Montiel VS Donaire

Not an actual poster.

Nonito Donaire was the man last weekend, which was dubbed boxing's first big weekend of 2011. Of course, I'm a main event guy when it comes to boxing. Unfortunately, the main event lasted only 2 rounds, similar to the PacMan-Hatton fight. It was also eerily similar to how it ended, with both fighters sleeping on the canvas. Well, let's proceed with the undercard.

THE UNDERCARD

Mike Alvarado VS Dean Harrison

The night started with Alvarado stopping the Englishman dead in his tracks(in his stool actually) in 4 rounds. Harrison was just kept on his stool before the 5th round started. I don't know what's next for these guys. All I know is that Alvarado climbs up and Harrison slides down the jr. welterweight ranks.

This could determine your contender status.

Yordenis Ugas VS Carlos Musquez

 The Cuban former Olympic Bronze Medalist at the 2008 Beijing Games disposed Musquez because of his superior talent and counterpunching. The only thing was that his talent didn't prevent him from being hurt from a Musquez shot in the opening stanza. Ugas has great anticipation and timing, but his glass chin could be an Achilles tendon in the long run, so I think he won't make it to greatness. That's just my 2 cents though.

It's not art, it's a liability!

Mark Melligen VS Gabriel Martinez


Our very own Mark Melligen slugged it out in this interesting 10-round scrap to see who would take the next step towards legitimate contention. Melligen seemed to be the flashier fighter, which helped him(I think) in winning by a wide gap in the scorecards.




Mickey Bey VS Jose Hernandez


Tough journeyman Hernandez shook Bey up a bit in the beginning, though Bey seemed to befuddle Hernandez after the shake-up by using ripping combos and slick defensive maneuvers. But this wasn't enough. Hernandez is a tough nut to crack, so he ended up blemishing Bey's perfect 16-0 record.

THE MAIN CARD

Mike Jones VS Jesus Soto-Karass

This is technically a rematch from 2010. I myself haven't watched the1st fight . But from the looks of it, Soto-Karass seemed to be a rugged motherfucker. Jones opened the round by sticking and moving, landing a jab here and there. After a couple of rounds and a couple of exchanges, Soto-Karass came out with a cut over his left eye. But that didn't stop Soto-Karass from bringing the action to Jones.

This was what Soto-Karass did when he saw his own blood.

Though this was not enough because Jones just fought cautiously, saving his most vicious barrages towards the last 3 rounds to cruise to a unanimous decision victory.

With the crowd booing of course.

Nonito "The Filipino Flash" Donaire VS Fernando Montiel

I pity the fans who paid good money to see this live. It just ended in the secound round, with Montiel twitching like an epileptic via a nasty left hook to the temple. The only weird thing was that he got to stand up, and the stupid ref still let the fighters roll! But after 2 more punches, the ref realized his stupidity and stepped in to stop the contest.

I myself am no expert in refereeing. But if Montiel was twitching like that scene in the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre where the dude gets smashed with a meat cleaver, then clearly the fight has to end.

It's contagious.

It was amazing that Montiel still stood up like it was morning time. But it was clear that his eyes were somewhere else.

Montiel: Artist's impression

This clearly cements Donaire's status as a top-5 pound-for-pound guy. Or top-4 even.

With this guy basically being a non-entity right now.

The Philippines has a bright future with this dude. Next stop, Manny-Mosley!




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UFC 126(Silva VS Belfort)

Antonio Banuelos VS Miguel Torres

This looked like a really lopsided match to begin with. First off, I know virtually nothin' about Banuelos, save for the fact that he's a Hawaiian Kempo practitioner and sparring partner of the legendary Iceman, Chuck Liddell. On the other hand, Torres used to be near the top of everyone's pound-for-pound list, and was also the former WEC bantamweight champ. And that was just less than 2 years ago!

Secondly, Torres stands at 5'9 while Banuelos is like what, 5'3?

Not exactly a David & Goliath  affair, but kinda' close.

The reach advantage at 13cm was ridiculous if you were watching Torres working from the outside. Banuelos had a snowflake's chance in hell to close that distance. Especially with an opponent of Miguel Torres' caliber.

The percentage of Banuelos' chances in winning the exchanges.

And this was what pretty much happened throughout the entire match. There were some bright spots for Banuelos though, where he was clippin' Torres' face when he caught him in one of his flurries towards the end of the second.

This wasn't enough though. For Banuelos just turned into Torres' punching bag on the way to a unanimous decision win for Torres.

Sort of what this girl was to Chris Brown back in the day.

His UFC debut was kinda' disappointing though. If you've watched Torres' previous fights, you would clearly see why he used to be in the top 2 or 3 in MMA's pound-for-pound listings.


Carlos Eduardo Rocha VS Jake "The Juggernaut" Ellenberger

Rocha's walkout music("Ice Ice Baby") definitely adds points to my book! I knew The Juggernaut was a beast so I knew the winner even before the fighters were intro'd.

Mr. Ellenberger

But this fight also opened my eyes to what Rocha can do to you on the ground.

He could turn you into this...

I honestly consider Rocha a ground wizard because of the way he easily controlled The Juggernaut. And he was off his back too! As a matter of fact, he almost caught Jake in a kimura that suddenly transitioned into an americana or straight arm bar or somethin' before the horn sounded. Rocha's ground game is that sick! I ain't hypin' it. It really is!

In the beginning of the second, we find Rocha turtling up and eatin' some shots. Then the fight suddenly turned into a kickboxing match all the way 'til the end of the round, which was punctuated by an Ellenberger takedown.

If I only knew that it was gonna' be kickboxing, I should have watched this guy instead.

Despite the takedown, Rocha was still on the offensive as he seemed to be slippin' in a triangle choke when the horn ended. Another testament to his ground wizardry.

Will come up with any reason just to get Gandalf in here.

The 3rd round was more or less The Juggernaut's because he controlled Rocha by gettin' a couple of takedowns in. Ellenber wins via split decision.


Ryan "Darth" Bader VS Jon "Bones" Jones

This fight has extremely heavy implications. Whoever wins automatically vaults himself into the Top 5 of the light-heavyweight division, closer to that title shot. Lucky for these fuckers because Rashad Evans, the guy who's supposed to fight current LHW champ Mauricio "Shogun" Rua for the title, just got injured during training. That means an automatic ticket to the title!

Jones is definitely Bader's most dangerous opponent to date, and vice-versa. To some, Jon Jones is the 2nd coming of Christ. This fight only cemented that notion.

Jon Jones. Semitic version.

The first round really showed how strong Jesus, err, Jon Jones was. Bader is one strong animal. But all his decorated wrestling credentials, all that NCAA Division I wrestling titles and crap, were worth shit to Jones. He was literally outgrappled.

You won't faze Bones even with a WWE credential.

I've never seen Darth Bader outgrappled, ever! There even was this TD attempt where Jones just effortlessly waived off Bader's shot.

The 2nd round was the beginning of the end for Darth Bader. I saw Bones deliver a flying elbow. A fuckin' flyin' elbow! Ridic! After controllin' Bader on the ground again, Jones pulled off a guillotine when they got tangled on the mat. Another submission victory for Bones. I told 'ya Jesus has arrived!

Behold motherfuckers, Jonny Bones!

Forrest Griffin VS Rich "Ace" Franklin

My pesky mom was too irritating for she wanted to watch Party Pilipinas instead of this once in a lifetime pay-per-view! I gave her what she wanted, and in exchange, got her to agree that I would be watching the main event. Good thing the fight lasted 3 rounds, enough time to feed my mom's insatiable appetite for noontime shows.

I mean, c'mon! Who watches this shit?!?

The bottom line is that I didn't watch this and honestly, I don't give a fuck who won.


Vitor "The Phenom" Belfort VS Anderson "The Spider" Silva

Now this is what the fuck I was talkin' about for quite some time now! Brazilian VS Brazilian. Former champ VS champ. Fastest hands in the division VS probably the fastest hands in the entire sport. Whichever way you put it, I only see Agent Smith VS Neo in this showdown. Vitor is Smith, who has already been there and done that. While Anderson, as we all know, is Neo to the UFC's matrix.

Anderson's trainer.

I've been a Vitor fan since I can remember, so I know how fast and powerful The Phenom's hands are. That's why the hopes of someone who would topple The Spider off his throne was all gone when he ate a Silva front kick, and was knocked out! I mean, who gets KO'd by a front kick?!? Unreal!

Just like this dude right here.

Now the question is, who the fuck is next? What now? Vitor was the most legit contender for the middleweight title. Almost all the previous title defenses that The Spider had were jokes! They're talkin' about a GSP superfight at a catchweight, which is totally fine with me for I'm a sucker for fights.

My type of fight.

But come on man. Anderson doesn't need to meet GSP at a catchweight. He actually needs to move the fuck up for fuck's sake!

But hey, we ain't sayin' Anderson can't cut weight.

Overall, a 9.5 outta 10 for this pay-per-view(which we technically didn't pay for). That's because of the flying elbow. And most especially, that sick front kick! And oh, just a li'l bit of trivia. Apparently, Steven Seagal taught(or perfected as Steven says) that front kick that Anderson did. Honestly, I ain't buyin' that crap!

What's that chord he's playin'?

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Tron

Thanks to 3D technology for this flick would suck without it. Seriously, I watched this flick because I just wanna play around with my depth perception, and that's it! I ain't a huge fan of the original Tron movie anyway.

The plot seems to be as thin as the soup in Oliver Twist's gruel.

The plot.

I mean, how the fuck did the dad(Jeff Bridges) manage to page his long time friend while he was in the grid?!? As far as I can recall, they didn't bother explaining this bullcrap to us. I guess the director just assumed that we were all intelligent movie-goers. Well it's the wrong assumption because guess what, people are stupid!

Can't get any more stupid than this.

As for the cast, only Jeff Bridges was of the A-List variety. Though the lead role actor looked pretty familiar. Even the Asian-looking leading lady-program thingy wasn't hot enough.

As I've said earlier, the only thing that makes this flick tick was the fact that it was shot entirely in 3D. As you know, I'm addicted to eye candy so I can't say anything bad about how the film looks like because I like it, a lot!

Overall, this film merits a 6 out of a 10 because og the reasons stated above.




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The Tourist

After watching this movie, the name Alexander Pearce would never be the same again. I don't know how many times it was mentioned in this flick.

Another Pearce. Guy this time...

I wanted to watch The Green Hornet first. But as a Johnny Depp fan, I sure wouldn't want to miss this. I really didn't care about Angelina's curves. Kudos to those curves though. They blended in quite smoothly with the movie. No matter how much the camera shots were takin' emphasis on those curves, it still really didn't mean a thing.

Paul Bettany was put to good use in this one. Well actually, it was his natural accent that was used for good measure. He was from Scotland Yard in this flick.

Who were always put to shame by this guy.

Oops...

They're actually the same dude.

The shooting locations were picturesque. The aerial shots that is.

I wish they would shoot here too.

Breathtaking is the proper word for it. If the movie's quality depended on these aerial shots...

...then they could win themselves one of these.

The plot was kinda' stale to garner an Oscar though. Ex-Interpol/Scotland Yard agent goes rogue, then comes back to the good side to redeem herself and sorta' save the day and everything. The new twist here was Johnny Depp's character, Mr. Frank Tupelo. But for me, it's a flawed twist. Why you ask? Well, these spoilers on the next paragraph will show you.

This story kinda' revolved around Alexander Pearce(not that name again) who was like the banker/accountant of this certain English mob boss who always surrounds himself with Russian henchmen.

Russians, Russia's latest export.

Now Alexander was crazy enough to double-cross this mob boss, so he went into hiding with Elise Ward(Angelina Jolie) who was the undercover agent who went rogue.

Now somehow, Elise and Alexander got separated while they were hiding and Elise was supposed to meet him at this party. Now where is this all leading to you may ask?

Well it seems that Alexander had so much money that he did some major facial reconstruction to look like Johnny Depp. And he didn't tell Elise a single word about it 'til the end part.

Now tell me this. If Angelina flirted heavily(and even kissed) with Frank, then wouldn't Alexander be turned off by the fact that his girlfriend could easily fall in love with another guy the moment he turns his back? It's like your slutty girlfriend who you dump for the same obvious reasons.

I guess it's hard to dump your girlfriend if she's this hot.

All in all, 3.5 outta 10 due to the plot's gaping hole. 8 outta 10 for Depp's superb acting and Jolie's curves.

Curves, another one of Russia's major exports.

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Saw(Final Chapter)

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UFC 125-Resolution

An aptly named UFC event(Resolution) couldn't be more suitable to start the new year. Fireworks took place, and blood was spilled, just like the blood drippin' from the fingers of a stupid fool playin' with firecrackers. I thought that I should write about this because the PPV replay didn't cease to amaze me. Well, off to the (replayed) festivities!

Takanori "The Fireball Kid" Gomi VS Clay "The Carpenter" Guida

Clay already had this in the bag even before the fighters were introduced. Even if I'm Asian, my confidence in Gomi in this one is really next to none for I know that he would never be able to keep up with Clay's relentless pace. Add to that the fact that Clay has been on a tear lately, plus the fact that Gomi's career is on the downside(even at a relatively young fighting age of 31), and you'll know WTF I am talkin' about.

Guida's footwork and head movement really looked crazy ridiculous! He looked like an epileptic on steroids or somethin'. In fact, Guida's prancing around looked so crazy that Gomi didn't even know what to do with the fucker. I mean, he couldn't tag him cleanly. Guida's dancin' literally took Gomi off his timing and rhythm.

I guess Gomi was so confused with all the shit that was happenin' in the octagon that he got caught in a Joe Daddy guillotine while they were transitioning and shit. This clearly showed that Guida had better transitions on the ground. But for me, Guida will never be a true contender. He's just a solid gatekeeper for the UFC's lightweight division.


Nate Diaz VS Dong Hyun "Stun Gun" Kim

A truly salivating match-up(for match-up freaks like me). Judo VS Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, what more can you ask for?

Now if cockiness had a younger brother, it would be Nate Diaz. Well actually, Nate's elder bro Nick is also cocky as fuck! Well I guess that cockiness has lots of other siblings.

Cockiness' other brother from the same mom.

 In this fight, you could clearly see that Stun Gun's one strong motherfucker.He's like in the Yushin Okami mold or somethin'. He kinda' even looks like Okami!

Stun Gun's Jap half-bro.

He's just Judo-trippin' and sweepin' Nate to the mat with relative ease. It was clearly demonstrated that Judo + brute strength wins over Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu + unorthodox striking(sprinkled with some cockiness) any time of the day.

Things started to get interesting though in the 3rd round. Stun Gun had no answer to Diaz's punches which were comin' all over the place at weird angles. It looked like the loping punches in an anime or sometin', and they were connecting!

Stun Gun could do nothing but cover up against the cage, like the CIA covers stuff up. In fact, Stun Gun was slowly fadin'. I could see his switch button about to turn off. He was actually saved by the bell. But it didn't do enough to sway the judges' unanimous decision. Stun Gun really owned Nate's sorry li'l punk ass the first 2 rounds.


Brandon "The Truth" Vera VS Thiago Silva

I'm sick and tired of Brandon Vera tellin' us that "I'm back!" and shit. Truth is that he never returned after his mismanagement issues. He used to terrorize the heavyweight division with his nasty finishes. He used to be the Jon Jones of the heavyweight division, full of serious upside. Now he's just a replica of what he used to be. Zero killer instinct, and quite hesitant to pull the trigger.

That's why I never believed a single word that he said during the pre-fight interview/trashtalk. His promised aggression was short-lived. After he tagged Silva a couple of times, he just got taken down easily and he was literally smothered on the ground. He couldn't get anything goin' from the bottom. It was clear who had the darker BJJ(or Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, it's really to bothersome to spell the whole thing out...) belt(Silva's a black belt while Vera's belt is brown, or purple, or whatever). Even with Vera's(used to be) Olympic-level wrestling, he was still taken down at will like a rag doll.

These dudes have better take-down defense.

And to add to Vera's misfortunes for the day, his nose got busted up and broken, in an Owen Wilson kinda' way. It was as crooked as a Manila Customs official!

Vera's nose could end up worse than this.

Thiago Silva wins via unanimous decision. Here's to hoping that his nose also gets broken when he faces the next light-heavy.


Brian "All American" Stann VS Chris "The Crippler" Leben

Stann's no slouch , but Leben ain't no gatekeeper either. For me, he's more of like a tester. If you beat him, you instantly would become a contender.

He also tested positive for steroids more than a year ago.

Stann is more of a technical boxer/striker with his straight punches while Leben's more of a brawler with his looping haymakers. Well even without the looping punches, Leben really likes to brawl, period! So it was amazing that it was Stann who baited Leben into a brawling match! Leben is known for his granite chin(remember him zombie-punching Akiyama?). So he just ate Stann's solid combos like wheaties for breakfast.

Breakfast of champions.

The problem is that a chin could only take so much. Every chin has its threshold. And Leben's had reached its (outer) limits. It could only take so much. But the thing was that Leben's one tough s.o.b.(just recall the zombie-punching)! If it was a lesser-chinned middleweight, the fight's over. But this was Leben folks. Referee Josh Rosenthal was stupid for not stopping the fight a bit earlier, but I guess he saw that it was Leben who was about to go out. So I guess he just gave him some leeway. But even though, repeated trauma to the head could be a recipe for insanity, even death!

It's the 1st time that I've seen Leben stopped in a fight since he welcomed Anderson Silva from Pride back in '06. It's a testament to Leben's toughness, so kudos to Stann for the stoppage!


Frankie "The Answer" Edgar VS Gray "The Bully" Maynard(the rematch)

I really didn't pay that much attention to their first fight. That's why I was wanting to take a closer look at this. Though I knew deep down inside my MMA guts that MAynard would win this one easily just like in their first encounter. How wrong I was.

Darth Vader didn't win in a Luke Skywalker rematch either.

I was thinkin' that Maynard would just bully Edgar all throughout the fight by using hs superior wrestling. But how soon I've forgotten that his opponent is who I call the Might Mouse of MMA(please see other articles in this shamelessly plugged blog... http://syd420.blogspot.com).

Frankie Edgar: Not an actual photo.

And he showed his Mighty Mouse mettle when he came back from bein' nearly TKO's twice(or thrice even) to literally dictating the fight by sticking and moving.

Lazarus also came back from the dead after bein' permanently KO'd by God.

In all my years watching fights, I've never seen anyone recover like what Edgar did. He was on rubber knees, but he absorbed all the punishment and just went through all the rounds. It's like the recovery of a freakin' video game character!

Even Spongebob can't absorb that much punishment.

Maynard was also kinda' stupid in not bein' able to finish Edgar in the first place. Instead of stickin' to what he was effectively doin' in the first round, he started to head-hunt. He was looking for that one KO punch to put Edgar away. But Edgar's too fast to avoid all that shit. He just avoided the clinch, and blitzed around while waiting to recover. Man he even took Maynard down! Now this in itself, is another Mighty Mouse move. Edgar is one of the few people who has successfully taken BJ Penn down. And he also took down Maynard, who's supposed to be bullyin' people with his wrestling.

Now due to Mighty Mouse's amazing prowess, the fight ended up a draw! Believe it or not!

Jack Palance should be the one sayin' that famous Ripley line.

They say that if you start the year right, it would end right. Well this PPV says it all about all the upcoming fights for the rest of the year. And we should better watch out for the next UFC PPV. Anderson SIlva-Vitor Belfort is a fight that if not watched, could be a mortal sin.



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