Temptation Island(2011)

This was a remake from a 1980 cult classic, which was originally a Fox TV series(thanks Google!). I believe I wasn't one of the cult though.

T.I. fans, headed by their cult leader.

I didn't even know who the actresses were in the original.

I was thinkin' that she might be one of 'em, but she ain't.

This flick was just total nonsense. The plot just revolved around a bunch of people gettin' stuck on a desert island(in Pagudpod?), starving, hallucinating, and havin' sex. There was even this editing glitch wherein the Manila Sunshine(a shampoo brand or sunblock, whatever...) Model Search promoter or somethin'(an elderly lady in the film named Mrs. Syjuco, who I believe was one of the original cast) went up to the catwalk to do some announcements. Then the next shot showed her once again seated beside the catwalk. Now WTF GMA editing crew?! You guys can do better than that!

My favorite actress was of course, Ruffa Mae Quinto. She was the comic relief and brought life to an otherwise dull remake.

Without her, this film's a bust.

Marian isn't just a pretty face. I didn't know she could be wacky too. Which is absolutely a turn-on for men like me. Her actions could be extremely unrefined. Not suitable for a woman with her looks. But she's able to pull it off! I'm not turned on by her "palengkera" voice though. Like an elderly woman shouting out stuff that she sells.

Like Echo, Marian was also originally discovered in the marketplace.

Solenn is a traitor. I didn't have the hots for her, at all! But as the movie went along, she seemed to transform into something like a gummy bear, somethin' yummy. Or something of that sort.

Solenn is actually part Hebrew, and could trace her roots back to Judas Iscariot himself.

Heart Evangelista shouldn't be in the roster at all. She ain't sexy. And Lovi Poe? I can't say anything because there's really nothin'. They could've just swapped someone like Rhiann Ramos and some other "Star Struck chick" in their places.

There you go.

This movie really wasn't anything except for a few laughs. 4/10 for me.







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Banlieu 13(Ultimatum)

More or less the same deal as its predecessor. Guns, fighting, and parkour were pretty much the same too here in this flick. But I think that the fighting here looked a wee bit more polished. That's just my 2 cents though. The parkour still looked spectacular.

Parkour.

This one had a different plot though. Instead of the whole district bein' controlled by a single entity(which was Taja in part 1), this one had several gangs controllin' the district.

Like this, but multi-racial.

Damien and Leito were still rad. Though Leito looked a tad bit chubbier. But if it's any consolation to the guy, it's that only his face seems to have a fatter ass than before.

The smallest loser.

Now you know how this ends. Everybody wins(except for the bad guys of course).

The police are supposed to be the good guys, right?

Everybody's happy. Blah blah blah.

7 out of 10 overall.
Minus .5 for not havin' more than enough parkour to entertain me.







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127 Hours

Aron Ralston is the real deal. In fact, Aron Ralston is Iron Man! All the previous Iron Man competition winners couldn't hold a candle to this dude. Physical endurance, mental toughness, guts. Whatever! Name it, Ralston has it.

THE Aron Ralston.

It's no surprise that James Franco got a nomination for this flick because he really did pull off an amazing performance.

Colin Firth's stuttering shenanigans ain't worth shit.

I liked how he lightened up the mood even if he was in a life-and-death situation.

Any situation with Scooby-fuckin'-Doo in it would definitely be lighter.

Even if he was drinkin' his own piss, he still likened it to drinkin' a Slurpee, which made me snicker a bit. Cool dude.

Mountain Dew, Blue John Canyon flavor.

I was just thinkin' that if this had happened in the future, he wouldn't have severed his arm. With GPS in everyone's cellphones(and brains probably), people could have easily tracked him down. Too bad not all cellphones have it.

Damn cellphones!!

It's funny to think that some moviegoers actually fainted while watchin' this flick.

Anemia could also play a factor.

This gets a 7 out of 10,
(+1) because it' James Franco.
(+.5) because of Danny Boyle's weirdness.
And another (+.5) because of Ralston's bad-assery!





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