.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/Step-Up-3D-Movie-Poster.jpg

(My 2 Cents On) The Expendables

2010-08-18T23:07:00.000-07:00

Just when you thought you couldn't inject any more testosterone into a flick, then along comes this Stallone creation. Sly's a fuckin' genius! Who would've ever thought of assembling a gang of(over the hill) Hollywood action studs?!? No one this side of the Milky Way, that's who! Too bad my other faves like JCVD(Jean Claude Van-Damme for all you giblets not in the know), Chuck Norris and Steven Seagal didn't find their way into the Expendable roster.

Seemed like this movie was just about a bunch of guys who just want to hurt each other, as well as other guys. There was really no trace of a plot except for one that involves killing a former CIA agent who went rogue and now holds a small island in the Mexican Gulf named Vilena and controls the dictator there, as well as the drugs that flow out of that place.

But I really don't give a dang about any plots in this movie. I'm just a sucker for cheesy one-liners and massive explosions, plus a lot of blood!

Now let me throw in my 2 cents to the stars of this movie. Here goes...

Sylvester Stallone- could still run through the jungle like John Rambo(though not as fast). Him clashing with Dolph Lundgren brings back memories of Rocky 4.

Jason Statham- still has the 'ole Transporter moves, and the 'ole Turkish(Snatch) accent. Watching a lot of live UFC events proved to be beneficial too because he was able to infuse his MMA moves into the movie fight sequences(that goes for Stallone too, who was doin' an arm bar on Stone Cold).

Jet Li- showed traces of Once Upon A Time In China meets Romeo Must Die fight techniques. Less talk and more martial arts!

Dolph Lundgren- sounds exactly like Ivan Drago who just learnt English or somethin'. Why can't he sound like He-Man?!?

Mickey Rourke- minimum lines equals maximum effect. Less is more indeed.

Randy Couture- has probably done more Superman Punches than any other Hollywood actor in history. Also looks more "Natural"(no pun intended) than Rampage Jackson in front of a camera. Too bad A-Team didn't do as well as this flick when it was released back in June.

Terry Crews- added more muscle to the testosterone. Also busted a move(like he always does in his movies). Dancers really can't help it.

Stone Cold Steve Austin- stuck with his own Texan accent and tried to sound tough[like he always does in WWE]. A Stone Cold Stunner was actually executed in this flick. But it wasn't Austin who did it(could've been either Randy "The Natural" Couture or Jason "The Transporter" Statham).

Arnold Schwarzenegger- try and take a closer look and you will see that Arnold kinda' walks like The Terminator itself.

Bruce Willis- Mr. "Calm Demeanor" himself.

And oh! They could've picked a prettier Latina actress to play the part of the General's daughter(though I wouldn't think twice if this girl stripped right in front of me). The thing was that where were all the women in this film where all the alpha males were at?!?

And no kissing scene too? WTF?!? Stallone kinda' feinted a kiss, but that's the nearest thing to a kiss that we're ever gonna see in that movie. Too bad!

Well, that's basically my 2 cents. If you have a sharp eye, you would actually see the Nogueira twins(Minotauro and Minotouro, or probably just one of them) playin' Vilena soldiers. My guess is that Randy Couture invited 'em or something.

For all its worth, I give this a 6.5 out of a 10. A 9.9 out of 10 though for the superb casting and excessive explosions. The missin' .1 was for the MIA(missin' in actions) guys(JCVD, Chucky boy and Steven "Emotionless" Seagal).

*image source: http://www.collider.com/wp-content/uploads/The-Expendables-movie-poster1-404x600.jpg

UFC 117(afterthoughts)

2010-08-08T04:55:00.000-07:00

I admit that I was late in tuning into this fight. I was on my way home(I was somewhere in Makati, near Dela Rosa ST to be exact)when Junior Dos Santos and Roy Nelson were goin' at it.

When I got home, Stefan "The Skyscraper" Struve was battling Christian Morecraft(a UFC newcomer I believe). I didn't really watch it because only the main event mattered to me.

Next fight that I witnessed was between the Thiago Alves-Jon Fitch fight. My money was on Fitch but I was rooting for Alves. Though I knew right from the get-go that Fitch would just grind out another decision victory. Man Jon Fitch is so boring!

Then the main event came. I thought it never would. And it didn't disappoint. In fact, it exceeded expectations! I've been watching MMA now for years and years but this fight really made me say WTF because it really was a WTF moment!

If ya'll recall the Mike Russow-Todd Duffee fight, Russow was bein' schooled 'till he tagged Duffee. That is the epitome of a "come-from-behind win". Well it's the same thing with the Silva-Sonnen fight. Silva was being pounded out for majority of the fight 'till he pulled a rabbit out of his ass in the 5th round.

This fight actually showed to us that Anderson is no Superman and that wrestling is his kryptonite. Sonnen is just too good at wrestling so he's able to dictate to Silva where the fight goes. And Anderson clearly doesn't wanna be on his back. Though his elbows from underneath are pretty effective. The elbows were the reason Sonnen was all busted up after the fight.

And did I already mention that Sonnen clipped Silva twice when they were on their feet? That might be age catching up with Silva. He's beginning to slow down I guess.

The 5th round was more or less the same as what happened during the first 4 rounds. Silva gettin' pounded out and unable to get back on his feet. Then the unbelievable happened. Anderson managed to slap on a triangle choke on Sonnen while he was in full guard. Initially there was confusion because Sonnen seemed to tap, but they were still goin' at it. Referee Josh Rosenthal was trying his best to separate the 2. If he wasn't there to stop the fight, Sonnen would've been caught in another submission. He was actually trapped in an arm bar when the fight was officially stopped.

Sonnen seemed to disagree with the stoppage, but a quick glance at the instant replay proved to him otherwise. For me, that gets the nod for one of the best comebacks of all time, in whatever sport. as the cliche goes, "Never underestimate the heart of a champion". Anderson Silva is not out 'till you put him out!

The Bounty Hunter(post-viewing rant)

2010-08-08T04:12:00.000-07:00

Two words. Alpha Male.

These two words describe the UK novelty that is Gerard Butler. He is the modern day King Leonidas(who was an alpha male himself).

The plot's pretty predictable. Ex-wife who drove the ex-hubby crazy is now on the run because of felony and the ex-husband is out for revenge to get even with ex-wife and to collect bounty money. You know, that type of story.

Post-Brad Pitt Jennifer Aniston still seemed hot even in her 40's. And Mr. Butler? He is a prime alpha male specimen. I feel kinda' puny and weak when I see this guy. The only bad thing is that Gerard still chose to take on a role with his thick English accent(or Scottish or Irish or whatever. Clearly shows his non-versatility. Though I give him kudos to the fact that he's tryin' his hand at comedy and pokin' a li'l fun on himself. That's the way to go Gerard. Expand your horizons for more film offers!

The Last Airbender(formerly known as Avatar)

2010-08-08T03:44:00.000-07:00

I'm just playin' with the title. I really don't have that much to say about Aang and friends. I'm really not a hardcore fan of the animated series on Nickelodeon. Just watched some excerpts, that's all.

This film is boring. Sorry for sounding a bit harsh. But I was sleeping in 15 minute bunches and was even a li'l bit surprised to see the ending credits when I was still expecting to see some action(that I virtually missed out). And the fact that I was well-slept or rested before watching this film bears testament to how boring this film is because I never snooze when a flick is on.

Well M. Night, you're just goin' downhill I guess after you peaked in The Sixth Sense.

I also didn't like to see that many Indians in one Hollywood film(except for Slumdog Millionaire of course). 1 is enough(like in Inception). But that too many makes the Hollywood flick go Bollywood!

The Legend Of Jon Jones

2010-08-08T02:54:00.000-07:00

Jon Jones. Or more specifically, Jon "Bones" Jones. Remember that name because I predict that the simple name Jon Jones would one day go down in the annals of MMA history. I ain't jumpin' on any Jon Jones hype train or what not(I've hopped in the war wagon a long time ago). I knew how good this guy is, and it got verified ever since I saw him do a spinning back elbow strike on a fallen Stephan Bonnar. It was actually the first time that I've seen that kind of strike(I think that shit only happens in video games).

I actually saw Anderson Silva do an upward spinning elbow when he was still in Cage Rage, but he wasn't doin' it while fallin' down on an opponent. That's how good this young buck is. The scary part is that he just turned 23. Freakery!

The UFC should stop throwin' wrestlers at this guy. We all thought Matt Hamill was the better wrestler. Looked at what happened. Jon Jones may have lost(due to the 12-6 elbow strikes to Matt's head), but he was winning that fight. for me, that loss means shit.

Brandon Vera was supposed to be the better wrestler when he was faced with Jones. He was also supposed to be the more technical striker. Look at what happened to Vera. Another disappointing loss.

And now, Matyushenko was supposed to be Jon Jones' toughest test. Though for me, the Brandon Vera dismantling was Jon Jones' comin' out party. Well goin' back, they all said that Matyushenko's experience will surely give Jon Jones a run for his money. They all should've thought otherwise.

Bones just wrestled Matyushenko with ease. He outstruck him too prior to that(obviously, just as expected). Then after some scrambling and grapplilng, Bones caught The Janitor(the Matyushenko moniker, which is easier to type)in a crucifix position. Now for me the crucifix and the full nelson are the rarest grappling positions that fighters end up in. And here was Jones stickin' it to The Janitor with relative ease!

After the trappage(wherein The Janitor's head was trapped in an undefendable[if there even is such a word]position), Jones then proceeded to dish some vicious elbows to Matyushenko's head. Poor Janitor. Ref Herb Dean wouldn't allow that kind of punishment to unnecessarily continue, he promptly stopped the fight.

Knowing that Bones was a former JUCO national wrestling champ, the UFC should now just throw him a top 5er. I know they're trying to slowly build him up because Jones is still young, but I guess it's time. This kid is just too dang good!

Cheers to the future!

The Siakol Experience

2010-08-08T02:12:00.000-07:00

There was this gig at school that I attended. It was mostly attended by young kids who were there to get acquainted or whatever.

Anyway, the sole purpose of my attendance to that blasted gig was to witness Siakol. as far as I could remember, I've never witnessed ''em live. And I had fun growin' up in the 90's listening to "Peksman", "Bakit Ba", "Lakas Tama", and other "Squatter Rock" songs as I call it. It was all good back in the day!

So there I was, thinkin' that I was late to witness Siakol. It was a rainy 8:30 evenin'. Good thing it was just the front acts(not my band) playin' so I felt relief sweep all over me.

The band that I watched were from UST named Publiko or somethin'. I was amazed at their perseverance because they were just a 3-piece band. We all know how hard it is holding the musical fort when there are only 3 of you doin' it. But there they were playin' still. Though I wasn't in love with their sound or whatever. They just looked good to me because they were a power trio, and that's about it.

The next band was named Orange Cartel, and they sucked IMO. They were virtually the same band, except that the guitarist/vocalist of Publiko switched to bass and another guitarist joined on board while another vocalist joined the fray, doin' annoying antics.

While all that was happenin', I went out first to eat. I decided not to return when I heard this band onstage doin' covers of COld Play and The Killers. That just sapped my energy right there. I was thinkin', "When the fuck are Siakol gonna play?!?"

Then the next band was announced. It was the Urbandub peeps. They kinda entertained me because I knew most of the songs that they played. And they were humble. Well they should be, because they're gettin' paid. We're paying to see 'em. But I guess that's just the way they are. good for 'em.

Then the gay emcees fucked up. They told the audience that Siakol was up next, when in fact it was Mayonnaise who was about to get onstage. Fuck those faggots! Honestly, "Jopay" and "Sinungaling" were the only songs that I kinda' knew the lyrics to. Thanks to the masa radio stations where these songs are heavily played.

Then the finale came. It was really very fitting, because they were like the main event or something. Too bad for the losers who went home after Dub and Mayonnaise played. They didn't get to witness one of the pillars of 90's Pinoy rock.

The problem was that it's these youngsters who were in attendance. They were probably still suckin' on their mother's tits when Siakol's old-school songs were bein' played in the airwaves. They can't sing to the lyrics of the song while the Siakol classics were bein' played. Only a handful of us old school thugs were joining the Siakol fray. I could see the disappointed face of Siakol's vocalist light up a little everytime he hears us sing-along to their songs.

Long live Siakol! That's all I could say.

The Sorcerer's Apprentice(post-movie rant)

2010-07-30T22:36:00.000-07:00

I didn't see this flick because it was from Walt Disney Studios. I didn't see it because it was produced by Jerry Bruckheimer. I didn't see it because I became fully aware of Nicolas Cage's Hollywood presence during Face-Off and has watched quite a lot of his films ever since. I saw it because of Alfred Molina. Call me weird, but I'm a big fan.

Taking all seriousness aside, this film helped me relax on a Friday night(which is a rarity these days). You can count on the money well spent on the effects and stuff because of Jerry B's production shit. Plus Disney animators also had a hand. But special effects don't shock me anymore that much nowadays. Everybody's doin' it(even here, though it's all crappy animation), but I'm just appreciating it. Love eye candies, in any form!

Seems like Disney's cashing in by making a perfectly timed product placement at the beginning of the movie. They just threw in a shot of a Buzz Lightyear alarm clock buzzing David Stittler(Jay Baruchel) awake back in the day(sometime in the year 2000). Clever Disney eh...

Thanks to Nicolas Cage's long hair, he nicely pulled off the Balthazar Blake wizard role. I was waiting for him to drop one of his funny one-liners(like the ones in Bangkok Dangerous) all night long.

Monica Belluci still looks just as old(or as young I should say) as when she was the Merovingian's wife in Matrix Reloaded. Man those Italian cougars sure could be waxing hot!

David(Baruchel) really looks like a nerdy geek. He doesn't look like the Grand Merlinian at all. But kudos to him because he performed one of the song's of the film's OST(caught it during the credits) entitled "I'm Awesome" or something. Good to see One Republic and Jimmy Eat World on the OST too.

Maxim Horvath(Alfred Molina) isn't really trying to be funny(I bet he's seriously trying to be evil, like Doc Ock), but seems that way especially when teamed up with the Criss Angel like magician in the film named Drake Stone(Toby Kebbell). The Star Wars reference really made me laugh. Horvath did a hypnotic mind trick to this front desk person at David's school by saying, "You do not need to see my identification card" when Drake suddenly blurted out, "These are not the droids you're looking for"[Obi-Wan Kenobi tricking a Storm Trooper into not checking R2D2 and C3PO]. Now that may be nothing to you guys, but that shit's hilarious for a Star Wars addict like me.

Teresa Palmer(Becky Barnes in the flick) looks like a so-so actress with promising potential. If there's such a thing, that's her.

All in all, I rate this flick 3.5 out of 5. Thank Alfred Molina and friends for that.

Inception(post-movie rant)

2010-07-24T07:10:00.000-07:00

What can I say? I'm stumped! This flick is the shizzlenit! It's a thinkin' man's movie. If you're left with zero questions when this film ends, that doesn't mean that you are a movie expert. That means you can't understand shit because you can't comprehend a single thing that's happenin'!

Well anyway, I could go on forever explaining what the hell happened and everything. But I can't, because this film has a lot of intricate complexities. I admit that it's more complex than The Matrix. I could actually compare this to The Matrix(with the Architect and other stuff like that). I could say that "Inception is the new Matrix". Without the "Geta-Zone" shots of course. But still, Inception's effects were eye candy to say the least.

Christopher Nolan is a thinkin' man's director. He made my mind work in The Prestige and Dark Knight(hence, the familiar Batman Begins/Dark Knight faces in Inception like Cillian["Kill-Yan"]Murphy and Michael Cain), but I didn't really expect him to make my mind work this much in this movie. Damn Inception! I'm still hung-over. This rant was due a week ago, but I'm just waiting to exhale after the movie. In fact, I will watch this again this coming Sunday! But first, I must watch The Sorcerer's Apprentice and The Last Airbender. Fuck Salt for now.

All I can say is that I give this movie a perfect 10 out of 10 due to the fact that it was all Nolan. Well DiCaprio was pretty impressive too. I haven't watched Blood Diamond yet but my couch tomato bro told me that Leo's acting chops started to sharpen up in this movie. I hope Orlando Bloom's acting goes the same direction as Leonardo's.

Another thing, I'm Asian. And so is Ken Watanabe. 'Nuff said!

Rakrakan Series XXII (post-gig afterthoughts)

2010-07-21T02:58:00.000-07:00

I actually didn't finish this gig all the way(I only wanted to check Wilabaliw out), but it felt like I didn't miss a thing. I wasn't on time, but I still managed to watch a lot of bands!

The first band I witnessed on stage when I got there was this band from Cavite named Balatek. My ex-girlfriend Eka told me tales about how "manyak" one of Balatek's band members were. Imagine that dude askin' Eka out to a motel or something. Well that's how Eka puts it. In any case, Balaek had a heavy sound, which was consolation enough.

Second band was Franco. Of course, they rocked again because of their all-star line up.

Arcadia was the 3rd band that I witnessed. I actually forgot how they sounded.

The Chongkeys as usual, delivered the goods. With Eagle Man this time. I believe it was the 2nd time I've seen that guy, dancing in his boxers and shit.

Saydie was there again. Honestly, I don't know a single song, but their vocalist(I believe her name's Kat Taylor or somethin') can really belt it out!

Paramita played when the crowd was sort of thinning and some rocker kids were already sleepy. And they didn't give me the CD that I deserve because I came from afar, ever farther than the kids that got the CD who came from Las Pinas, which is just a stone's throw away compared to where I came from(Cainta).

Slapshock was playing when we(Melody, Mica and Ryan) went out to Andok's to eat some grub. The bouncers weren't gonna let us re-enter the venue(because of the stupid policy that once you're in, there's no going out) but thanks to my savvy sales-talk, we got in again.

Typecast once again played their own brand of emo. But I guess since it's a new decade, emo is gonna be out of style pretty soon.

Kwjan was ready to rumble that night. It's very rare that I get to watch schoolmate Marc Abaya and gang play. And I was also kinda' shocked because it was Wendell(former BArbie's Cradle and current Pupil drummer) and not J-Hoon who was doin' the drumming chores for the band. Either way, both are top-tier drummers so it makes no difference. I just like J-Hoon's "techno" drumming style more than Wendell's and Vic's.

The last band that I witnessed was the band that I was waiting for. Wilabaliw was the shizzlenit! Ian was kinda' cool. I fuckin' didn't know that Ian's Keso bandmates were Ryan's long time friends! If I knew, then I'd always be backstage right?!? Well anyway, Ian's kinda' cool. I verified if Keso was already disbanded. He said don't believe anything that I hear from others. I should get the scoop straight from the man himself!

Anyway, there I was on stage watching Wilabaliw, when the bassist's strap suddenly snapped so he was suddenly kneeling while playing. Then some dude told me to go get some help and find a strap. I just looked away, thinkin', "Why the fuck don't you go get it yourself?!"(Bat 'di nalang ikaw kumuha kaya?).

That's my Rakrakan Series XXII experience. Hope to see you guys again on the next rakrakan series. Special thanks to Bong, The Neils, Andren, Mac(od) for taking care of me. You know, the bag and ice and everything...

Cinemalaya 2010(Short Film Category) - [post-viewing rant]

2010-07-21T02:11:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Natalie(Mica's friend and one of the director's "girlfriends"), Mica and I got in for free. We were almost late, but it was all worth it.

First short flick was "Harang(Barriers)" by Mikhail Red. I dunno if he's in any way related to another director named Raymond Red. Honestly, I don't give a fuck because I personally didn't like the flick. It was full of drama or somethin', not my cup 'o tea.

There was also a flaw of some sort during the opening scene, where the camera was just facing the ground while the jeepney was moving on a bumpy road. As the camera was sort of panning along the ground, the shot abruptly transitioned to a shot of the sky. And what's worse, the audio was sorta' cut too! Our director friend Hubert Tibi(the man responsible for our tix I believe) told me that the digital camera can't handle it. But I think that it was just lousy editing. But I dunno, maybe Mr. Red really intended it to be that way. We'll never know.

The second flick was by Hubert himself entitled "Hay Pinhod Oh Ya Scooter(I Want To Have A Bicycle)"[bicycle should be scooter IMO] and it was pretty good. It was spoken in a Banaue dialect, and was narrated by an Englishman I believe(I could detect the accent). I liked many parts of it. Tomas spoke in a cute way every time he says the word "scooter". Miley Cyrus was also a resounding figure in the flick. And I fuckin' knew that it was marijuana that the kid protagonist(I can't recall the exact name of the kid, sorry)was feeding Pukok the pig.

"Lola" by Joey Agbayani was also a novelty to watch. The animation though wasn't up to par with Pixar or anything like that. But you can see the effort. Though we still have a loooong way to go. In any case, I don't really know if the director was gay, a butch girl or whatnot. I'm just fuckin' confused, but it was kinda funny.

The short flick that stole the show was entitled "P" by Rommel Tolentino. It was funny and the main protagonist was pretty good in his acting. I kinda' saw myself in him when I was a li'l kid. I can't really describe the flick because one has to watch this shit to know what the fuck I'm talking about.

"Wag Kang Titingin" by Pam Miras was pretty so-so. The video quality was grainy. I don't know what camera was used to shoot that short film, but it was kinda' crappy. Though the li'l girl who was in it was cute. I actually met the kid after the show and gave her a high 5.

After that, we downed some beer. And the rest was history...

Eclipse(post-viewing rant)

2010-07-07T05:15:00.000-07:00

Haven't read the book yet(I'm not even done yet with Twilight), but still I wanna share my 2 cents.

Jacob the Indian Boy(Taylor Lautner) looked really roided up! Good for him though that he has put the smack down on Bella Swan's(Kristen Stewart's) lips. Yummy!

Robert Pattinson would feel just as jealous as Edward Cullen in real life because I think the 2(Kristen and Robert) are romantically linked in real life too. Well what do I know. I'm always lagging way behind sometimes when it comes to Hollywood scoops that I ain't interested about.

A li'l bit more vampire battle scenes would have made this movie more appealing to me. I only watch the film and read the book just to look for my own personal vampire adrenaline rush. Like in the movie Interview With The Vampire, I was looking for more scenes where Lestat and Louis were running around so fast, zipping in and out of focus. That's what the fuck I am looking for. The "vampire moments". More of that please on the last 2 installments. Thank you!

Argentina will win next time...

2010-07-07T04:49:00.000-07:00

Too bad the Maradona-coached team was thrashed by Germany 4-0. I really didn't think that'll happen. I was predicting more like Argentina 4, Germany-2, or something along those lines. Oh well, Spain needs all the firepower and defense it could muster to beat the well-oiled German war machine.

Good thing that the soothsayer octopus in Germany picked Spain to win against Deutschland later. That octopus has a very high percentage when it comes to picking World Cup winners. It even picked the Serbians to win against the Germans back in their Group D battles.

Knight And Day(post-viewing afterthouhgts)

2010-07-07T04:08:00.000-07:00

I didn't know that at $20.5 million, the total weekend box office take for Knight And Day was the worst result for an action film starring Tom Cruise in 20 years. Well I understand that this action wouldn't match all the Mission Impossible installments, so what's new?

The thing was that I didn't expect this movie to have so many bad reviews. Heck, it was even compared to the movie Killers! That's how bad it is. But what do critics know anyway? Good thing too that I didn't waste any money on Killers. And I admit that I enjoyed Knight And Day more than Eclipse to tell you honestly.

My favorite part of the flick was when June Havens(Cameron Diaz) was explaining to her ex-boyfriend/firefighter Rodney(Marc Blucas) that Roy Miller(Tom Cruise) was the guy that she was talking about, and then Roy Miller suddenly shows up and says, "I'm the guy!", after Cameron mumbled, "He's the guy...", to ROdney. Funny shit! He started to become funny to me since Tropic Thunder(as the enigmatic and villainous Les Grossman) came out. Hopefully it all snowballs from here.

In a broader perspective, the plot's a li'l stale for me. The spy shit that happens in movies sometimes doesn't do it for me anymore. It was a li'l cool though that he's the rogue type.

Overall, a nice flick to just sit back and relax to...

The End of the Beginning(of the End) of Fedor

2010-07-07T03:12:00.000-07:00

Many of us here might not know who Fedor is. I mean, the average Joe(or Juan or Buboy or whatever...)would just stop and say, "Who the fuck is Fyodor Emelianenko?!?!"

I would say, "Oh he's just a nobody, who's just defeated around 30 opponents(top of the food chain quality for some, who boast UFC and Pride belts) and had one loss due to DQ via a nasty cut. But the bastard could still fight. It's just that fuckin' scar tissue thing(he's been punched and cut too many times).

Anyway, there I was, just living my life coolly, when news of the loss came. It was like a blow to me. I mean, Fedor was like God(sorry for the comparison Master God!:))in the MMA world. He's the reason why Randy Couture left the UFC in the first place. It's not about the movies Randy's been making(I believe he was making the sequel to The Scorpion King that time, and watch out for him too in The Expendables ,comin' out this August). It's not about the women and his personal life(I personally believe he's banging Gina Carano, witwiw!). It's about glory!

And glory can be attained by fighting the demi-god Fedor (a.k.a. "The Last Emperor", alyas "The Russian Experiment"). But someone has already beaten Randy to glory. In the form of Fabricio Werdum. The lucky bastard! The name Werdum would now and forever echo in the annals of MMA history. He will forever be known as the man who made Fedor's experiment an epic failure.

In this fight, you can clearly see what Brazilian Jiu-jitsu, or BJJ, brings to the table. Now Fedor is no slouch in the grappling department. He's a multiple combat sambo world champion, and is therefore well-versed on the ground. But Werdum's level of BJJ is just a notch higher than Fedor's sambo, so when Fedor went to the ground and entered Werdum's guard, it was all downhill from there.

Fedor has escaped numerous submission attempts in the past. But a simple slap of a triangle choke by Werdum just made Fedor tap out irritably. It was like a miracle. Somebody stopping The Last Emperor himself. Some say that it's the beginning of the end for him. But I say it's all just an end towards a new beginning. This loss will only galvanize this fighting machine. He'll be back, like the Terminator.

Toy Story 3[3D]/Or just plain ole' Toy Story 3D[afterthoughts...]

2010-07-07T02:36:00.000-07:00

This is perhaps my favorite Toy Story installment, due to the fact that it made me cry. Plus it's also in 3D. Nothing beats 3D man, not even HDTV or LED or whatever the fuck that shit's called.

I loved[I always love stuff] how the opening scene played out. You know, like a western-style action flick, with Woody and Buzz Lightyear of course being the heroes. The method of killing chosen by the piggy bank(Dr. Evil Mr. Porkchop) was totally hilarious too if you think of it enough. Death by monkeys! You're gonna fuckin' die via a sea of red monkeys!

I believe my favorite character is Rex just because his character is the anti-thesis of what a T-Rex should be. And the voice seems so fitting.

Barbie and Ken played a cute couple. And it's funny how Ken denies to death that he's a girl's toy. But I don't know a single male boy playing with a Ken doll. The li'l male faggs maybe. So fuck Ken!

Lots-'O-Huggin' Bear(a.k.a. "Lotso") reminds me a lot about the Teddy Ruxpin(did I spell that right?) Teddy Bear on TV when I was a li'l boy(a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...). I didn't have one though.

Mr. Potato Head's body parts on a pita bread had my sides bursting, and him as a cucumber had me laughing as well.

And lastly, for all we know, Buzz Lightyear could've been voiced over by none other than Sly Stallone!

The A-Team

2010-06-12T18:22:00.000-07:00

All I can say was that this movie was worth the wait. It was really nostalgic to hear the original A-Team theme bein' played over and over in the movie.

Hannibal was well played by Qui-Gon Jinn Liam. A leader he definitely was , just like George Peppard. But here, instead of bein' 4 Vietnam vets, they're Iraq vets! Oh the times they are a-changin'!

Face(Bradley Cooper) was a comic relief(remember The Hangover?) and Jessica Biel was hot! Plus I somehow knew that the original Face Peck(Dirkk Benedict) was the other guy who was doin' a tan and Cooper asked him, "How do you protect your face?". Or somethin' to that effect.

And I can't recall Murdock(Sharlto Copley) bein' that crazy. But at least he flies a good chopper! The real Howlin' Mad Murdock(Dwight Schultz) also made a cameo by playin' Murdock's neurologist. I understand that George Peppard can't make a cameo because he's dead, but why didn't Mr.T make a cameo too?

Quinton "Rampage" Jackson just somehow barely pulled off playin' BA Baracus. For one, he's virtually a Hollywood movie virgin. And secondly, he didn't make a clear effort imitating the bad-ass accent that Mr-T has and instead, opted to carry a Memphis, TN accent. Man he didn't even get to say, "I ain't gettin' in no plain fool!" Sacha Baron Cohen did a better job impersonating BA Baracus in Ali G In The House, or some other Sacha movie.

All in all, I give this movie a 4 out of 5 stars. I was expecting a floppish(if there's such a word) remake. But this one clearly exceeds expectations!

Yuri Foreman VS Miguel Cotto

2010-06-09T09:15:00.000-07:00

I really didn't know that the Yuri Foreman-Miguel Cotto fight was goin' down 'till I saw the fight before the main event.

In all honesty, I didn't give a rat's ass about all the undercards. I just wanted to see how Cotto would fare at super-welterweight(his true weight class) after Pacman demolished him at welterweight. Plus I'm also curious as to how the taller Foreman would match up stylistically because I'm still kinda' in the dark with regards to his fighting style.

In all fairness, Foreman was pretty good. In fact, he was better than pretty good. He was actually picking Cotto apart for a couple of rounds. He was quick for his size, with impressive footwork to boot!

Unfortunately, Foreman slipped and somehow sprained his ankle in the 7th. His knee was sorta' damaged to begin with because he was already wearing this knee brace for the fight. So the pitiful Foreman hobbled miserably while the rejuvenated Cotto just capitalized.

In round 8, Cotto just continued to brutalize the limping Foreman, which prompted Yuri's corner to throw in the towel(the 1st I've seen since Apollo Creed's corner threw in the towel during the Ivan Drago fight).

But there was no quit in Foreman. Just as we thought the fight was about to end, it resumed because Foreman said so! Unfortunately, the fight was stopped by the referee in round number 9.

End result: Cotto via TKO(referee stoppage)

UFC 114 (post-fight analysis)

2010-06-02T03:59:00.000-07:00

I really didn't get to watch the preliminary undercards, but I've heard that Luiz Banha Cane lost to France Cyrille Diabaté. For you giblets not in the know, Cane I think was the person that sent Sokodjou packing from the UFC. He was stupid enough to leave it to the judges' scorecards.

I also didn't get to watch Amir Sadollah vs. Dong Hyun "Stun Gun" Kim and the Efrain Escudero vs. Dan Lauzon matches. Boooo!

The only preliminary undercard that I got to view was the one shown on PPV, the Melvin "The Young Assassin" Guillard VS Waylon Lowe match. Greg Jackson's camp really does wonders for any fighter, especially for Melvin. I realized with Melvin that any dangerous striker with decent take-down defense would kill anyone. Wrestling with all the Greg Jackson wrestlers sure paid dividends for Guillard. And I liked him calling out Li'l Heathen after the fight. WAR GUILLARD!

Now the first main card fight was really an upset. I knew Hathaway was a sleeper, but was foolish enough not to bet on him. His long reach and height was the difference. Diego "The Nightmare" Sanchez wasn't fast enough to get inside Hathaway's pocket, therefore was constantly peppered with counters. Poor Diego. His skills are declining I believe while young up-and-comers like Hathaway are increasing their skills exponentially.

Second stop was the Todd Duffee-Mike Russow fight. Now if there was such a thing as a freak KO, this was it. First time that I've seen anything like it. Even color-commentator Joe Rogan said that it's the strangest KO that he has seen in over a thousand fights. Todd was peppering Mike Russow from the 1st 'till the 3rd round, 'till he got caught. Mike Russow gave a right hook, or overhand, which hit Duffee's temple, sending him to the canvass. He was even complaining to the ref that he wasn't out, when he was! His arms stiffened. I saw it. Time to end it.

3rd main card fight of the night was the Dan Miller (Miller Time!) and Michael Bisping bout. I was pulling for Miller, and he technically looked good standing up with Bisping. Now Miller has a better ground game than Bisping. Problem was that he couldn't take Bisping down. Another mistake was that he kept on circling towards Bisping's power right, so he ate a lot of it, costing him some points (or rather, earning Bisping some points) from the judges. In the end, Bisping won the UD.

The co-main event was also quite entertaining. Jason Brilz just stepped in on 4 week's notice as a late replacement for Forrest Griffin against Antonio Rogerio Nogueira (Minotauro's younger twin bro). This fight was the first time that I saw someone doin' the crucifix on another fighter (you only get to see this shit in WWE or something). Rogerio crucifixed Brilz and was hammer-fisting his face.In all fairness, Brilz did a good job and seemed to put the pressure on Rogerio and seemed to win it all. But Nogueira's name won him the fight via split-decision. It's very controversial, especially if you look at fightmetric.com. All the shots landed, plus octagon control stats are there.

Now for the main event, it was the opposite of what Shad and Page said they would do to each other. Rampage seemed flat-footed, while Rashad was just cat-quick. I believe that due to all the explosiveness and plyometric training that Rashad was doing, he maybe just as fast as Lyoto Machida, or even faster! Stupid Rampage, didn't finish him off when he had the chance in the 3rd round, which had me screaming hysterically. Shad was clearly on queer street, but Rampage didn't capitalize and instead, just jumped around like a fool. I thought the Rampage pick was a lock. Now I only got the Nogueira pick right! What a douche...

Rakista Jam (Goodbye Dayo Bar Gig)

2010-06-02T03:10:00.000-07:00

I'm sad to say this, but Dayo bar is now gone with the wind. I really didn't know how to react when Ridz (a.k.a. "Rakista.com Mastermind) texted me about the last gig at Dayo. I mean, Dayo Bar itself evokes a lot of memories from my wasted mind. My first Rakista Jam was here at Dayo. I was fucking devirginized by this bar when it comes to Rakista Jams.

This place was also where I first met most of the online members. We would slug it out in the chat room and stuff. But here inside the bar, we were all friends. All tensions are gone when in this bar.

Well enough of the reminiscing. Let's get it on with the usual stuff...

I arrived at Dayo, dripping in blood, err sweat. Now once inside, my sweat just multiplied exponentially! That's one of Dayo's flaws. The poorly ventilated interior. Man I can't even sometimes stand to hang out in Rozmic's corner (the usual one that they sit at by the back door entrance) even if there's an electric fan blowin' at us. I always tend to stand by the door.

Of course, some familiar faces were once again met, like Mikki, Allan, Bochok (w/Bikwa), Chang, Dixx, Ichie (skipping emceeing duties, hehe!;)), Flare(I forgot her name, but Allan introduced us a long time ago, told 'ya I'm not good at remembering names!), Ridz (who didn't look that busy), Ehmz and her friend Van(who I'm not really close with), JC and Riez, Banban(or something like that, from the Smart Text Clan), Yummy Dingding, "the other guy with the camera(I have a feeling that he's the co-founder of Rakista.com or somethin')", Mac(kod), Tseng (from the MIddle East), Mika (akim) and Tim (Rivermaya sessionist), and many many more(sorry if my memory lapses sometimes)!

And special mention to for we all have witnessed the return of Jay (a.k.a. "brutaljhay"). The only pulutan that I ate during that gig was from him, a pack of cornick named "Karoke" (with a singing bee or something singing in a karaoke, hence, "karoke"). I wonder where Lexxie is, hehehe!

Intolerant rocks!! Sorry, couldn't pass up on that one.

Hopefully, Ridz and company get to find another bar that's just as accessible as Dayo. I will miss that bar so much.

Prince Of Persia: Sands Of Time

2010-06-01T06:09:00.000-07:00

All the hype was worth the wait. I guess it would've been better if I've watched this in 2.7D. But even if it was just in plain old 2D, I still enjoyed every single moment of the film.

For one, I feel quite nostalgic just reading the title of the movie. I bore witness, and played the 1st installment of this game waaay back in the day, when PC monitors could handle mostly white and gray colors only. Now it's on Blu-ray! (just kiddin'!)

Another thing that made me enjoy this movie quite a lot was the "parkour-like" moves that Jake Gyllen-ho was pulling off. I mean, just the sight of the young Dastan (Gyllenhaal)jumping off of roofs and walls evoked memories of Banlieu 13 (the ultimate parkour movie).

Now on to the celebrity sightings...

I liked Alfred Molina (one of my personal favorites) and his acting chops. Same thing with Sir Ben K!

I swore that Persia's eldest prince named Tus (Richard Coyle) was played by the same guy who played Eomer (Karl Urban) in Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers. Turns out otherwise, thanks to IMDB.

And oh! I loved Tamina's cleave shot! I knew she was the same girl who played the "girl guide" to Perseus in Clash Of The Titans (the recent one of course). I forget names a lot, but I never forget a face!

And finally, Gyllenho was just bein' Gyllenho...

Robin Hood (post-movie rant)

2010-05-15T20:40:00.000-07:00

When someone (I forgot if it was the sheriff or King John) in the movie mentioned “Robin of the hood…”, did he mean that Robin Longstride was from the hood? As in “The” hood? Like an inner-city thang? Hahaha! Just messin’!

Ok, first off, how does Cate Blanchett manage to reverse the aging process? It seems like she has the “Benjamin Button Syndrome” wherein she looks younger and younger as she grows older. Man she even seemed hot to me! Though I didn’t really consider her hot before. Switching Siena Miller for Cate Blanchett didn’t seem like a bad idea after all. It was said that Siena was too skinny for Russell Crowe. But I really wouldn’t mind.

Russell Crowe didn’t look like a Jerkus Maximus on this one. However, he looked like a gladiator still. I guess it has somethin’ to do with that middle-aged body-type or somethin’.

Out of the 4 “main” Merry Men (and that includes Friar Tuck[Mark Addy]) that I noticed in this flick, only 3 of them looked familiar. As I’ve said, the fat friar, Scott Grimes (that guy that played Malarkey in Band Of Brothers) as Will Scarlet who is Robin’s nephew, and Kevin Durand (not the Durantula from the NBA, that other angel dude that battled Paul Bettany in Legion)as Little John.

Sir Godfrey (Mark Strong) also looked familiar for he is the same guy that played the bad guy in Kick-Ass, Archy in RocknRolla, and Lord Henry Blackwood in Sherlock Holmes. I actually cheered when Robin Hood, blood drippin’ from his eyes and all, did a successful head shot as Sir Godfrey was tryin’ to escape.

The person that played King John (Oscar Isaac) was pretty good. Not only he, but the other barons and dukes were also launching spittle while arguing about somethin’ that he was burning towards the end of the flick. The reason why he looked familiar was that he was the dude that played the interpreter in Che.

My take on this is that I think it was another perfect example of a film adaptation. They don’t care if they follw the story by the book (no pun intended). They alter a lot of things, and truthfully, I really don’t give a damn. As long as I am satisfied with what’s happenin’, then it’s all good. Nothin’s real in a movie anyway.

UFC 113 (post-fight rant)

2010-05-09T01:18:00.001-07:00

I didn't get to see the start of the fights. I only saw Alan Belcher dismantling Patrick Cote with a rear naked choke. Very cool of Belcher to call out Anderson Silva!

Kimbo Slice showed us once again why he's better off in youtube than on a UFC PPV.

My bets Sam "Hands Of Stone" Stout and Paul "Semtex" Daley all lost decisions to their respective opponents (Jeremy "Li'l Heathen" Stephens and Josh Koscheck respectively). But the biggest bet that I lost was to Mauricio "Shogun" Rua. Man he ruined the night for me.

Yes I know the terror that he was back in the Pride days. But I was really assuming that Machida Karate would reign supreme for a few more years. I was wrong. Muay Thai is still king!

Seems like Machida never really adjusted that much for their second outing. Shogun was really in there to end Lyoto's reign. He released all that pent-up anger and frustration that he's been harboring for 6 months and unleashed everything on The Dragon. Man did you see the mice under MAchida's eye? He was demolished!

There goes my Php200...

Working Girls (post-movie afterthoughts)

2010-05-08T23:52:00.000-07:00

Honestly, I don't even remember the original Working Girls movie (with Rio Locsin, Carmi Martin, Gina Pareno, and some other hag). Nonetheless, I could relate very easily to this modern version.

It looked like this modern version was just a waste, but people like me have learned to appreciate the li'l things.

Like comedy for instance. I was laughing out loud most of the time at Eugene Domingo and Antonio Aquitania's antics. Eugene kept mentioning that his kids were studying "At the Ateneo..". As an Atenean, I find that funny because I can fuckin' relate all too well. My parents also had a hard time (and I salute them) lettin' us study in that exclusive school. I won;t be the man that I am today if it wasn't for that top-flite Jesuit education.

I didn't know that Ricky Davao also had funny fluids runnin' in his system. I thought before when I was a kid that he was evil because of his roles in film and TV. But he clearly made me laugh on this one. I am easy too please anyway, hence the laughter.

Lots of hot girls runnin' loose in this film. If you consider Ruffa Gutierrez hot, then count her as a hottie in this film.Carmi Martin is still hot though. As far as I can remember, her face still remains the same! I've been watching her since I was like 5 years old or somethin'. Must be the botox.

Eula Valdez is still spankin'! At 40-somethin' years of age, she still looks like she's 28 or somethin'. Definitely cougar material!

Jennylyn Mercado and Carlo Aquino looked like the prototypical call center agents who flirt around each other even if they have a kid (Jennylyn Mercado) or they are in a relationship (Carlo Aquino). But still, Jennylyn could still cut it as a hot mom. It's her glasses that made her look dorky, and not in a hot and Tina Fey-esque kinda' way.

Cristine Reyes played the role of Carlo Aquino's slutty girlfriend who went out with rich and powerful men. I remembered having a girlfriend like this before. And take note, I was the same midnight-shifty agent that Carlo was in this movie. So I was really able to relate in that aspect.

Katya Santos played the "kabet" (mistress) roommate of Cristine. She still is hot and I'd bang those boobs any fuckin' time of day!

Andrea Del Rosario looked like a fish. She was just sexy before that was why she could cut it as hot. But you also have to bank on face value if you wanna' last in the showbiz industry.

Iza Calzado was just plain old Iza Calzado to me. You could actually cut out Calzado's part, as well as Jao Mapa's (he played Iza's ex) and it wouldn't make any difference!

Mylene Dizon is on her way to manang-hood. She looks a lot older. LJ Moreno looked hotter than her IMHO.

I loved Cherie Gil's English accent. Seems more polished than her "You're nothing but a second rate, trying hard, copycat!"

Bianca King seems like a smart girl to me. I thought that she was just an airhead like Marian (as you know, beauty is usually inversely proportional to brains). Seems like she's more articulate than I give her credit for. Plus the fact that she's hot, brings an added plus. Good for Champ! Go get 'em tiger!

If there's an actor/actress who I forgot to mention, no apologies!

The Break Up (not the Vince Vaughn-Jen Aniston flick)

2010-05-03T01:42:00.000-07:00

My girlfriend for over a year just broke up with me. But I don't consider myself broke. I'm just thinking, why are they all dumping me?! No matter what I do, it's deja-vous! No matter how hard I try bein' the boyfriend material type, I just don't cut it. Maybe I'm really meant to be a bachelor for life! I really don't know what God has in store for me, but we'll see. A model a year ain't bad either. ;)

Mayweather VS Mosley, Who R U Picking (post-fight rant)

2010-05-03T00:57:00.000-07:00

Watching Mayweather fight is just like watching Anderson Silva fight. He makes the sweet science look so simple and elementary. No matter what the haters say about Money, that guy's a genius! Doesn't matter whatever trash-talk or controversy that he's in when he's outside the ring for he has an extremely high boxing IQ when inside the ring.

Mayweather's Mosley was like Pacquiao's Cotto. Both were said to be the toughest tests for the 2 greats (Pac and Money) at welterweight. Both Sugar and Cotto were said to press the action and be aggressive against their respective opponents. And both were destroyed!

Both Mosley and Cotto faded during the later rounds. Instead of bein' aggressors, they were back-peddling (did I spell that shit right? too lazy to google it up). The difference was that Mosley was gassing! Age really is a factor in combat sports, no doubt about that, except for a few exceptions (like Couture and B-Hop).

Money was really like a master at work. He dissected Mosley after he was rocked in the 2nd. I was really shouting because I thought the unthinkable was gonna' happen. Somebody would knock Floyd the fuck out! I was wrong.

Floyd's a thinking man's fighter. He sucked it up and made Mosley fight his fight. He won't be dictated by the aging pugilist. He picked his spots, picked his angles, and did so while moving forward! I could imagine Money stickin' and movin' but moving forward and forcing the action? I admit it was the first time I remembered Floyd doin' that strategy.

The beauty in all of this is that Floyd was doin' all of this while wasting no energy. his movements were all very minimal. And yet he's as explosive as fuck! He can stop at a dime, then explode! That's how he picks his angles. Unlike Pacquiao who bounces around when doin' angles, this dude just stops and flashes! Everytime Mosley was countering, he was gone in .60 seconds. Then he would reappear with that jab with such blinding hand speed! That Floyd is really a freak of nature! A thoroughbred athlete!

With all that said, I'm now doubting if Pacman can stop this guy. Floyd's too smart to get outsmarted by any living boxer out there! I would put him on the level of a Sugar Ray Robinson when it comes to boxing IQ. He's a counter-puncher who could suddenly turn into a brawler when he sees the situation fit. Pacman has never-ending cardio, so it doesn't really matter if he bounces around for 12 rounds. But the fact that Floyd doesn't bounce around means that more energy is in store for him in the later rounds if they do face in the ring. Pacman does have weapons to beat Floyd at his own game like quick footwork and fast hands. But Floyd has that too! It's virtually a toss-up!

If I am a betting man, my heart would say Pacman but my wallet would say Money. Both are the real deal, but IMHO, Floyd's just on another level. They didn't place him as the former #1 Pound-for-Pound for nothing.

The Soloist (post-viewing rant)

2010-05-01T14:10:00.000-07:00

I've been meaning to watch this flick since July, 2009. However, due to a series of unfortunate events, it was delayed for quite some time, 'till now. Thanks be to God for that!

Robert Downey Jr. did a good job portraying Steve Lopez, an LA Times columnist. But Jamie Foxx's portrayal of the soloist (Nathaniel Ayers) was so stellar that it blew everyone else's performances away! I knew Foxx's acting capability so much that I wasn't the least bit surprised about his amazing performance.

The thing was that Foxx really nailed the part of a crazy, homeless artist. He was mumbling and ranting his nonsense, and there was even a part wherein he didn't know if he was gonna' smile because of happiness (after playin' the cello again for quite some time), or keep his blank and spaced-out expression.

Kudos too for his (Foxx's) musical talent. It's as if he could really play those instruments in real life. Well I bet he could!

The Soloist is a movie that could definitely make you say that Foxx is one of the best among his peers, if you didn't know that yet (check out Collateral and Jar Head). The only downside to this movie is that it left me feelin' a lil' bit crazy too!

Iron Man 2 (post-movie rant)

2010-05-01T05:25:00.000-07:00

Robert Downey Jr indeed is the right man to play Tony Stark! Tell me, is there anyone better suited out there?

Well anyway, this is just a prelude of bigger things to come. Like The Mighty Thor perhaps? I don't know what the fuck the commotion was all about in the end when that Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) bodyguard said "I've found it..". Seems like there was an excavation site or "secret base" bein' constructed. But I did clearly see the hammer of that Norse pagan god.

Don Cheadle seemed fitting for the role that Terrence Howard left behind. But Terrence Howard added more bulk to War Machine. Don Cheadle will always be the skinny Earl Manigault to me.

Mickey Rourke did a decent job in portraying himself as the Russian Ivan Vanko. He is sporting a really nice, fake, Russian accent.

Now if you think Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow) was hot, then you're cold as ice if you haven't noticed how spankin' hot Natalie Rushman, a.k.a. "Natalia Romanoff" (Scarlett Johansson) was. Her curves are really tricky. You could get lost in those.

I initially thought that Tony Stark's computer J.A.R.V.I.S. was voiced by Jude Law. Turns out to be Paul Bettany. Now why didn't I catch that?

Justin Hammer (Sam Rockwell) did a good job in mixing evil and comedy. Evil in that you really would hate the guy. Comedy because I was also laughing at him. He even did this sort of dance when he was walking onstage during the Hammer technological expo or somethin'. Funny guy. Hope he gets more movies after this because I think the last time I saw him was in Matchstick Men with Nicholas Cage, and that was a loooong time ago.

Samuel L. Jackson is still Samuel L Jackson in this flick. No variation at all. It's just like watching Mace Windu with an eye-patch.

Director Jon Favreau thinks that no one can nail the part of Happy Hogan except for him. Nice goin' Jon!

And oh, I think I noticed Olivia Munn playin' a reporter. She's hot still. And more so, because of her tanned look. Looks like she just came from South Beach or somethin'.

I was expecting this to be an OK flick. I didn't know that it would turn out to be this good.

The Losers (post-movie rant)

2010-04-29T01:29:00.000-07:00

A good flick this definitely was. It had a comic book kinda’ format like Kick-Ass had. I didn’t know that The Losers is another remake of a DC comic book. It’s such a shame that the Hollywood flicks comin’ out nowadays are all just remakes. Where’s the originality?!? But still, as I’ve said initially, ‘twas good!

The guy who played Clay (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) looks like a fake, larger version of Robert Downey Jr. The resemblance is very uncanny! And to think that Iron Man 2 is showin’ tomorrow here and I’ve just watched The Soloist (which starred Jamie Foxx and Robert Downey Jr too).

The black dude who played Rougue (Idris Elba) really looks familiar. I just couldn’t recall where I’d seen him. Honestly, he looks like a muscular version of Black Eyed Pea Will I. Am.

Now Jensen (Chris Evans) really looked familiar. I knew I’ve seen him before in some flicks. I was also kinda’ stuck when I was trying to recall in which movie did I see him in. If it wasn’t for my bro shakin’ off the memory cobwebs, I wouldn’t remember that it was in Fantastic 4 where I’ve seen him in.

The other black guy named Pooch (Columbus Short) who was the driver and the Latino sniper Cougar (Oscar Jaenada) were virtually unknowns to me. I haven’t really seen ‘em before. Or rather, I don’t recall seein’ ‘em, though I’m sure I’ve seen ‘em before in some flick.

Zoe Saldana was really hot! If I were to fuck a black chick, it would be either her or Beyonce! Man she’s as hot as her character counterpart in Avatar!

I was laughin’ out loud (LOL’ing) when Jensen was singin’ Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing” while infiltrating Goliath’s mainframe building. His rendition (and his steps) was somethin’ else! That for me, was the high point of the flick.

I’m out, losers!

Kick-Ass (post-viewing afterthoughts)

2010-04-25T02:54:00.000-07:00

This flick kicked ass! Literally! Another flick that was worth my hard-earned bucks.

Kick-Ass’s chick interest was kinda’ hot, but I found Hit-Girl hotter! I mean, I don’t know how a 12 year old manages to make me excrete the testosterone. I just like it oozin’! I guess she’s a natural actress, and she says the word “fucker”. Guess that’s what turned me on. Plus, she’s pretty slick with balisongs!

McLovin (Christopher Mintz-Plasse) really looked older in this flick. And I just noticed that one of Kick-Ass’s geek friends was also the young guy in the Hot Tub Time Machine.

Another familiar face was of course, Nicolas Cage himself. He has been working in a lot of films nowadays, and he still finds time to be in an indie. Amazing career-driven force that guy has!

Don’t have much to say except that this is a must-watch! Next stop…The Losers!

Hot Tub Time Machine (post-movie rant)

2010-04-20T02:06:00.000-07:00

This one had a Back To The Future feel to it. I guess it’s the mom factor. You all remember Marty McFly meeting his mom in the past, right? That’s also what it was when Jacob (John Cusack’s nephew in the movie) met his mom back in 1986.

This movie really was for me. I’m an 80’s dude (well technically I’m a 90’s dude) because I was born in 1982. How 80’s could you get?!? It brought me back to that decade due to the music alone. Poison, Motley Crue, Cutting Crew, New Order, and especially that “♪Push it…♫” music. Man David Bowie was still the one doin’ the MTV advertisements! I was just wondering if there was already a Super Mario Bros. video game back in ’86. As far as I know, I was only 4 years old and it was just Ataris back then.

I also singled out some familiar faces. I know for sure that the one-armed bellboy villain in the 1st Charlie’s Angels installment. And I knew that it was Chevy Chase who was playing the hot tub repairman! That face already has a Hollywood template in my primitive mind.

I give this a 3 ½ stars out of a five due to the fact that I’m an 80’s kid!

The Eugene-Roselyn Nuptials (post-wedding rant)

2010-04-17T18:42:00.000-07:00

[2110]

My cousin Eugene (a.k.a. “Yug” of Chicosci lore) just got married earlier today. 9 AM to be exact. His new wife Rose is a cute and pretty specimen of a bride. Hope that she’s as good as she looks when it comes to bein’ a wife.

I thought that the Eugene-Rose nuptials would be a boring one. I take that back. Only the initial part was considered boring by my standards. That part was the wedding mass. It’s been years since I’ve been in those masses. I don’t even go to church (which I ain’t proud of, because I get that natural high, that calm and collected feeling when you’re in spiritual places like churches and temples…) even during the holidays! And honestly, my last confession was when I did Days With The Lord back in 3^rd year high (1999). What a crying shame-O!

Technically, the last wedding that I should be in prior to the Ross (Yug’s middle name’s Ross)-Rose wedding is the Ton-Diorelle wedding . But that fuckin’ graveyard shift ruined it all for me man! I was sleeping while my high school friends who were invited were all enjoying themselves in the wedding ceremonies. So in retrospect, the last wedding that I remember being in was my tito Ike and tita Precy’s wedding, which was in the early 90’s or something.

The food was good during the reception at Century Park Hotel. I was stuffed! I sampled virtually all the food! From the beef madallion forestiere (this was succulent!), to the New Orleans baby back ribs in whiskey (didn’t catch the whiskey taste), to the chicken breast filled with mozzarella (yum-yum!), to the cabbage rolls filled with ragout (dunno’ what ragout is really), to the sautéed veggies, to the fettuccini nantua with basil, to the saffron risotto (Zac Effron-Oyo Boy Sotto?), to the tuna and white beans salad, to the orange salad with sultanas, to the salad Louis (no idea what this is), to the salmon graved lax (how do you grave a salmon laxly?), to the hoisin marinated roast pork (deelish!), to the duck galantine with sauce Cumberland (Cumberland, Maryland?), to the smoked tuna platter, to the assorted cold cuts, it was all good!

Chicosci itself was also there, and they played one of their hits when the tribute video to my Tita Remy (Yug’s mom) was bein’ played. I almost cried. She would have been so happy if she was alive to witness the wedding.

From now on, I’ll attend all weddings. As the infamous Jack Sparrow always says, “Weddings! I love weddings, drinks all around!”