The Sorcerer's Apprentice(post-movie rant)

I didn't see this flick because it was from Walt Disney Studios. I didn't see it because it was produced by Jerry Bruckheimer. I didn't see it because I became fully aware of Nicolas Cage's Hollywood presence during Face-Off and has watched quite a lot of his films ever since. I saw it because of Alfred Molina. Call me weird, but I'm a big fan.

Taking all seriousness aside, this film helped me relax on a Friday night(which is a rarity these days). You can count on the money well spent on the effects and stuff because of Jerry B's production shit. Plus Disney animators also had a hand. But special effects don't shock me anymore that much nowadays. Everybody's doin' it(even here, though it's all crappy animation), but I'm just appreciating it. Love eye candies, in any form!

Seems like Disney's cashing in by making a perfectly timed product placement at the beginning of the movie. They just threw in a shot of a Buzz Lightyear alarm clock buzzing David Stittler(Jay Baruchel) awake back in the day(sometime in the year 2000). Clever Disney eh...

Thanks to Nicolas Cage's long hair, he nicely pulled off the Balthazar Blake wizard role. I was waiting for him to drop one of his funny one-liners(like the ones in Bangkok Dangerous) all night long.

Monica Belluci still looks just as old(or as young I should say) as when she was the Merovingian's wife in Matrix Reloaded. Man those Italian cougars sure could be waxing hot!

David(Baruchel) really looks like a nerdy geek. He doesn't look like the Grand Merlinian at all. But kudos to him because he performed one of the song's of the film's OST(caught it during the credits) entitled "I'm Awesome" or something. Good to see One Republic and Jimmy Eat World on the OST too.

Maxim Horvath(Alfred Molina) isn't really trying to be funny(I bet he's seriously trying to be evil, like Doc Ock), but seems that way especially when teamed up with the Criss Angel like magician in the film named Drake Stone(Toby Kebbell). The Star Wars reference really made me laugh. Horvath did a hypnotic mind trick to this front desk person at David's school by saying, "You do not need to see my identification card" when Drake suddenly blurted out, "These are not the droids you're looking for"[Obi-Wan Kenobi tricking a Storm Trooper into not checking R2D2 and C3PO]. Now that may be nothing to you guys, but that shit's hilarious for a Star Wars addict like me.

Teresa Palmer(Becky Barnes in the flick) looks like a so-so actress with promising potential. If there's such a thing, that's her.

All in all, I rate this flick 3.5 out of 5. Thank Alfred Molina and friends for that.

Inception(post-movie rant)

What can I say? I'm stumped! This flick is the shizzlenit! It's a thinkin' man's movie. If you're left with zero questions when this film ends, that doesn't mean that you are a movie expert. That means you can't understand shit because you can't comprehend a single thing that's happenin'!

Well anyway, I could go on forever explaining what the hell happened and everything. But I can't, because this film has a lot of intricate complexities. I admit that it's more complex than The Matrix. I could actually compare this to The Matrix(with the Architect and other stuff like that). I could say that "Inception is the new Matrix". Without the "Geta-Zone" shots of course. But still, Inception's effects were eye candy to say the least.

Christopher Nolan is a thinkin' man's director. He made my mind work in The Prestige and Dark Knight(hence, the familiar Batman Begins/Dark Knight faces in Inception like Cillian["Kill-Yan"]Murphy and Michael Cain), but I didn't really expect him to make my mind work this much in this movie. Damn Inception! I'm still hung-over. This rant was due a week ago, but I'm just waiting to exhale after the movie. In fact, I will watch this again this coming Sunday! But first, I must watch The Sorcerer's Apprentice and The Last Airbender. Fuck Salt for now.

All I can say is that I give this movie a perfect 10 out of 10 due to the fact that it was all Nolan. Well DiCaprio was pretty impressive too. I haven't watched Blood Diamond yet but my couch tomato bro told me that Leo's acting chops started to sharpen up in this movie. I hope Orlando Bloom's acting goes the same direction as Leonardo's.

Another thing, I'm Asian. And so is Ken Watanabe. 'Nuff said!

Rakrakan Series XXII (post-gig afterthoughts)

I actually didn't finish this gig all the way(I only wanted to check Wilabaliw out), but it felt like I didn't miss a thing. I wasn't on time, but I still managed to watch a lot of bands!

The first band I witnessed on stage when I got there was this band from Cavite named Balatek. My ex-girlfriend Eka told me tales about how "manyak" one of Balatek's band members were. Imagine that dude askin' Eka out to a motel or something. Well that's how Eka puts it. In any case, Balaek had a heavy sound, which was consolation enough.

Second band was Franco. Of course, they rocked again because of their all-star line up.

Arcadia was the 3rd band that I witnessed. I actually forgot how they sounded.

The Chongkeys as usual, delivered the goods. With Eagle Man this time. I believe it was the 2nd time I've seen that guy, dancing in his boxers and shit.

Saydie was there again. Honestly, I don't know a single song, but their vocalist(I believe her name's Kat Taylor or somethin') can really belt it out!

Paramita played when the crowd was sort of thinning and some rocker kids were already sleepy. And they didn't give me the CD that I deserve because I came from afar, ever farther than the kids that got the CD who came from Las Pinas, which is just a stone's throw away compared to where I came from(Cainta).

Slapshock was playing when we(Melody, Mica and Ryan) went out to Andok's to eat some grub. The bouncers weren't gonna let us re-enter the venue(because of the stupid policy that once you're in, there's no going out) but thanks to my savvy sales-talk, we got in again.

Typecast once again played their own brand of emo. But I guess since it's a new decade, emo is gonna be out of style pretty soon.

Kwjan was ready to rumble that night. It's very rare that I get to watch schoolmate Marc Abaya and gang play. And I was also kinda' shocked because it was Wendell(former BArbie's Cradle and current Pupil drummer) and not J-Hoon who was doin' the drumming chores for the band. Either way, both are top-tier drummers so it makes no difference. I just like J-Hoon's "techno" drumming style more than Wendell's and Vic's.

The last band that I witnessed was the band that I was waiting for. Wilabaliw was the shizzlenit! Ian was kinda' cool. I fuckin' didn't know that Ian's Keso bandmates were Ryan's long time friends! If I knew, then I'd always be backstage right?!? Well anyway, Ian's kinda' cool. I verified if Keso was already disbanded. He said don't believe anything that I hear from others. I should get the scoop straight from the man himself!

Anyway, there I was on stage watching Wilabaliw, when the bassist's strap suddenly snapped so he was suddenly kneeling while playing. Then some dude told me to go get some help and find a strap. I just looked away, thinkin', "Why the fuck don't you go get it yourself?!"(Bat 'di nalang ikaw kumuha kaya?).

That's my Rakrakan Series XXII experience. Hope to see you guys again on the next rakrakan series. Special thanks to Bong, The Neils, Andren, Mac(od) for taking care of me. You know, the bag and ice and everything...

Cinemalaya 2010(Short Film Category) - [post-viewing rant]

Thanks to Natalie(Mica's friend and one of the director's "girlfriends"), Mica and I got in for free. We were almost late, but it was all worth it.

First short flick was "Harang(Barriers)" by Mikhail Red. I dunno if he's in any way related to another director named Raymond Red. Honestly, I don't give a fuck because I personally didn't like the flick. It was full of drama or somethin', not my cup 'o tea.

There was also a flaw of some sort during the opening scene, where the camera was just facing the ground while the jeepney was moving on a bumpy road. As the camera was sort of panning along the ground, the shot abruptly transitioned to a shot of the sky. And what's worse, the audio was sorta' cut too! Our director friend Hubert Tibi(the man responsible for our tix I believe) told me that the digital camera can't handle it. But I think that it was just lousy editing. But I dunno, maybe Mr. Red really intended it to be that way. We'll never know.

The second flick was by Hubert himself entitled "Hay Pinhod Oh Ya Scooter(I Want To Have A Bicycle)"[bicycle should be scooter IMO] and it was pretty good. It was spoken in a Banaue dialect, and was narrated by an Englishman I believe(I could detect the accent). I liked many parts of it. Tomas spoke in a cute way every time he says the word "scooter". Miley Cyrus was also a resounding figure in the flick. And I fuckin' knew that it was marijuana that the kid protagonist(I can't recall the exact name of the kid, sorry)was feeding Pukok the pig.

"Lola" by Joey Agbayani was also a novelty to watch. The animation though wasn't up to par with Pixar or anything like that. But you can see the effort. Though we still have a loooong way to go. In any case, I don't really know if the director was gay, a butch girl or whatnot. I'm just fuckin' confused, but it was kinda funny.

The short flick that stole the show was entitled "P" by Rommel Tolentino. It was funny and the main protagonist was pretty good in his acting. I kinda' saw myself in him when I was a li'l kid. I can't really describe the flick because one has to watch this shit to know what the fuck I'm talking about.

"Wag Kang Titingin" by Pam Miras was pretty so-so. The video quality was grainy. I don't know what camera was used to shoot that short film, but it was kinda' crappy. Though the li'l girl who was in it was cute. I actually met the kid after the show and gave her a high 5.

After that, we downed some beer. And the rest was history...

Eclipse(post-viewing rant)

Haven't read the book yet(I'm not even done yet with Twilight), but still I wanna share my 2 cents.

Jacob the Indian Boy(Taylor Lautner) looked really roided up! Good for him though that he has put the smack down on Bella Swan's(Kristen Stewart's) lips. Yummy!

Robert Pattinson would feel just as jealous as Edward Cullen in real life because I think the 2(Kristen and Robert) are romantically linked in real life too. Well what do I know. I'm always lagging way behind sometimes when it comes to Hollywood scoops that I ain't interested about.

A li'l bit more vampire battle scenes would have made this movie more appealing to me. I only watch the film and read the book just to look for my own personal vampire adrenaline rush. Like in the movie Interview With The Vampire, I was looking for more scenes where Lestat and Louis were running around so fast, zipping in and out of focus. That's what the fuck I am looking for. The "vampire moments". More of that please on the last 2 installments. Thank you!

Argentina will win next time...

Too bad the Maradona-coached team was thrashed by Germany 4-0. I really didn't think that'll happen. I was predicting more like Argentina 4, Germany-2, or something along those lines. Oh well, Spain needs all the firepower and defense it could muster to beat the well-oiled German war machine.

Good thing that the soothsayer octopus in Germany picked Spain to win against Deutschland later. That octopus has a very high percentage when it comes to picking World Cup winners. It even picked the Serbians to win against the Germans back in their Group D battles.

Knight And Day(post-viewing afterthouhgts)

I didn't know that at $20.5 million, the total weekend box office take for Knight And Day was the worst result for an action film starring Tom Cruise in 20 years. Well I understand that this action wouldn't match all the Mission Impossible installments, so what's new?

The thing was that I didn't expect this movie to have so many bad reviews. Heck, it was even compared to the movie Killers! That's how bad it is. But what do critics know anyway? Good thing too that I didn't waste any money on Killers. And I admit that I enjoyed Knight And Day more than Eclipse to tell you honestly.

My favorite part of the flick was when June Havens(Cameron Diaz) was explaining to her ex-boyfriend/firefighter Rodney(Marc Blucas) that Roy Miller(Tom Cruise) was the guy that she was talking about, and then Roy Miller suddenly shows up and says, "I'm the guy!", after Cameron mumbled, "He's the guy...", to ROdney. Funny shit! He started to become funny to me since Tropic Thunder(as the enigmatic and villainous Les Grossman) came out. Hopefully it all snowballs from here.

In a broader perspective, the plot's a li'l stale for me. The spy shit that happens in movies sometimes doesn't do it for me anymore. It was a li'l cool though that he's the rogue type.

Overall, a nice flick to just sit back and relax to...

The End of the Beginning(of the End) of Fedor

Many of us here might not know who Fedor is. I mean, the average Joe(or Juan or Buboy or whatever...)would just stop and say, "Who the fuck is Fyodor Emelianenko?!?!"

I would say, "Oh he's just a nobody, who's just defeated around 30 opponents(top of the food chain quality for some, who boast UFC and Pride belts) and had one loss due to DQ via a nasty cut. But the bastard could still fight. It's just that fuckin' scar tissue thing(he's been punched and cut too many times).

Anyway, there I was, just living my life coolly, when news of the loss came. It was like a blow to me. I mean, Fedor was like God(sorry for the comparison Master God!:))in the MMA world. He's the reason why Randy Couture left the UFC in the first place. It's not about the movies Randy's been making(I believe he was making the sequel to The Scorpion King that time, and watch out for him too in The Expendables ,comin' out this August). It's not about the women and his personal life(I personally believe he's banging Gina Carano, witwiw!). It's about glory!

And glory can be attained by fighting the demi-god Fedor (a.k.a. "The Last Emperor", alyas "The Russian Experiment"). But someone has already beaten Randy to glory. In the form of Fabricio Werdum. The lucky bastard! The name Werdum would now and forever echo in the annals of MMA history. He will forever be known as the man who made Fedor's experiment an epic failure.

In this fight, you can clearly see what Brazilian Jiu-jitsu, or BJJ, brings to the table. Now Fedor is no slouch in the grappling department. He's a multiple combat sambo world champion, and is therefore well-versed on the ground. But Werdum's level of BJJ is just a notch higher than Fedor's sambo, so when Fedor went to the ground and entered Werdum's guard, it was all downhill from there.

Fedor has escaped numerous submission attempts in the past. But a simple slap of a triangle choke by Werdum just made Fedor tap out irritably. It was like a miracle. Somebody stopping The Last Emperor himself. Some say that it's the beginning of the end for him. But I say it's all just an end towards a new beginning. This loss will only galvanize this fighting machine. He'll be back, like the Terminator.

Toy Story 3[3D]/Or just plain ole' Toy Story 3D[afterthoughts...]

This is perhaps my favorite Toy Story installment, due to the fact that it made me cry. Plus it's also in 3D. Nothing beats 3D man, not even HDTV or LED or whatever the fuck that shit's called.

I loved[I always love stuff] how the opening scene played out. You know, like a western-style action flick, with Woody and Buzz Lightyear of course being the heroes. The method of killing chosen by the piggy bank(Dr. Evil Mr. Porkchop) was totally hilarious too if you think of it enough. Death by monkeys! You're gonna fuckin' die via a sea of red monkeys!

I believe my favorite character is Rex just because his character is the anti-thesis of what a T-Rex should be. And the voice seems so fitting.

Barbie and Ken played a cute couple. And it's funny how Ken denies to death that he's a girl's toy. But I don't know a single male boy playing with a Ken doll. The li'l male faggs maybe. So fuck Ken!

Lots-'O-Huggin' Bear(a.k.a. "Lotso") reminds me a lot about the Teddy Ruxpin(did I spell that right?) Teddy Bear on TV when I was a li'l boy(a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...). I didn't have one though.

Mr. Potato Head's body parts on a pita bread had my sides bursting, and him as a cucumber had me laughing as well.

And lastly, for all we know, Buzz Lightyear could've been voiced over by none other than Sly Stallone!