Of All The Things

Taken 2 was supposed to be viewed. I dunno why I ended up with Of All The Things. It's OK though because I enjoyed the flick. It was refreshing to watch these types of flicks(way different from how The Mistress looked), plus I got to support our Filipino flicks!

If it means supporting this guy, why not?!

Of all the things is basically what happens when a professional fixer with lots of connections teams up with a certified public notary and left to create havoc.

Well, not necessarily this type of Havok, but you get the picture.

A professional fixer named Berns(Regine Velasquez) happens to chance upon this law graduate named Umboy who works under his umbrella stall("Umbrella Boy", UMBOY, get it?) as a certified public notary when she was in dire straits and needed some legal counseling to sort out her "fixastrous" ways.

A reason why I enjoyed this flick was the familiarity and chemistry between Aga and Regine. These guys go all the way back to 2001's "Pangako Ikaw Lang", so no wonder they know how the other thinks while they're on set.

Lucky for 'em, they didn't end up like Brangelina.

And also, it was the same director who came up with Of All The Things and "Pangako.." Ms. Joyce Bernal.

Who's probably swimming in cash right now because of the Php 4million that they made on opening day.

I was actually expecting Regine to be fatter here because you know, Mrs. Alcasid! But no, she didn't look bloated like a mom that just gave birth. The reason? It was done 3 years ago! I was fooled!

He still looks the same though.

Aga also looked the same. But so does his acting. It's just a one-size fits all type of acting. I wasn't convinced enough that he was a law graduate in this flick. Though in fairness, he did his homework on the law terms that he's supposed to dictate here. Same thing with Mark Bautista. He didn't look like he was studyin' law hard enough here.

He should've just sang some songs.

Poor choice for choosing Callalily playing in their CamSur trip fiesta thingy. I guess they were the only variety band around the mainstream who could cover and do a rock rendition of the song Of All The Things. It was sappy though, not rock enough! Good choice though for choosing Tommy Abuel as Aga's dad. I just learned from my mom while we were watchin' the flick that he's actually a lawyer in real life!

Well, who would've thought?

As for the cameos, they were pretty solid cameos. Some just slightly solid(like Midas Marquez just bein' passed by whil the camera was panning to the left during the start), and some really solid ones(like Mitra and Chiz as themselves throwin' multiple liners).

As for who's hotter, Bamboo or Chiz? John Lapus settled that argument in this flick.

I would give this film a decent 7 outta 10.









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The Mistress

The John Lloyd-Bea Alonzo combo never fails to deliver. I bet this was another blockbuster because I only heard about this movie through word of mouth(though I'm sure I've seen the trailer before, but it was forgotten into obscurity), and I've heard it from lots of mouths!

Rumour-mongering, better than the internet!

Now I got to watch this film on a Monday night. And the house was packed to the rafters! On a fuckin' Monday! And it wasn't even a holiday! I just love the Filipino audience!

Worth dying for? Just the audience for now.

The John Lloyd-Bea("Jobeloyd"?) loveteam I believe will only lose its lustre when they grow into old geezers. They can milk that fuckin' cow for decades to come! Believe you me. As long as people are in love and cheesy, then they can just expect the milk and make it rain! Proof of this is that the last movie John lloyd and Bea did together was "Miss You Like Crazy" which was back in 2010. Two years from now, they just picked up where they left off. It's as if nothing happened!

Though I'm sure somethin' kinky happened here.

Let me just comment about some points. The main good point, being the chemistry between the two. That's because they have plenty of romantic movies under their belts. They can cry with each other virtually at will I suppose, so acting just comes naturally.

The story's pretty cool too! John Lloyd's dad(Ronaldo Valdez) and John Lloyd(Eric a.k.a. "JD") were in love with the same chick(Bea as Sari a.k.a. "Rosario"). Well actually, Bea was only a mistress(SPOILER ALERT!) so Ronaldo Valdez's character couldn't possibly be in love with her.

But still, screwing!

So that's a really cool plot brewing right there right? But as all good things go, they all come to an end. As I've expected, this would never have a happy outcome, with all the complications of the situation goin' on.

But as you know with Filipino romantic films, even if the ending is a sad one(a.k.a. "the couple doesn't end up together"), they still managed to turn it into a smiler because of a lot of "what-ifs" being imagined by the 2 main lovers. What if they didn't break up? What if John Lloyd's dad wasn't in the picture? What if Bea wasn't a mistress?

"What If" by Babyface topped at #80 and #28 in the US Billboard and US R&B charts respectively. 

This flick gets an 8 outta 10 for the kinda' original screenplay, superb "Jobeloyd" chemistry, and for Bea showing us her cleaves and how firm it was(as shown by John Lloyd applying some pressure on it.)

Thanks!

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Pridyider

Another local movie that fell under the "horror/thriller" category this year. These things are actually gaining ground in the movie industry and there's no signs of letting up.

Just like Carlo J Caparas and his massacre flicks before. 

This flick included my good ol' friend Timmy Eigenmann's sis Andi(who's also a crush, sorry Tim!), that Angelito Batang Ama dude from Channel 2(JM De Guzman), Janice De Belen, Joel Torre, Ronnie Lazaro, Baron Geisler, that gay fag named "Bekimon" and introducing Venus Raj!

In all fairness, Venus pulled off the acting here. She looked natural!

Besides the body looking natural of course. 

The way she used the term "friend"? I liked it!

I dunno what is up with Janice and Joel. Joel is also included in this upcoming horror flick "Tiktik". And so is Janice. So I guess these two vet actors are just trying to cash in on the horror craze that's goin' on.

Good thing her "Tiyanak" wasn't involved. 

Baron Geisler once again did a superb job being a dick in this flick. Or he really is a dick in real life, that's why he looks so natural.

Plus his name's Dick in this film, so go figure.

JM De Guzman could do nothing but make himself look cute in front of the camera. that's just my opinion. He only projects his good image, but doesn't really put a premium in his acting. His career won't last long if he's just banking on his looks and not his skills.

On the other side of the spectrum is Mr. Ronnie Lazaro. He doesn't give a f*ck how he looks. He just wants to deliver superb acting to the audience. His high-pitched laugh really sounded natural.

Won't sound natural with the gun pointed at you.

As for Andi, she doesn't need any kudos for her acting. It's a given. She's an Eigenmann. Her acting skills are ingrained in her DNA.

But I just wanna' hear the bedroom voice. No acting please! 

This flick for me only deserves a 5 outta 10.

Plus 1.5 for showin' Andi's cleaves.

Overall 6.5 outta 10!

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Katy Perry, Part Of Me(3D)

This was a fun documentary to watch. Obviously, it let us witness the journey that is Katy Perry.

Who's actually Katy Hudson, but doesn't want to be associated with this lady. 

She's just a down to earth li'l kid from a hardcore Christian family-slash-traveling preacher roadshow which slaps foreheads in a very Pentecostal manner.

Firework!

I knew that after this movie, I would have more respect for Katy Perry as an artist. It's not that I don't respect her to begin with. It's just that I was always thinking that there was always this group of PR peeps responsible for her image and persona, as well as her music. I was totally mistaken. Katy Perry is the driving force behind Katy Perry.

You can all suck it big cheeses!

Actually, the alleged group of PR peeps trying to control Katy were from her previous record labels. They wanted her to be the next Alanis Morisette or the next Avril Lavigne. She was being molded into a Kelly Clarkson, or a Jessica Simosin. But she didn't want to be any of those bitches.

But Alanis was her first musical influence outside all those Christian records that they were forced to listen to. Isn't it ironic?

More respect was flowing out of me when the docu reminded me that Katy Perry had 5 #1 Singles in one album. The only one besides Michael Jackson. The Beatles weren't able to do that. Not even Elvis.

Most especially not you Madonna!

Katy Perry is THE artist of this generation. Not Lady Gaga. Not Rihanna. Not even Adele.

They just all bow down to the boobs.

Thanks to Capitol Records and the musical license and freedom that they've given Katy.

If not for them, we won't get to see one of the greatest cleavages ever! 

They believed in her direction. And that's what the other record labels should be doing. They don't know anything about music, only money. But thanks to Capitol's big bosses, we got to see Katy's pussy.

This abomination is technically Katy Perry's Pussy. 

Lots of bubbles and confetti rained down on me during the movie because of the 3D thang. But the cartilage of my ear kinda' hurt after the movie because of the 3D glasses. But it was fun, bubblegum poppy still. I loved it. Except for the parts where they showed Russell Brand. I know he's a funny douche, but he's kinda' dickish for allowing the divorce to happen. Katy was always trying to find time in her busy schedule to be with Russell. It should be Russell who should fuckin'  come to Katy.

Thanks dick!

Overall rating for this docu is a 9/10. Could be 9.5 if she at least showed us some sideboob.









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The Expendables 2

I was waiting for Bruce Lee to suddenly show up, but I just remembered that he was dead. Sorry.

No Bruce Lee, no expendables.

Instead, we were handed old(and probably worn-out) versions of Chuck Norris and Jean Claude Van-Damme. Which is not that bad, considering that JCVD was still ripped as hell, and Chuck Norris still looks kinda looks like Chuck from Way Of The Dragon.

Without the chest hair of course.

I still am thinking why they didn't let Chuck Norris play as himself in this flick. It could've gotten much more interesting.

As for JCVD, kudos to you! It's about time that you play the villain. And he really nailed the part. Even the accent of a terrorist? He's gotten that down to a tee.

Or maybe he's just Belgian. 

Jet Li shoul've gotten more air time because he literally is the slickest fighter amongst the Expendable cast. He's also the most famous!

That's if you count the Chinese audience.

So, did the producers just not have enough money to pay the guy for the whole flick? Or did the scriptwriters just run out of shit to tell? Or both?

Stallone did a wonderful job assembling this ragtag bunch of washed out 80's action stars. I was giggling like a li'l girl when I saw Dolph Lundgren, Sly, The Terminator, and John McClane all pumping slugs. The ticket money was well worth it.

Though Mr. Drago could've packed in more punches. 

Jason Statham was holding his own against these giants. His British accent still looked tough amongst the other voices.

Especially Stallone's old man, croaky voice. 

Terry Crews was there to augment the comic relief this action porn flick had. The other action stars were delivering their punch lines once in a while. But Crews was there to add to the chaos.

Anybody whose role is just to add to the chaos is a Godsend in our book. 

As for Randy Couture, he looked like a weak-ass sidekick to Terry. Everytime Terry delivers his laughlines, Randy always talks as if he's trying to top the previous joke! And they really looked like partners. You know, as soon as Terry says something, so does Randy.

I can hold my own Randy, no need for your old ass. 

Chris Hemsworth's younger sibling Liam initially tricked me. I was thinking that he was CHris Hemsworth utilizing his babyface in this movie or something. Turned out that Liam is Chris' younger sibling! Yeah, I know you're an A-Lister's younger bro and have starred in big production flicks like The Hunger Games. But you're not action-jackson enough!

As for the Asian chick, just looks like a fattened and taller Zhang Zi-Yi. Nothing new with that I guess.

All in all, this flick deserves a 7.5 outta 10.

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Raining on B-Meg's Parade

For the 1st time ever, the PBA franchise Rain or Shine won the championship in this season's Governor's cup. The pressure was on both teams actually. B-Meg, being the past conference champs, are pressured to win again because of their line-up that runs deep(they have 3 freakin' point guards), and of course their championship experience. They have Tim Cone on their side too, who was poised to win his 15th PBA title, on his way to tying the current PBA record holder, legendary local coach Baby Dalupan.

Rain or Shine(or ROS from hereon) got walloped for two straight games following a 3-1 lead that they blew, due in large part to rookie sensation Paul "The Lethal Weapon" Lee's exit from the conference in Game 2 due to a shoulder injury(which I believe requires surgery). So they too are feeling the pressure to redeem themselves. And what better way to do it than to win a Game 7! All in good time mates! All in good time.


Thanks for the timely advice Gallagher brothers!


My basketball teammate from the office actually told me on FB that, "Sinong unang maka-shoot, siya ang magchachampion."("Whoever gets to shoot the first basket will be the champ."). It couldn't be any truer(if there's such a word). Jamelle Cornley(ROS import) got an assist from former FEU sharpshooter Jeff Chan(future Allan Caidic), so ROS drew first blood. Well, it also happened in our championship game last June. We scored the first basket and we eventually became the champs.

The Jeff Chan of the past.

Celebs were in attendance too like Ai-Ai, Val Sotto, Danica and Ciara Sotto, Bea Alonzo and Zanjo Marudo. They were part of the 22,000 in attendance last night at the mecca of Philippine Basketball game Sevens, The Smart Araneta Center(a.k.a. "The Big Dome").

Where it's at baby!

Marcus Blakely(B-Meg's high-flying import) fouled out with lots of time left. But IMO, he ain't the reason why the Llamados lost the ballgame. ROS was already leading when he fouled out. It was because B-Megs usual gunners("Big Game" James Yap and "The Apostle" Peter Jun Simon) suddenly turned ice cold. Plus ROS's D was more intense than the trademark B-Meg defense.

Led by this guy, Marc "Sakuragi" Pingris.

Plus, B-Meg's point guards were exploited by ROS's point-guard norwood. He was way taller than these guys so he punished them in the post a lot. his jumpers can't be reached. He's like 5-6 inches taller than B-Meg's tallest point gusrd, that's why!

Obama 2.0 is a hell of a specimen!

Congratulations to ROS, 2012 PBA Governor's Cup champs!





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Posas

This indie flick ain't best picture for this year's Cinemalaya festival for nothin'. First of all, it included my long time bud Jerico Antonio(a.k.a. "Nico Antonio"). All my buds are great you know!

The poor dude was forced to use his childhood name, thanks to this jerk!

Secondly, it was produced by someone who actually has the means to produce it(Jerico's mom, who also produced last year's Cinemalaya winner, "Ang Babae Sa Septic Tank"), so it doesn't look like your crappy, rudimentary indie flick.

Third, the story was kinda' cool. It shows hardcore Quiapo and what it really is like if you're there. You couldn't really find a snatcher in a sea of bodies man! And the story too was convincingly real. You could just feel it in your bones, that chill that taps your spine when you think that stuff like police corruption is very rife.

And lastly, the actors were top notch. Besides my friend of course, the others were just as good, or even better! I noticed that bossy bald dude from The Kitchen Musical was also there, Mr. Art Acuna. He sounded British to me, but had no trace of English when saying stuff like "puking-ina". He fuckin' deceived me!

Whew! Good thing they didn't import this Kitchen Musical actor too.

Other high-end actors(or actresses) were Ms. Bangs Garcia(whose side-boob always liked to take a sneak-peek).

It kinda' hid itself here.

And that PBB chick that Jerico was smooching was sorta' mainstream too, plus a special participation of Mr.(or Ms?, nah!) John "Sweet"(I dunno what the fuck's up with the nickname) Lapus.

Do you see anythig sweet about this?

Plus that kid who was on Ang TV before I reckon? He played the part that I was supposed to play, which was that convict frind of Jess  who was smoking cigs. Man I should've landed that role because I've been in that situation before, for real!

The others too looked natural in their acting.

Not like the usual actors sing-songing their dialogues.

Like that fat-assed police from the service desk. It looked like he was just adlibbing stuff when Jess Biag(Jerico) was stating his name when he was arrested for theft. When Jess told him his last name, he suddenly said "Biag ni Lam-ang?". Now that shit got me crackin'!

Of course we can't forget Ms. Waka-Waka herself, Ms. Susan Africa. She nails stuff when it comes to motherly and auntie roles. And it was no different here. She played Jess's mom by the way.

I may be a biased SOB, but this flick deserves at least a 7.5 outta 10.

Minus .5 because of the crappily translated subtitles.

Overall 7/10.

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